thisibelieve

Hello all, I'm still here. Made it through day 2. Haven't been posting much b/c I broke 2 of the keys on my laptop, so it's been a pain in the butt to type. I'll have to get the Sr app...Had a nice day to today, went to church with my mom this am, had coffee outside, went on a tour of a local poet's historic home, did a little shopping.
I took the weekend off of work even though there's no way I could afford it. Oh well....

was reading this am about some of the symptoms of post acute withdrawl syndrome- problems sleeping, trouble focusing and concentrating and the inability to deal with normal amounts of stress. I feel like this is a HUGE issue for me. Makes a little more sense now.

Hope you all had a good weekend....please keep trying, keep writing, and don't give up hope

"In a murderous time
the heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
It is necessary to go
through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn.
I am looking for the trail.

-Stanley Kunitz "The Testing Tree"

Findingtheway

Hello friends. Made it through the weekend. 25 days sober now. 1 month chip is coming my way soon. Feels awesome.

This weekend had to overcome temptation/AV thoughts Saturday.

But I did the following to get through.

A) posted/interaction on SR
B) went for a walk. Bought a pizza instead on Saturday!
C) surrendered to the feelings...but didn't ACT on them. They after all were just thoughts/feelings they alone have no power to harm me.

D) realized I want to go to sleep and wake up sober. I want control over what I say and what I do...I don't have that when I'm drinking.

E) decided to have some fun. It is possible without booze. Firing up the old NES to play some old Skool nes games. Now this is fun for me!

Thanks guys. I'm sober today. I wish you all a safe and sober evening.

Stay vigilant!

DearPrudence

Hi Classmates--

Day 8 just about wrapped up as I type this. Hooboy, rough weekend in some ways-- the craving for that chardonnay was strong indeed. Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours w/ friends working on a book project. On the way home I was hit w/ the urge to stop and pick up something. Fought it off, though, and made it home. Was In A Mood all evening, but I knew it was due to the craving being denied, so I distracted myself with some tv. (World's Dumbest is always good to see the embodiment of "There but for the grace of {insert deity of choice} go I.)

Today was rougher, because most of it was taken up by a meeting for an annual event I run. We got a lot done, but, oh, it's tough being "on" for that long. (I'm the co-chair and designated meeting runner, and also an introvert by nature.) I actually pulled into the parking lot of one of my emergency back-up wine sources on the way home and turned off the car. I didn't get out of the car, though, and I trolled through Facebook on my phone until the crest of the craving broke and I could start the car again and finish returning home. My husband made me a lovely dinner, and I had a pair of peppermint cremes for dessert.

I still feel DENIED, but I am also relieved I made it through the weekend sober. Onwards and upwards. May all of us have a delightful week!

DeannaM77

Wrapping up day 2 (again) I have been suffering with a cold for the last few days and today it definitely hit me the worst. Lot's of coughing, stuffiness, congestion and a major headache. So I didn't have much motivation to do much. Took that as a excuse to relax a little. Hope everyone else enjoyed a better Sunday. Thanks Pretend, safeandsound , Avice and everyone else for your kind words, understanding and support. I appreciate all of you so much and definitely want to stick with this class. And I am going to make the time to get some walks in before it gets to cold.

Alynn

Hope everyone had a great weekend! 3 weeks for me today... Went to church / support life group.. That's going well. Prob going to go to my first AA meeting tomorrow night if I can get a little help with the kiddo.

mystified

Hi gang. I fell off but I'm back on and now on day 6. Had some temptations this past weekend but focusing fully on my commitment to sobriety had me seeing my dinner guests off with the bottles of wine they bought With them.
My youngest took his first steps yesterday and I was overjoyed. All the more precious because I was sober.
Hugs to everyone.

oldskoolraver

Hi All Back on day 2 for me!! gutted that i have given in to alcohol!! I was in the class of July thread but thought I could do this alone but need more support I think. Oh well back to square one again and am defo gonna fight these demons!!

nmd

Going into day 8! This past weekend was only my second completely sober weekend since I came here in March. Feels great to get through it! Heading off to work, have a great diver day all!

safeandsound

Alynn, 3 WEEKS!!!! Woo-hoo!!! Keep up the great work!

