One Year and Over Club Part 19
Sober date 5/1/13
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
G'day Overs.
Itchy - I've heard other Xmilitary folk say they can drop to sleep in an instant, must be not knowing when the next chance to sleep will come.
DG - hope your spell in the great outdoors helps.
Instant - - yes it's just not what we do any more.
Soberwolf - Hello.
We've been pickling some of our produce and I've been thinking of this time as the pickling season. In another way Hallowgivingmas is also the pickling season.
Itchy - I've heard other Xmilitary folk say they can drop to sleep in an instant, must be not knowing when the next chance to sleep will come.
DG - hope your spell in the great outdoors helps.
Instant -
it's great how I don't even notice the wine anymore and just enjoy the company and laughs
Soberwolf - Hello.
We've been pickling some of our produce and I've been thinking of this time as the pickling season. In another way Hallowgivingmas is also the pickling season.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by Treerat66 
We've been pickling some of our produce and I've been thinking of this time as the pickling season. In another way Hallowgivingmas is also the pickling season.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Well, yesterday was one of those days when I was just forcing myself through the motions more or less. I did enjoy my hike, at least once I got far enough a long the trail to leave the crowds behind. Normally when I visit this place, I am here on a weeknight. The weekend crowds were a bit more than expected. But I know what to expect for next time. But even out enjoying my hike, I had trouble keeping myself from dwellling on stuff.
Then after my hike, I forced myself into the nearby town to go to wal-mart. Anyway, not the best day, but I did stay clean and sober and I did put in the extra effort to go and do things even though I didn't really feel like it.
The plan for today is to try and let all that go. I am packing up and getting out of this place shortly. My destination tonight is a place I've been before and is absolutely gorgeous. I expect the drive to get there to be really pretty as well. Then it's time to gear up for another work week.
Then after my hike, I forced myself into the nearby town to go to wal-mart. Anyway, not the best day, but I did stay clean and sober and I did put in the extra effort to go and do things even though I didn't really feel like it.
The plan for today is to try and let all that go. I am packing up and getting out of this place shortly. My destination tonight is a place I've been before and is absolutely gorgeous. I expect the drive to get there to be really pretty as well. Then it's time to gear up for another work week.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Guys!
Did anyone click on that link about the Mayo clinic findings about coffee's health benefits? For those in other countries the Mayo clinic to medicine is like saying Oxford or Harvard to college education.
I was such a heavy drinker and then fully retired to drink full time as well as chain smoking, well, I have been astounded at my lack of liver and other ailments and now put that down to coffee drinking since childhood. My dad came here from England in 1949 and married my mom whose parents were of French and German descent but whose families settled in Colombia. They emigrated to the US in the mid 20s. They serve coffee, half and half with sweetened condensed milk to kids down there so I've had coffee all my life. I had thermos' made of steel that held a quart and always had a cup and a smoke on breaks. I even would sit in tree stands drinking coffee while deer hunting, or Bass fishing. Hot coffee in hot summer days made me feel cooler somehow. Still does.
Andy,
Perhaps it is something some military share. Never thought about that. We always lived close to, or on- base so slept through our jets doing engine run ups and fling overhead with max thrust to take off four to ten B-52s at a time, as most of our career was in SAC, which no longer exists. (we'd say we were SACumcised) Fighters are much quieter except far from base and high enough for sonic booms not to be heard. In certain conditions that can also be seen:
Did anyone click on that link about the Mayo clinic findings about coffee's health benefits? For those in other countries the Mayo clinic to medicine is like saying Oxford or Harvard to college education.
I was such a heavy drinker and then fully retired to drink full time as well as chain smoking, well, I have been astounded at my lack of liver and other ailments and now put that down to coffee drinking since childhood. My dad came here from England in 1949 and married my mom whose parents were of French and German descent but whose families settled in Colombia. They emigrated to the US in the mid 20s. They serve coffee, half and half with sweetened condensed milk to kids down there so I've had coffee all my life. I had thermos' made of steel that held a quart and always had a cup and a smoke on breaks. I even would sit in tree stands drinking coffee while deer hunting, or Bass fishing. Hot coffee in hot summer days made me feel cooler somehow. Still does.
