Introspectator

I slipped on Sept 6th, had a few shots, haven't touched anything since. I could have taken the "defeated route," but instead I put it in perspective: the 6th is the only day I drank so I am on day 19, with the one drinking day in there. Coming from drinking everyday for years, I am pretty excited that I have only drank 1 day out of 19 and counting!! Am I still part of the class??

nmd

welcome 3arai and josharon and welcome back introspectator. I didn't slip a day, I slipped a week (last week), and I know how hard it can be to come back. I think you are a part of the class as long as you want to be.

TryingInTexas

This morning I couldn't find where I put my watch last night. I put it in the same drawer about 90% of the time, but every now and then I put it somewhere else before bed for some reason that seemed good at the time. But this time (2 weeks today, btw!) I didn't have to feel guilty about losing it after too much to drink. I just felt silly, generally. And you know what? That feels pretty good. Found the watch too -- just put it in a drawer in another part of the house where I had been.

Avice

It's funny that so many people are talking about free time...I was just about to post about that. I've been feeling a little blah today - no big deal, but I'm finding it hard to muster up any enthusiasm.
So I just came back from grocery shopping, and I got a chatty clerk. I do remember this guy because I was on the verge of a panic attack the last time he talked to me (I avoid chatty people for this reason). I generally do not do well when it comes to face to face conversation. This time, it was FINE. That's pretty major. I came to two conclusions:
1. I'll take a case of the blahs over paralyzing anxiety anytime, thank you very much.
2. I think I'm ready to work on developing a social life. I didn't mind being alone when I was drunk (it's a party in my mind, maaaannnnn), but now it's different.

TigerLili, Hawk07, countrygirl2014, 3arai, josharon. Welcome to the gang.

Findingtheway. I feel like a totally different person too - really. It feels like I made the decision to get sober months ago.

gnarlyboots. I think it takes a while to adjust to being sober. I know that I've been struggling to figure out what the 'new me' wants and what she can handle. It ain't easy.

safeandsound. The last time I had a months' sobriety I went to see a concert at around week 2. There was this guy near the front of the stage and he was so hammered that he straight up fell over and couldn't get back up for a while. I was like - oh man...I'm so glad that's not me. This was before the show had even started. Glad you had a good time out and didn't feel tempted.

Introspectator. Glad you decided to come back!

All right - time for me to figure out some ways to get out of the house...

PS - Girls! I beat you to the thrift store. Scored some awesome stuff and it only cost $30 at the end of it all. Pretty sweet.

BlissWithin

this is my first post and I hope to contribute with the forum, had a relapse (hopefully my last) on day 2, I am really looking forward for an alcohol and drug-free life

Dee74

Welcome to the thread and to SR BlissWithin
Welcome too to Countrygirl and 3arai

D

youngconfused

Bliss within
I just joined this site and have come farther in my sobriety and I too have tried and failed twice !!! Tomm is a new day! I hope you can find the courage too quit and I can too! I am feeling like it's impossible ....

BlissWithin

youngconfused
I joined this community with this purpose, to help me and others, Im damn sure right that it is possible to live normal lives without drinking/using, many people do, why cant we?

safeandsound

Feeling lonely. My husband supports my sobriety (not drinking too much in front of me), which means he is out drinking instead of here with me, and I'm still an emotional wreck due to new sobriety. It's comforting to know that others go through this crappy phase, too, but it doesn't take away the feelings. I feel super super sad. There is so much pain I haven't dealt with and don't want to. I guess it's just bubbling up to the surface now that I don't have a way of numbing it.

That department "party" was just some catered food and people standing or sitting around talking. It is almost comical how inconsequential drinking was in the situation--nobody cared or even noticed that I was drinking soda! Shows how self-centered I am. Well, I'm sure if I stayed longer the heavy drinkers would bring it up, but I left early and have been home alone ever since, mind spinning in circles. I know I'll be up late again. Thank God for SR because once again I have been reading it for hours just to stay busy. Can't even focus enough for TV.

Welcome to all the newcomers. You can do it! It may be rough for me right now, but I know this will pass eventually and I just have to put up with it. It is miles away from how bad I felt when I was drinking or the mornings after a binge.

Dee74

It's a time of readjustment, safe...but it won;t always be this way and you won;t always feel the need to stay at home.

Work on building up those sobriety muscles...think about ways to start building a sober life

D

youngconfused

Bliss within
I have no idea I think I over analyze my situation too much but I do find lots of inspiration on here it's time to change that's for sure our lives are too precious to waste another minute on these black holes of disease

AncientMariner

Hi everyone,

Day 4. Last night was....an accomplishment? the start? a rewiring of my brain circuits? hard?

Last night I arrived in the new city where I'll work. I know no-one (I regard that as a positive, as it's a clean slate).....well, I know no-one except one contact who works here too...I'll cross that bridge...anyway, I needed to go out and get something to eat...I walked past a few places and noticed 'something'...a bit of social awkwardness of being alone/eating out alone on Friday night maybe.....anyway, it was late and I didn't want to go too far so chose a place quickly.....slight awkwardness....the thought 'they think I'm a loser/loner/etc' passed through my mind.....and also the realisation....'yeah, and this is the moment where I would normally kill that feeling by submerging myself in copious amounts of red wine....and then getting 'lost'. Yeah I don't need that...

change thoughts...'They think I'm cool and a man about town!!! Yeah', that feels better! Wait my inner alpha is stirring...

change thoughts....'what do I care what "they" think of me' I'm sure they are too busy with their own lives!!!! And I just need to be fed and watered and get to bed!!