Deanyya, so glad you are here and not drinking. Way to snap back!

Yesterday the vicious headache turned into a migraine, so . . . a second day on the couch. All these hours of work will have to be made up for next week.
But guess what? I used to "lose" days at a time when drinking pretty frequently, and I always managed to scrape by. So why not now?

Now I am certain that for the past week, my body has been screaming at me, "GIVE ME A DRINK!" "GIVE ME A DRINK!" "GIVE ME A DRINK . . . OR ELSE!!!" When I didn't respond, it started hitting and kicking me, harder and harder each day. But I am stubborn. And now I'm pissed. Bring it on! I'm still not gonna pick up, you bully.

Just a headache today for now and able to go in to work. Maybe anger isn't the right approach, but it makes me feel stronger. And I honestly don't feel like drinking.

Warm wishes for everyone else who is struggling. Alcoholics tend to be super strong mentally, but we use that for sneaking drinks, manipulation, deceit, etc. All to get alcohol. We can use that same energy to fight for sobriety. (I'm sure I've heard something similar in AA, so credit wherever due).

Neverthought

Yo Class!

How's everyone doing? From of the posts I read, everyone has continued to forge ahead or bounced back quickly....Super!

It was a nice weekend. I took a 1/2 day on Friday and cut the grass. I sort of let it go an extra week just to focus on myself. Normally, I would have taken a 1/2 day and chugged a pint here and there while cutting the grass. I have feelings of euphoria when I drink often and that's a tough feeling to shrug off. When I would drink, I would get all kinds of projects completed (tricky alcohol). I was productive, but then I would end up drinking all day and then next day or two would be wasted. So, I couldn't even call it a wash, because I was damaging myself health-wise.

We went to the mall on Saturday. What is shocking, is that is was my idea. Typically I hate the mall. And then yesterday, I set up an old PS3 and a newer one, and played Minecraft on-line with my son (6 year old). It's all he plays and talks about. He watches mineflix and reads the books and learns all of the tricks. I am a Generation-X'r and I still enjoy gaming, but he's teaching me now.

And yet another trick that alcohol would have on me, would be to let me put off priorities to focus and get immersed in gaming or writing music. When I am sober (like now), I know I have responsibilities and I want to enjoy every moment with my son.

Well, (4) weeks today. In the past (3) real efforts, when I've gotten past 30 days, I've accrued, 63, 85 and 54 respectively. So, It looks likes I have more to look forward to.

Have a nice day and Stay Strong Septemberites.......

safeandsound

Neverthought--congrats on a whole month sober! At this point I can't even imagine. How do you feel? Hope you treat yourself to something special today. Thanks for your posts--they help.

Needinghelp82

Back

Been in June and July class, didn't need august but find myself back

snowbunting

I'm back too Needinghelp, and I remember you :hugs: I know you'll be feeling really disappointed in yourself, but give yourself some credit where it's due - you're back here, and that takes courage, so well done.

I'm really, really struggling not to drink at the moment (made a thread about it). I'm am so ambivalent right now - I feel like its 50/50 whether I drink or not.

Oh, and hi class - sorry for the slightly backwards introduction!

Neverthought

Hi SAS, thank you, you're very kind and now my friend too... :^)

I have my bounce back. I have all my finances and chores up-to-date and completed. Now, I have only the things that are out of my control to worry about, like how is my boy doing in school. Is he behaving? I have a lot of energy. I have trouble harnessing it, but I need to, because I'm married and a father. I want to join a band and sing again.

I've become my extraverted self again, married to an introvert. This creates an unbalanced relationship and can be troublesome at times. I have to work hard at this. My wife enjoys a good book or puzzles (iPad), with some Doritos or a reality show. I want to be in that reality show! I can't, so I'll deal with it.