Andy,
Perhaps it is something some military share. Never thought about that. We always lived close to, or on- base so slept through our jets doing engine run ups and fling overhead with max thrust to take off four to ten B-52s at a time, as most of our career was in SAC, which no longer exists. (we'd say we were SACumcised) Fighters are much quieter except far from base and high enough for sonic booms not to be heard. In certain conditions that can also be seen:
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hi Wolf 
Hi Instant! It is amazing how nice things can be with a little trim. It took me awhile to get over my amazement at being around drinkers and having what I want to drink which isn't alcohol anymore. But the memory of my daily failure to quit for the last couple of really bad years, and the uncontrollable shaking and vomiting every few mornings is still, and always will be as if yesterday. It brings me no grief as I really did no harm or lost anything but my own self respect. Thinking about it always cheers me up and brings a smile to my face because it is astounding how the man during my life up until about 45, and for the last four years never needed it. Then I did and thought my fixation with it was normal, just the acceptable way to relax. Then I made jokes about it, and then was sneaking a flask in everywhere. So I could spike my coffee. That was three years before I quit. My wife's drinking is background noise, she has her drink and I have mine. Now I rarely think about it but appreciate the reminder to be very happy to be free again. I think once we can think about our past drinking like a ten year bad job. Just glad to have gotten through it, never going to fall for any situation even remotely like it. Even if legal no weed, which I had not done since a teen in the late 60's in the New York scene. I never took any pain meds save NSAIDs because early on I saw the folks who did heroin, cough syrup, glue sniffers, speed, and the downers tuinal, seconal, etc. And their lives ruined and ended. I thought weed safe but tried each of the above once, and only once. They don't stop pain for me at all, just make me not care. Life was exciting but I saw others whose "kicks" required ever increasing doses to feel the high, thus the song "Kicks." I stayed away from drugs except for weed and a brief addiction to inhalants which convinced me that wasn't where I wanted to go. Alcohol wasn't a problem in my family, drunks were not something I saw. Then suddenly I found I was on that slope myself.
Funny how a related life lesson isn't apparent at the time, but in hindsight is clearly seen for what it is!
I am so glad to have learned it, hard way or not, and got away with it. Lot's can't say that. The fact that I'm never going back isn't a promise, not a God willing, but the same as cannibalism if you will. Not that it can't be done, just never by me. That is so taboo that even the concept is unthinkable. I am in the same danger of becoming a cannibal as drinking alcohol.
I am very comfortable knowing I will never drink again because I can't handle the addiction again. No self deluding, no fear, no anger, no guilt, no regrets, no reputation, no boredom, no hurt, pain, or loss, can ever make flushing myself down the toilet again palatable in any way.
I'm comfortable with that, and the memory of the lessons learned.
DG,
Sorry you are having an empty feeling this weekend. But isn't it nice to be empty when that feeling come, and sober anyway? I do less than you, perhaps you just need a hug? Consider that my thought is a hug that won't stop what you feel, but just accepts your feeling that way. Hugz.
Hey RZ,
Now that I look forward to. Maybe Instant can set up a tubie account and do some too. I miss making my music for me. Playing loud and harsh when I'm angry, soft and sweet when life's gift of loves overwhelms me, and trying to paint a picture of things that are really funny in hindsight, but were a little out there at the time. Some of my musical pictures tell the story of a loved and gone Gramps, or the power and potential wrapped up in the first power exerted over the world by a child, at the end of a kite in flight. Or reflecting on a world of facades. Oh well, I can write but lacking the ability to play them anymore makes that phase past. Like FBL and his video collection of the greats of stage and screen, I have a collection of music I can turn to.
I'm waiting for a call to meet a guy to see some steps for my truck. He advertised on Craigslist but seems afraid to come here. I remember when we paid for an ad in the paper and folks had to come to see it, or I had to go to see it. Today everyone wants to meet in a public place which is alright I guess, but this person wants a car stereo in trade that I offered but I can't bring all my trade stuff there. I think I'll just buy them or not. Or set up like RZ, but that sounds so much like W-O-R-K.
