WhoDey

Bilr ... I'm sorry your retreat didn't work out, but I'm proud of you for having the sense-of-self to know it wasn't for you and then having the courage to not stay the entire weekend.

Since getting sober, I have found a great deal of solace by attending church services on a regular basis, but I am not, by most measures, a "traditional" Christian. From how you described the retreat exerience, I'm sure I would have had a reaction very similar to your own. I do, however, think it important to explore the spiritual component of sobriety, but that can mean different things to different people.

Bilr44

From what I could see, the leaders of this retreat were preying on people's vulnerabilities. Several were going through separation/divorce, one was an active alcoholic, a couple of others had sick kids, etc. I admit I had a drinking problem, but to assume I am vulnerable would be wrong on their part. One thing I'm sure my wife would like for me to change is how cynical I am. Maybe another way to put it is skeptical.

I agree that we all need to explore ourselves with this semi-new found sobriety. I'm not sure spiritual is a good explanation for my own circumstance, but whatever works. I guess my view point is that a higher power didn't get me to start drinking, nor did it get me to stop. My own conscious, with the help of you all here is all that I have to keep me sober. My wife is kind of getting it but is not quite there yet. They had bottles of wine at each table Friday night and my wife commented that maybe I would have been more accepting if I drank a glass of wine with them. She quickly reversed course and said, oh sorry, maybe not.

Okay my last sentence on this retreat. They invited at least one active alcoholic there as well as others who were recovering substance abusers. Why in the world would they be offering alcohol at a venue like this. A leader at my table kept talking about his buddies from the bar, so maybe they don't see drinking as a potential problem.

Cynderino

Just dropping by real quick to check in. My divorce papers were filed today and I am feeling down about that. I wont drink over it. I just want to wallow in the depression right now. Pathetic, I know.

QOTD - Tool, System of a Down, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Lana Del Ray - my tastes are all over the place minus country. Never caught that bug...

DoubleDragons

(((((((Cynderino)))))))). It has to be so tough for you right now. But of course, as you know, drinking over it will only make you feel worse.

Bilr, I now see that I was a problem drinker for quite some time, but I honestly never realized the degree of a problem I had until I quit and started educating myself about alcoholism. I think there are tons of people like the former me out there, not realizing how bad their alcohol problem really is until something is a wake-up call for them. Very few people encourage other people not to drink, even the people who should be encouraged to get sober. I sometimes wish people would have called me out on my issues with drinking alcohol. Not that it is their responsibility, but overall I do hope society changes its general perceptions of alcohol drinking. I hope it becomes less of a mainstream thing.

Dee74

I'm sorry Cynderino - but I hope this is the start of a new chapter for you

DD there's so many different meds and approaches out there today I really think the best thing is to discuss it with your doctor and hopefully, between the two of you, you can find whatever treatment might be right for you.

WhoDey

I hear you, but I don't think it will change. If alcohol was a new drug, it would never be approved. But it's not a new drug.

I was annoyed the other day when a local news team was joking about excessive alcohol consumption immediately after a story where max levels of consumption was discussed (1-2 drinks/day). I doubt they would joke about heroin or even tobacco.

I'm learning to not worry about others sense of moderation. I don't drink so what others think or believe doesn't apply to me.

fishoutawatta

Cynderino, I remember that day myself (although it was about 35 years ago). I don't remember, however, what I did . . . other than look forward to a better future. My heart goes out to you.

Fishy

trudgingagain

Wow, Cyn, hope you take care of yourself today...maybe a bubble bath. music...or a massage! Billr....I can really identify with your feelings about the retreat....think I would have felt the same way, and left. Weird that they had wine on the table....but maybe for "normies"? I do believe that there is "something" out there....and I definitely believe in reincarnation....much more spiritual than religious for me....DD...it wasn't until I quit drinking (the first time) that people came "out of the woodwork" to talk to me about my drinking.....and I thought I was so smart and nobody knew....ha!

JL2013

Thinking of you CYNDER-,
Things will get better. Sorry you feeling down.

Bilr44

Cynderino,

I know the feeling somewhat as my wife and I separated temporarily back in 2010. I'm sure that this is very difficult but you will be able to manage this much better while sober. Only you know if this is the right thing to do so I feel for you.

Bilr44

WhoDey,

It's funny how alcohol is so accepted and is the social thing to do. While I don't think advertisements should be banned, I think the playing field should be more level. Maybe commercials sponsored by the companies showing some of the negative aspects of alcohol.

Bilr44

A sobering thing that I read is the younger generation using energy drinks, five hour energy, etc., and then using alcohol at night to "come down" from the caffeine. Experts believe this, and the general glorification of alcohol in pop songs and advertising, will lead to an increase in alcoholism. With the advent of craft beers, drinking one beer now can be the equivalent of three normal beers. Heck, some of them are as strong or stronger than wine. That's why a lot are called sipping beers but a lot of people drink these like normal beers. Another sad thing is all the flavored vodkas which are obviously being marketed towards women. I would not be surprised if the big distillers and breweries are not already gearing themselves up for marijuana production/distribution. It makes sense since they already have their lobbyists in Washington.

Driver1

Love your bands; SOAD is back together!

Cyn, you are thoughtful and kind; qualities I'm sure brought to bear in your decision to break. Im guessing great new opportunities abound for you, yet divorce still sucks...wallow away if you choose...not pathetic...we're here for you.

Nice job keepin it clean.

SoberMarathon

It seems the society I live in is one that in one way or another revolves around alcohol. This is especially true in the work world: going for drinks, going for dinner with drinks, going for a drink after dinner, it never ends. For most people this mentality and behavior doesn't pose much of a problem. For me, not a great recipe for success as recent times have demonstrated!

SoberMarathon

Day 10, again. Fog has lifted and I'm back in the game. Not heading down that road again....blah, as my 2yr old would say!

Bilr44

SM,

I think you need to break that work = drinking cycle. Unfortunately if you believe all the advertising, everyone is drinking and having a great time. Don't take this the wrong way but this post sounds like your AV talking. I think the best thing is to not even think about what others are doing. This is about you and your recovery.

Cynderino

Thanks, Driver!

I am hoping SOAD will tour again soon. I am in KC and they came as close as Chicago last year. Had tickets and everything but had to cancel. Of course the concert was on the first day of school for my kids. Couldn't miss that!

Cynderino

Thank you all for the kind words and virtual hugs. I appreciate it so much.

Driver1

Rats!

So my experiment with flossing was only a moderate success! No new pockets so I guess no news is good news, but, honestly, I was hoping for a "shut the front door!" kind of bill of health.

Oh well, I dig the everyday deal so I'll stick with it.

Just for the record guys, my teeth and gums have always been in nice health, I was just having fun with oral hygiene. Wanted to see if everyday vs 2 or 3 times a week made a difference...moderate...whatever....babies!!!!

Hope everybody is good!

Bilr44

Was told I needed to floss as well. I bought a water pick which helps, but nothing is better than old fashion flossing. I hope that my next dentist visit is less painful.

Anyone else having sleeping issues. I am having a harder time than usual falling asleep. I've cut back caffeine after 12:00 pm hoping that will help today. I'm also eating a lot less sugar than early sobriety. Maybe I just need as much sleep as I think and I am done catching up from the lack of quality sleep while drinking.