Bilr44

QOTD: Perseverance, Nuff said.

DoubleDragons

QOTD: Look for the good in all things/situations and you will find it.

DoubleDragons

Need advice, guys. My parents are coming for a visit this weekend. They drink. That is a fact. I would serve alcohol to other drinkers in my house. Do I buy wine in for my parents? They are chardonnay drinkers which I always preferred red wine. I am not at all tempted to drink (especially with my mom and her problem). I am not one that likes to sit in judgment of anyone and of course, I would ask them to leave if my mom were to get out of control drunk. When we visit them at their home, they drink in front of us and the kids.

DoubleDragons

Congratulations on 100 days, Whodey and four months, Driver!!!!

Bilr44

DD, That is a tough one. My house,my rules probably only applies to kids. In a way this is enabling them but it is still very tricky. Do they expect that you will have alcohol even though you didn't drink during the holidays? What would their reaction be if you had nothing to offer them? Your sobriety should still come first though. Starting a new sober tradition is not a bad thing.

WhoDey

DD ... If you won't be tempted, I would just buy some wine to have on hand for them. What would you do for other guests, parties, etc.?

QOTD: Advice to a newborn? The louder you cry, the faster dad will come to your aid.

trudgingagain

DD...why don't you let them bring their own wine? Is the QOTD about newborns? I read the book by Ferber....about babies crying and trying to get them to sleep....hard to do, but it worked! Hoping I can make it through another day with lawyers, CPAs, etc. etc.

LittleSparrow

WD and Driver, congrats on your time! Keep it up!

Advice to a newborn? Get all the sleep while you can. Soon enough, you'll be wishing you had all that time to sleep.

My husband was out of town this week so I was busy keeping up with everything here. He's back and things are right again.

I have to admit that I was thinking about going back to drinking. I was thought maybe I was just crazy for thinking I had a problem with alcohol, like maybe I'm just making too big a deal out of it. But then I thought about HALT and realized that I was lonely and tired with my husband out of town. Also, I thought about how I felt after drinking (headache and worse). I'm NOT making too big a deal out of it, and I need to stay sober. I need to stick closer to SR. That AV is so tricky.

I'm going out tonight to catch up with an old neighbor who is in my city for work. I don't plan on drinking and I don't think she'll say anything about it, but I'm not really looking forward to being in a bar environment.

LittleSparrow

DD, I think Trudging is right, letting them know that they can bring wine if they'd like is a good idea. That way, it's not on you. For me, I know I'm not comfortable buying alcohol for other people because I don't want anything "extra" to land in my shopping cart

trudgingagain

LS....I have soooooo thought about drinking lately....I think angry and tired apply to me....minute by minute I am making it though.....

Bilr44

I decided to unfreeze my gym membership today and was on the elliptical for about an hour. I'm meeting with a personal trainer on Monday to set up a cross training program and my goal is to drop about 10-15 pounds or two waists sizes. It felt good to go today but I will be sore tomorrow.

I'm starting to paint our living room today which is something that I don't enjoy much. Maybe after seeing some progress I will be into it more. I'm going to talk my daughter into helping tomorrow because she has more patience than me.

I forgot to say that I've pretty much given up all artificial sweeteners. I'm even drinking homemade iced tea and Yerba Mate straight. You get used to it and I am feeling like I have more energy by cutting that out. I also don't like the diuretic properties of these sweeteners when I try and sleep at night.

WhoDey

I ran across this article in USAToday that ties into our discussion of the intersection of alcohol and culture. Sad to read, but something with which we can relate. We are blessed to be sober.

Vodka to blame for high death risk in Russian men

Bilr44

Sobering statistics! Apparently alcoholism is more accepted for men in that part of the world. I've read other articles where homemade vodkas are killing a lot of poor people who can't afford the good stuff over there.

Dee74

I don't have alcohol in my house period DD. I realise that's not an approach for everyone, but I certainly wouldn't be buying any for anyone else - especially given the troubles you've had with them and their alcohol-related behaviour in the past.

congrats whodey and driver

trudging...is there any way you could make things easier on yourself right now?

Driver1

I'd tell newborns that Lima Beans suck.

just kidding...

....I'll let em figure it out for themselves.

DD, maybe think long term. Your parents probably are going to visit on a somewhat regular baisis...so how do you want to deal with this from here on out?

Driver1

Hoping your light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger trudging...hang in there...we are here for you.

Way to be Bilr!

Nice responses to QOTD everyone (thanks for the laugh WhoDey!).

Great weekend all!

Bilr44

I would also add, let's say it is 30 years from now and we are visiting our children's house. Let's also assume that they know we have a drinking problem. Do we want to put them in the position to decide if they should have alcohol for us? Sure we could bring our own and I wouldn't expect them stop us from drinking it.

Dee brings up a good point. The children have seen your mom under the influence so how do they feel knowing you are providing this for her? As I said, this is a very difficult situation and it is real easy for us to play armchair quarterback. Whatever you decide to do won't be right from someone's standpoint. Whatever you decide to do, we are always here for your support.

SoberMarathon

14 days, woohoo! It's not easy to be positive after so many failures but what other choice do I have? I'm not ready or willing to throw in the towel and go back to a drinkers life. Drinking dreams are vivid these nights and AV is active at times. Still, I'm reminded of the pain and the physical implosion that alcohol provokes in me and that keeps me at bay. This will be a long journey but I'm a marathon runner and am not afraid of the challenge.

Keep up the great work folks.

Driver1

Nicely done LittleS...thanks for sharing...noise to see how you worked it out.

Bilr44

SM, the good news is that you've been sober way more many days thank drunk the last 6 months. Everyone's battle takes a different path and in the long run you will get there. You marathon training will help with perseverance part. Do you really want to feel like on those mornings after a weekend binge.