New desktop is great. Later I'll be taking everything off this tablet and sending it in for repair. Having it blank out then recovering is really irritating.
Sunny, not humid, not hot or cold. Time to let the pups take me out for some exercise.
Have a great Sunday everyone!
Hi Instant! It is amazing how nice things can be with a little trim. It took me awhile to get over my amazement at being around drinkers and having what I want to drink which isn't alcohol anymore. But the memory of my daily failure to quit for the last couple of really bad years, and the uncontrollable shaking and vomiting every few mornings is still, and always will be as if yesterday. It brings me no grief as I really did no harm or lost anything but my own self respect. Thinking about it always cheers me up and brings a smile to my face because it is astounding how the man during my life up until about 45, and for the last four years never needed it. Then I did and thought my fixation with it was normal, just the acceptable way to relax. Then I made jokes about it, and then was sneaking a flask in everywhere. So I could spike my coffee. That was three years before I quit. My wife's drinking is background noise, she has her drink and I have mine. Now I rarely think about it but appreciate the reminder to be very happy to be free again. I think once we can think about our past drinking like a ten year bad job. Just glad to have gotten through it, never going to fall for any situation even remotely like it. Even if legal no weed, which I had not done since a teen in the late 60's in the New York scene. I never took any pain meds save NSAIDs because early on I saw the folks who did heroin, cough syrup, glue sniffers, speed, and the downers tuinal, seconal, etc. And their lives ruined and ended. I thought weed safe but tried each of the above once, and only once. They don't stop pain for me at all, just make me not care. Life was exciting but I saw others whose "kicks" required ever increasing doses to feel the high, thus the song "Kicks." I stayed away from drugs except for weed and a brief addiction to inhalants which convinced me that wasn't where I wanted to go. Alcohol wasn't a problem in my family, drunks were not something I saw. Then suddenly I found I was on that slope myself.
Funny how a related life lesson isn't apparent at the time, but in hindsight is clearly seen for what it is!
I am so glad to have learned it, hard way or not, and got away with it. Lot's can't say that. The fact that I'm never going back isn't a promise, not a God willing, but the same as cannibalism if you will. Not that it can't be done, just never by me. That is so taboo that even the concept is unthinkable. I am in the same danger of becoming a cannibal as drinking alcohol.
I am very comfortable knowing I will never drink again because I can't handle the addiction again. No self deluding, no fear, no anger, no guilt, no regrets, no reputation, no boredom, no hurt, pain, or loss, can ever make flushing myself down the toilet again palatable in any way.
I'm comfortable with that, and the memory of the lessons learned.
DG,
Sorry you are having an empty feeling this weekend. But isn't it nice to be empty when that feeling come, and sober anyway? I do less than you, perhaps you just need a hug? Consider that my thought is a hug that won't stop what you feel, but just accepts your feeling that way. Hugz.
Hey RZ,
Now that I look forward to. Maybe Instant can set up a tubie account and do some too. I miss making my music for me. Playing loud and harsh when I'm angry, soft and sweet when life's gift of loves overwhelms me, and trying to paint a picture of things that are really funny in hindsight, but were a little out there at the time. Some of my musical pictures tell the story of a loved and gone Gramps, or the power and potential wrapped up in the first power exerted over the world by a child, at the end of a kite in flight. Or reflecting on a world of facades. Oh well, I can write but lacking the ability to play them anymore makes that phase past. Like FBL and his video collection of the greats of stage and screen, I have a collection of music I can turn to.
I'm waiting for a call to meet a guy to see some steps for my truck. He advertised on Craigslist but seems afraid to come here. I remember when we paid for an ad in the paper and folks had to come to see it, or I had to go to see it. Today everyone wants to meet in a public place which is alright I guess, but this person wants a car stereo in trade that I offered but I can't bring all my trade stuff there. I think I'll just buy them or not. Or set up like RZ, but that sounds so much like W-O-R-K.
New desktop is great. Later I'll be taking everything off this tablet and sending it in for repair. Having it blank out then recovering is really irritating.