At this point, I was asked to leave the restaurant for having a highly animated conversation with myself and waving around the salt and pepper shaker in each hand in mid air...


no really, I just ordered my meal with coke and flirted with the waitress. That stupid feeling disappeared for the most part. I did look at the wine and think 'this is going to be a challenge' but then I thought of the last time....I can't afford it again...it's negative circumstances everytime....I don't need that!!

I think I need this experience repeated over and over to rewire my brain...

Have a great day!!!!!

Neverthought

Interesting that you point out the rewiring of the brain AM. That's exactly what is happening (I believe) from the many articles I've read in the past. It's the reconnecting of the neurons. Alcohol breaks that circuit and re-routes it.

Great job class and now, let's all go get re-wired....

Well, day (26) here....

Stay Strong Septemberites......

thisibelieve

I'm back. Day one it just seems so easy for everyone here! why is this so so hard for me?

I drank when I got out of work on Thursday night. I have to find a new job. My current one makes me so miserable, I can't pinpoint it. I work in a restaurant/bar, and it's too easy for me to sit and have a drink after work, and too stressful to me to watch the same people boozin it up everyday.
I took the weekend off of work even though I can't afford to. It's time to make some big changes, because this current pattern is not working. Spending the day today applying different jobs, and I'm going to a newcomer's AA meeting tomorrow night. Something's go to change and I don't care if it's hard or awkward or it sucks- It needs to be done.

Looking forward to catching up with all of your posts today Have a great sober weekend

ANewDayNYC

Hey everyone - just checking in and made it to Day 7. Had a pretty stressful week at work so I was glad I was able to make it through.

My desire to drink on Fridays is so incredibly strong - it feels like the undertow of the ocean trying to pull me in. I'm glad I made plans this Friday, and was able to not fall into my old routines.

Cecilia44

Good morning to the class. Hope everyone has a great day today.

Avice, I love that you respond and mention so many other people in your posts. That must take some reading and remembering what people said to include it and I admire you for taking the time to do it.

Ha! The thrift store! Indeed, you beat me. I am going tomorrow in hopes of finding some cool and gently used, interesting stuff. I love looking around the thrift store.

AncientMariner, love that you stayed sober and put a positive spin on the situation. I always feel awkward eating in public alone too, but you are right, most people probably just don't really care. It is our big egos that make us think "everyone is watching us." I doubt we are that important to them.

thisibelieve, it gets easier. Trust me. Focus on just one day at a time. Only today is the day you need to worry about and then do whatever it takes to make it today. Reach out here too, for as much support as you need. I have found this site a God send.

Day 6 for me here. Feeling kind of tired this morning. Didn't sleep very well last night and woke up too early. I think it is withdraw, but not necessarily from the booze itself as now that I before more sober and my brain gets clearer and clearer, my mind doesn't want to shut off at night. I keep thinking and thinking about whatever really. Then in the morning, since I feel so much better sober, I can't wait to get out of bed to get my day started. This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. which is way too early. Tried to get back to sleep, but it just didn't happen.

I plan on catching a nap later, but not too long of one. I find if I wake up overly rested or groggy it tends to lead me to the booze, so about an hour nap is what I hope to get.

For me today, I am going to the state park with my dog and taking along a book to read which I am almost done with. Perhaps some snacks as well.

Hugs to all. Let's make today a really good sober day!

Alynn

good morning class!

Ancient - hope you adjust to the new city well! Funny with the salt shakers. . Depends on the city, could have been completely normal in some. Haha

Thisibelieve- hang in there! I really hope you find a job that makes you happier.


Day 20- yard sale sell adventures this morning. Almost like a thrift store? Cool temps here... Going to relax today Have a great weekend everyone!

I can do all things through he who strengthens me

DeannaM77

I made the mistake last night and bought a pint of Captain Morgan's. I can't stop asking myself why? So tired of giving into this nasty habit. I only drank 3 glasses and dumped the rest down the drain. Then I went to bed and cried myself o sleep. Felt good to let it out. I rarely ever cry. To used to holding it all in.I have decided to fit an AA meeting into my schedule next week. I am not a social person so I will go and listen. I don't think I can do this without f2f support.

roguedreams

Howdy, thisibelieve

I just wanted to say I completely understand where you're coming from. I had to quit work (as an exotic dancer) because the temptation to drink was just too strong. I had to put sobriety over money - I'm also applying for jobs right and left and going to AA. You're right where you belong - even though it sucks and you feel like your financial bottom has dropped out from underneath you.

Thank you for this as well, because I've been considering working in a bar or restaurant setting - not sure I can handle that either. I think I'm constrained to data entry and clerical work for now.

nmd

Day six, feeling pretty strong. Nothing triggering the old AV today. Planning on keeping it that way, but I'll deal with it if I have to. No going back, being sober I feel great even when I don't feel great if that makes sense.

Some trouble with the kids the past few days, i have three 10 y/o boys who are starting to get the teen attitude (and a 16 y/o boy) but are generally great kids and well behaved. But wow, the talking back... It helps that I've been calm the past couple days, I'm over the worst of the anxiety and hangover I think. The kids have made comments on how much I drank, but I'm not sure they understand it isn't normal.

Trying to keep up with everyones posts, have a great Saturday!