Class of July 2013 Part 15
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Well on to more inspiring news....a friend of mine has his four year sober birthday today. I worked with him years ago, reconnected with him via Facebook. He now works as a recovery counselor himself. Following his journey (and a few others) on Facebook and seeing him enjoying life sober is actually a tool I'm using to keep myself on track.
Yes, I'm Facebook stalking the sober people :-)
NCG
Yes, I'm Facebook stalking the sober people :-)
NCG
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Hi all -
Well today I forced myself to take care of a few random things I'd been procrastinating about. They were just some phone calls for various things. Calls I should have made a couple of months ago. Feels good to have them done. Every day it was nagging at me.
I'm a horrible procrastinator! One of the things I need to work on...
Having lunch with a good friend tomorrow. One I don't get to see much of; she's a massage therapist who works at one of the fancy resort spas in the Napa Valley. So weekends are busy work days for her. On her days off she sees private clients or teaches. Since I'm off work right now we're able to find a time to meet for lunch mid-week. Really looking forward to spending time with her!
Take care Julyers!
NCG
Well today I forced myself to take care of a few random things I'd been procrastinating about. They were just some phone calls for various things. Calls I should have made a couple of months ago. Feels good to have them done. Every day it was nagging at me.
I'm a horrible procrastinator! One of the things I need to work on...
Having lunch with a good friend tomorrow. One I don't get to see much of; she's a massage therapist who works at one of the fancy resort spas in the Napa Valley. So weekends are busy work days for her. On her days off she sees private clients or teaches. Since I'm off work right now we're able to find a time to meet for lunch mid-week. Really looking forward to spending time with her!
Take care Julyers!
NCG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hello all, hi NCG, I'm sorry to read of your troubles with your boyfriend. Stay strong. Personally, I'm of the opinion that there's no such thing as a platonic relationship between men and women unless for a woman her male friend is gay. I dunno, all seems too complicated. But I'm all mixed up about sex, sexuality, so what do I know. Lots of painful things becoming clearer in sobriety and its hard to deal with them.
I've begun my transcranial magnetic stimulation and it's very painful and distressing. I have to stop myself thinking that's its a kind of torture for being a bad, depressed person. I think it's all hocus pocus really, but I'll see it thru. It's very painful. I try to breathe and focus. Weird, I had this mental image of Dee holding my hand and mother Theresa holding my other as the painful pulses are delivered. What's that about? Need some comfort I guess.
I know I have to get out of the way of my thoughts, thinking...it's worse than drinking.
I've begun my transcranial magnetic stimulation and it's very painful and distressing. I have to stop myself thinking that's its a kind of torture for being a bad, depressed person. I think it's all hocus pocus really, but I'll see it thru. It's very painful. I try to breathe and focus. Weird, I had this mental image of Dee holding my hand and mother Theresa holding my other as the painful pulses are delivered. What's that about? Need some comfort I guess.
I know I have to get out of the way of my thoughts, thinking...it's worse than drinking.
Last edited by Leshar; 10-29-2014 at 07:04 AM. Reason: Typo
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
I was there in spirit Leshar 
I feel compelled to mention I think Mother Theresa has me beat for saintliness tho
Seriously, I'm sorry it's so distressing for you - I really really hope it will prove to be for the greater good
D
I feel compelled to mention I think Mother Theresa has me beat for saintliness tho
Seriously, I'm sorry it's so distressing for you - I really really hope it will prove to be for the greater good
D
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
I'm not sure if it's hocus pocus, Leshar, but you must be familiar with it's success rate in your field?
There are many painful things people must suffer for their health, if you can achieve a good result, at least you know it's worth trying.
There are many painful things people must suffer for their health, if you can achieve a good result, at least you know it's worth trying.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Hello all,
I've been doing some rather large repairs and upgrades to my house that would have taken longer than a weekend to complete ,when I was employed.
It's like a double edge sword,glad to have the time,but still have anxiety about getting a new job. Anyways, the weather has been nice and soon we'll be taking a ride to the store for more Halloween candy. Seems the candy bag we had is missing some.
I've been doing some rather large repairs and upgrades to my house that would have taken longer than a weekend to complete ,when I was employed.
It's like a double edge sword,glad to have the time,but still have anxiety about getting a new job. Anyways, the weather has been nice and soon we'll be taking a ride to the store for more Halloween candy. Seems the candy bag we had is missing some.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 196
Hi everyone. Just took a few minutes to catch up. Nori...watch that Ricardo. I agree with Leshar. Truly platonic relationship (on both parts) are rare. Usually, someone wants something. Leshar: I don't know what this magnetic therapy is, but I truly hope it helps you. You have been down for a while. I dont' have any quick suggestions but am truly sending positive vibes your way. Hey Crois and Dee. You two are always the sensible strong ones.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Oh Leshar. I'm sorry your treatments are painful! At least your doctors are taking your depression seriously enough to try lots of different approaches to help you find relief. Love the image of Dee and Mother Theresa holding your hands....