Sunny, not humid, not hot or cold. Time to let the pups take me out for some exercise.
Have a great Sunday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Went to the MOST bizarre AA meeting today This meeting is held in a hospital and sometimes someone comes along who is staying on the psychiatric ward (a ward I have stayed on a couple of times...
So, it was an open meeting today and a lady came along from the psychiatric ward who had also come to a meeting on Wednesday evening. I have seen her before in meetings in AA but obviously things have been tough for her of late. Anyway, she also brought along her partner and asked me if this was an open meeting. I said it was and said hello.... anyway, it turns out that this guy is also an alcoholic and had been asked to do the main share (like a speaker meeting). So, the meeting gets started as per usual and this guy is introduced and starts to talk. Normally, at our speaker meetings, the main sharer just continues to sit down whilst talking. However, this guy stands up and begins with 'Good evening...' [even though it is the middle of the afternoon!]... and talks about how it used to be for him... after a while he talks about sobriety and THEN talks about 'controlled drinking' and the fact that he counsels others now and 'can get anyone sober'... at which point his lady partner gets up and walks out the meeting.... shortly followed by this guy...!! .... the meeting carries on with the chairperson doing an extremely valiant job of handling the situation and sharing a bit about their journey before the coffee break. After the coffee break everyone gets a chance to share for 2 or 3 minutes (we go round the room). By this time, the guy and lady have come back to the meeting and the group sharing is being polite and courteous.... after a while, the lady walks out again and the guy follows and they don't come back to the meeting at all. The sharing round the room carries on and there are a couple of more forthright shares about what has just happened in the room, but also a genuine amount of strength and care coming from people and thoughts about everything happening for a reason and the fact that there is more than one way to get sober and that we (as a group) probably needed what happened today to happen.....
It's kind of hard to describe everything that happened the way it happened, but it certainly made me very grateful that I have never thought about drinking since I finally got sober nearly 2 years ago.
In other news, I had the most delicious roast chicken dinner followed by pear crumble and ice cream - everything home made!! Certainly a good end to a weird weekend - lol!
This meeting is held in a hospital and sometimes someone comes along who is staying on the psychiatric ward (a ward I have stayed on a couple of times...So, it was an open meeting today and a lady came along from the psychiatric ward who had also come to a meeting on Wednesday evening. I have seen her before in meetings in AA but obviously things have been tough for her of late. Anyway, she also brought along her partner and asked me if this was an open meeting. I said it was and said hello.... anyway, it turns out that this guy is also an alcoholic and had been asked to do the main share (like a speaker meeting). So, the meeting gets started as per usual and this guy is introduced and starts to talk. Normally, at our speaker meetings, the main sharer just continues to sit down whilst talking. However, this guy stands up and begins with 'Good evening...' [even though it is the middle of the afternoon!]... and talks about how it used to be for him... after a while he talks about sobriety and THEN talks about 'controlled drinking' and the fact that he counsels others now and 'can get anyone sober'... at which point his lady partner gets up and walks out the meeting.... shortly followed by this guy...!! .... the meeting carries on with the chairperson doing an extremely valiant job of handling the situation and sharing a bit about their journey before the coffee break. After the coffee break everyone gets a chance to share for 2 or 3 minutes (we go round the room). By this time, the guy and lady have come back to the meeting and the group sharing is being polite and courteous.... after a while, the lady walks out again and the guy follows and they don't come back to the meeting at all. The sharing round the room carries on and there are a couple of more forthright shares about what has just happened in the room, but also a genuine amount of strength and care coming from people and thoughts about everything happening for a reason and the fact that there is more than one way to get sober and that we (as a group) probably needed what happened today to happen.....
It's kind of hard to describe everything that happened the way it happened, but it certainly made me very grateful that I have never thought about drinking since I finally got sober nearly 2 years ago.
In other news, I had the most delicious roast chicken dinner followed by pear crumble and ice cream - everything home made!! Certainly a good end to a weird weekend - lol!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Hey gang quick check in , I'm at work on a 15 hour night shift , went out earlier and destroyed the gym then ate a huge roast pork dinner with the wife and kids...I'm in sort of holiday mode as I have to get through 5 more 15 hour shifts and then I'm on holiday for a whole week , I'm not going away anywhere but it'll be good to stay at home and spend time with the kids as in the 2 years I've been working for this company I haven't
took any time off whatsoever apart from my 1 day off a week...