My wife wanted another child (a girl, 50-50 chance) and now I'm sober and can hear her taking those shots at me. We did try but she thinks I put some kind of kibosh on it?? I'll take our son off of her hands so she can get things done (grading) and also relax because she is a teacher and has the occasional anxiety issues (like anyone). Then she complains that she's left out. she complains that she'll never have daughter to bond with and blames me. I'm sorry for that, but I'll deal with it.

My mind gravitates to this tendency to take on the world. I become aloof when I'm sober and my wife and others have trouble discerning what I'm thinking. But, I'll deal with it.

I've always wanted what is easy!! So, instead of saying to myself...."boo-hoo, I have to work at this stuff?....seriously? Or, how about I'll just drink and let some (most) reality roll off of my shoulders, that sounds like it's a lot easier. I prefer reality, so, I'll deal with it.

Drinking, to me, it's like piling junk (not junk, but life) in a drawer to hide it. Eventually it won't close anymore. Now, you have to remove some things and say "omg" this is where I put this? I missed this! Awe, here's a picture of my boy when he was 3 and our house when we bought it...and so on and so on!

Contrary to my initial comment of having trivial things completed, answering your question made me think! I still have a lot of work to do, so, but I'm not putting it off anymore.

That is how I feel my friend! Thank you for asking how I'm feeling! That felt good!

Thanks SAS, I'll treat myself to reality.

Cecilia44

Hi classmates. Good to hear everyone is staying sober or getting back on the horse if needed. Day 8 here and feeling pretty good today.

Yesterday I didn't sleep well and was SO tired. I also am congested (withdraw symptom?), but it is much better today. I also SLEPT last night at least 6 hours so feeling much better.

And I made it! One WEEK! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I haven't had one week sober in 6 years. Can't believe I am actually doing this! Credit to SR and all the wonderful people here who have welcomed me and made me feel at home. Thank you guys so much!

Needinghelp82, it is good you are back. One slip does not erase all your sober time. You made it 10 weeks, so you proved you can do it. I know you can do it again and have even more time past that sober. Hugs to you.

Neverthought, one month sober. So great to hear! I loved your reference to drinking is like piling stuff in a junk drawer. That seems about right to me. Nothing like drinking it away and away and away until you just can't ignore it anymore. I know the feeling, as I am sure most of us do.

oldskoolraver, good you are back. For me, I noticed the more I stick close to SR and AA, the easier it is. The more support, the better. You can do it! Stick close to all of us and we will help you.

nmd, Day 8! Congrats! Me too!

Have a great sober day all. Nice weather here to, always a plus!

Hugs!

Neverthought

And you'll be there in no time. I try to think of it like a vacation. We planned a trip to Cape May in January. I thought it would never come. Now, it's well passed.

What if I was addicted to vacations. Then it would be tough.....I want a vacation! Man, I could use a vacation. Eh, one vacation won't hurt. 28 days without a vacation, so, take that vacation! Oh, great, I'm out of vacation....ok that's enough.... :^/

The bottom line is time goes on...right?

Let's hear about you? If you want, of course.

Luper

Hi class!

Day 27 for me.

Sounds like everyone is on the right track. Congrats to all of the milestones!! Nice to hear that!

If you slipped up...start again. So glad you are here! One day at a time.

Have a great day everyone!

BlissWithin

hi folks,
Im on day 20, constantly fighting the AV in my head, I will win this.

Neverthought

That's the right attitude!

TryingInTexas

Couple of days into Week Three now. I wish my GF understood more. She fussed at me about drinking too much a couple of years back, but then got in the habit of picking up a couple of bottles of cheap white wine for me whenever she went to the store. I guess that's easier than fussing. Anyway, now we have several bottles of cheap white wine in the fridge that nobody's all that interested in. Wish she'd say: "Hey, way to go, I know this means a lot to you." But I guess it's as easy to ignore the solution as the problem sometimes.