SnoozyQ

Humbug ! I wrote a message hours ago , it obviously didn't send !

You are not weak sweetheart , you are human like the rest of us .

There is no shame and none of us in this July group think any less of you , so keep coming back and lean on us , we will all support you xxx

Don't beat yourself up ok. But it's. NOT better for you to be the slave of the drink ! Play the tape forward , you know this isn't going to end well .

Get out whilst you can xxx

You are SO WORTH IT

SnoozyQ

Oh good grief :-( a tree fell on my new car :-( I'm shattered m at least it wasn't a person .

Dee74

That's just self flagellating nonsense Humbug, Stop it

recovery is a complex thing - it resists a simple pass fall system of value Humbug.

You're a part of this group for as long as you want to be.

I see weakness and addiction as two different and separate things.

You would not be the first person to take their eye off the ball in their recovery. Our addiction is relentless and waits for moments like that.

Stop beating yourself up, learn your lessons from whatever happened, and get right back to where you want to be

D

SnoozyQ

Absolutely Dee well said .

Must be something to do with us being at the 15 month mark . Some of us have had major AV encounters .

I went from saying i will NEVER drink again , to contemplating just having a few !

Thank god that passed , but those thoughts are so real at that point in time .

It just goes to show that this bloody thing is relentless , but we must not give it the power to take us back .

Xxx

resolute50

Humbug,you had a relapse, it happens sometimes.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
The important thing is you came back here.

Dee74

I'm sorry about the car Snoozy but I'm glad everyone is ok

D

NorCaliGal

Hi Humbug -

I can relate to how you're feeing right now. But you're back here posting. Like I did. And the Julyers welcomed me back.

So welcome back. And try again. Because it's worth it. You're worth it.

I'm on my day 9...so you won't be far behind me!

NCG

NorCaliGal

Oh no Snoozy - about your car! So glad no one was hurt!

Leshar

Dear Humbug,

I'm sorry you're hurting so much at the moment. I imagine you feel awful. Please keep posting. This illness is so horrible, but we have to keep trying and love ourselves.

Snoozy, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your car. That's scary.

NorCaliGal

Hi Leshar -

Are things any better today? I'm glad to see you posted something today.

Thinking of you!
NCG

NorCaliGal

Hi Julyers -

Had another PT session today. I really like the therapist. Seeing a little improvement. My grip strength increased from 3 lbs to 5. To compare, my good hand grip is 58 lbs. So I've got a ways to go. But making progress.

Took myself out to lunch to my favorite fast food place, Chick Fil A. Don't have one close to our house but there is one not far from where I go for PT. It was yummy!

Killing time before going to my Grandma's to write out a few checks for her. Not my favorite thing to do. Last visit I got to explain what a surrogate is - my cousin is a single male who is currently in contract with a surrogate so he can have a child. Definitely not a conversation I ever envisioned having with my 92 year old grandma! At the time we thought the first attempt was successful. Unfortunately over the weekend he found out it was not; the second attempt will be in December.

A question - does anyone here journal? Although I love to read, and write, I can't stand to journal. Or, to be more specific, I can't stand to go back and re-read what I've journaled. What I've started to do though is jot down quotes or things that I find meaningful or inspiring.

I'd really love to be able to bookmark posts on the SR website too - does anyone know if you can do this?

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good day!

NCG

Humbug

Thanks all for the support I'm so hangover today I have to go to work soon, I don't even remember what happen yesterday..
I'm just going to take it as a minor setback, and never drink again. Over a year I have been sober and that isn't going to waste even if I did break the sober streak. It prepare me for how to be sober and how to live sober.
I'm not going to be depress or angry myself it happen. I'm just going to move on and enjoy a sober lifestyle.
Sorry to hear about your car SnooyZ

resolute50

Hang out with us more often Humbug.
I hope you feel better so your time at work is not too bad.

Gee Wendy,sorry about your car. I would have posted more but I was on the tablet and well,it;s tough to type on that thing.

I have no Idea how to save post for a journal,Stacy.
There some symbols at the bottom left of each post(like twitter) so maybe there's a way to save them. You could also copy and paste into a word document.

I'll be checking in here a couple times tonight. I watch TV and surf around the net a little each night.

Humbug

Thank you I will hang out more, I had to call in sick to work today I am in no condition to work.

Leshar

Hello All,

This is getting so awful. But just wanted to post, because I don't know what to do. I can't drink, and there's no relief in sight. Is this part of the plan? I don't know. All I do know is that I will just try to keep breathing moment by moment.
Second intranasal ketamine dose tonight, it frightens me. But I have to keep trying and do what was prescibed for me, I suppose. I'm really quite sick, I'm not making it up, I'm not on a pity party, please try and understand all.

Dee74

If you're committed to your current P-doc then yeah all you can do is follow their treatment plan.

Will you see them tonight personally...will you explain how awful you feel?

I can only hope, with you, that things will improve Leshar.

D

Leshar

Thanks, Dee, no, I give myself the dose at home. I will email him as directed tomorrow to report on how I am.
I am just working on blind faith right now, that things will improve. It's what kept me from drinking, perhaps it just will take more time.
Thanks for your support, it means the world to me.

NorCaliGal

Hi Leshar

I don't think you're making anything up! I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time.

We're here for you!

NCG

Leshar

Thanks, NCG. Sometimes I feel so selfish and self absorbed but I do know that I'm not my illness, just the lines get blurred sometimes.
How are you doing? How is your therapy going?
I forgot to say before, that I liked your photo very much!

Leshar

My sister has told me in an email that she cannot be in touch with me anymore, that she cannot help me, and she urged me to go to hospital. I wish it were as simple as that.
I'm torn between understanding her need to protect herself, maintain boundaries, and a deep sadness at the lack of family support.
I feel very alone.