Had a great afternoon with my friend! She really is one of my closest friends, and we both are bummed that her funky work schedule makes it nearly impossible to hang out. So our lunch lasted for hours! Oh, and I discovered another little trick - even though I didn't really need it yesterday - to avoid temptation to order an alcoholic drink when out. Get there first, get the table and order your non-alcoholic drink before others arrive. I already had my iced tea by the time my friend arrived. She drank water btw, so like I said this trick wasn't needed, but I'm keeping it in my back pocket to use down the road!
Bob, I was wondering where you were lately. You'll have to share before and after pics of the upgrades!
And thanks Leshar and NJ Kitty for your support regarding the BF. I have to say I have had tons of platonic friendships with males - starting way back in elementary school. I can only recall a couple of times where things got awkward where it was becoming apparent that the guy may be interested in something more, and I squashed it pretty quickly. So I do believe that a man and a woman can be just friends - but both have to be on the same page about it. If not, then there's gonna be problems. I guess I'm just fortunate that the majority of my male friends and I have been on the same page!
Really, really tired today for some reason. Had a coffee drink late yesterday that may have impacted my sleep, and am just dragging this morning. Have PT later today, than a stop at my Grandma's. Also need to get a gift card for a birthday party this weekend since I'll be in the area of the birthday girl's favorite store when going to PT and Grandma's. May try for an early afternoon nap...sheesh!
Take care all -
NCG
Had a great afternoon with my friend! She really is one of my closest friends, and we both are bummed that her funky work schedule makes it nearly impossible to hang out. So our lunch lasted for hours! Oh, and I discovered another little trick - even though I didn't really need it yesterday - to avoid temptation to order an alcoholic drink when out. Get there first, get the table and order your non-alcoholic drink before others arrive. I already had my iced tea by the time my friend arrived. She drank water btw, so like I said this trick wasn't needed, but I'm keeping it in my back pocket to use down the road!
Bob, I was wondering where you were lately. You'll have to share before and after pics of the upgrades!
And thanks Leshar and NJ Kitty for your support regarding the BF. I have to say I have had tons of platonic friendships with males - starting way back in elementary school. I can only recall a couple of times where things got awkward where it was becoming apparent that the guy may be interested in something more, and I squashed it pretty quickly. So I do believe that a man and a woman can be just friends - but both have to be on the same page about it. If not, then there's gonna be problems. I guess I'm just fortunate that the majority of my male friends and I have been on the same page!
Really, really tired today for some reason. Had a coffee drink late yesterday that may have impacted my sleep, and am just dragging this morning. Have PT later today, than a stop at my Grandma's. Also need to get a gift card for a birthday party this weekend since I'll be in the area of the birthday girl's favorite store when going to PT and Grandma's. May try for an early afternoon nap...sheesh!
Take care all -
NCG
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Watching an old movie from 1986 called Lost Boys with Corey Haim. Must be on because of Halloween.
Had the 2 Coreys and Kiefer Sutherland. It's too bad that Haim died from alcoholism. If you haven't ever read the story of Cory Haim check out his Wiki page....very tragic.
Not much else going on tonight.
Had the 2 Coreys and Kiefer Sutherland. It's too bad that Haim died from alcoholism. If you haven't ever read the story of Cory Haim check out his Wiki page....very tragic.
Not much else going on tonight.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Thanks for all the support, everyone.
I broke down in the treatment room yesterday, the pain was unbearable. Surely it's unreasonable to expect someone to suffer this? I don't know what to trust, to think. I asked to speak to the psych whose research this is, and he just told me to hang in there, but I'm breaking down, I can't live like this, I feel I'm slowly dying. I can't sleep, my head is pounding. Terrible vestigial pain. I'm very very low. I don't think I can take two more weeks of this twice daily assault.
I'm pretty distraught that all my efforts in sobriety seem to have culminated in this.
I broke down in the treatment room yesterday, the pain was unbearable. Surely it's unreasonable to expect someone to suffer this? I don't know what to trust, to think. I asked to speak to the psych whose research this is, and he just told me to hang in there, but I'm breaking down, I can't live like this, I feel I'm slowly dying. I can't sleep, my head is pounding. Terrible vestigial pain. I'm very very low. I don't think I can take two more weeks of this twice daily assault.
I'm pretty distraught that all my efforts in sobriety seem to have culminated in this.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Thanks, Dee.
I suppose I don't want to be perceived as a "difficult patient". The psych told me it would take at least 35 treatments to gauge whether or not there would be a response, but I'm sitting here getting sick at the prospect of today's two sessions. I suppose I worry about what else is there in terms of rx. My psych sent me to this psych because he'd run out of pharmacological options. I'm a brave patient for the most part, stoic, but this is really getting me down, it's frightening. I don't think my distress is being heard by the staff.
I will go today and see how I am, but I have a feeling I will abandon this.
Thanks so much for your unwavering support.
I suppose I don't want to be perceived as a "difficult patient". The psych told me it would take at least 35 treatments to gauge whether or not there would be a response, but I'm sitting here getting sick at the prospect of today's two sessions. I suppose I worry about what else is there in terms of rx. My psych sent me to this psych because he'd run out of pharmacological options. I'm a brave patient for the most part, stoic, but this is really getting me down, it's frightening. I don't think my distress is being heard by the staff.
I will go today and see how I am, but I have a feeling I will abandon this.
Thanks so much for your unwavering support.
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