I hope everyone else is keeping well and hopefully I'll check back soon..
Take care....Steve.
took any time off whatsoever apart from my 1 day off a week...
I hope everyone else is keeping well and hopefully I'll check back soon..
Take care....Steve.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
YW DG
Hope you have a pleasant drive, and stop doing the Internet and eating while you are driving! Unless you are parked in which case don't read the preceding.
FG,
That is bizarre alright. Remember it isn't all God and/or fate. We have a little free will in there too.
Steve you work 15 hours and work out? I am jealous!
You folks in the UK are six hours ahead of me if you are in Greenwich. Your dinner posts come in at my lunchtime.
Y'all are sound asleep now as it is 7 PM here so it is 1AM over there.
The guy with the steps for my truck never showed or called. I can't fathom folks who advertise something for sale, and then keep setting up meetings that they never show up to sell it. Some folks are just strange.
Hope you have a pleasant drive, and stop doing the Internet and eating while you are driving! Unless you are parked in which case don't read the preceding.
FG,
That is bizarre alright. Remember it isn't all God and/or fate. We have a little free will in there too.
Steve you work 15 hours and work out? I am jealous!
You folks in the UK are six hours ahead of me if you are in Greenwich. Your dinner posts come in at my lunchtime.
Y'all are sound asleep now as it is 7 PM here so it is 1AM over there.
The guy with the steps for my truck never showed or called. I can't fathom folks who advertise something for sale, and then keep setting up meetings that they never show up to sell it. Some folks are just strange.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Good evening Overies!
Reflecting on how sobriety contributes to a more mature outlook on life, even at my advancing age (I got a senior discount today, and didn't even ask for it
) anyway..
I think I mentioned a good friend of mine is moving away. Known several people who have moved lately and in the past I usually felt abandoned, angry and maybe even a bit jealous, even though I like where I live quite a lot. That was booze and my clouded, polluted mind working.
But instead of drinking and feeling like a "King Baby" (a self-centered, poor me, egomaniac,) I am happy for him and know he will be missed. He is finally retiring at nearly 74 and going to live in San Francisco, a city he loves and lived in for many years. He was a Deacon at my church, my walking partner, dinner partner and honorary sponsor since he has 34 years sober. I can let go, knowing we can still communicate and stay in touch, I have a free place to stay in SF and someone I can always call if I feel I am going to relapse.
It is going to be ok.
Have my follow up shrink appointment this week. New meds going ok, but I still have more dark periods than I want plus some anxiety to deal with. Just one more step to getting to normal, whatever that is for me. I have a ways to go, but I can better accept what life throws at me, living one day at a time.
Have a good week Overs, no... have a fabulous week!
Reflecting on how sobriety contributes to a more mature outlook on life, even at my advancing age (I got a senior discount today, and didn't even ask for it
) anyway..I think I mentioned a good friend of mine is moving away. Known several people who have moved lately and in the past I usually felt abandoned, angry and maybe even a bit jealous, even though I like where I live quite a lot. That was booze and my clouded, polluted mind working.
But instead of drinking and feeling like a "King Baby" (a self-centered, poor me, egomaniac,) I am happy for him and know he will be missed. He is finally retiring at nearly 74 and going to live in San Francisco, a city he loves and lived in for many years. He was a Deacon at my church, my walking partner, dinner partner and honorary sponsor since he has 34 years sober. I can let go, knowing we can still communicate and stay in touch, I have a free place to stay in SF and someone I can always call if I feel I am going to relapse.
It is going to be ok.
Have my follow up shrink appointment this week. New meds going ok, but I still have more dark periods than I want plus some anxiety to deal with. Just one more step to getting to normal, whatever that is for me. I have a ways to go, but I can better accept what life throws at me, living one day at a time.
Have a good week Overs, no... have a fabulous week!
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