kadidee

Johnny, so glad to 'see' you and that you're feeling better. Wow on the negotiating over the mattress--I'm so bad at that kind of thing. And woo-hoo Florida trip! You sound really good.

w2r, is that you skipping around in a bunny suit as you head to bed?

Elseware, way to go on day 40! Is it just me or is time passing by really quickly?

I have adjusted my sobriety attitude to a (hopefully) calmer, more take it as it comes notch. I'm not going to try to fix everything right now (i.e., unresolved issues over marriage). I keep meditating on that quote about forgiveness that Elseware posted..."forgiveness comes about when you stop trying to make it be different than what it was."

It dawned on me tonight that back in March/April I felt so out of control with the drinking and was desperate to just not drink for one night because I was exhausted from it all, but I couldn't even do that. And now I can enjoy nights sober. That brings a lot of peace of mind.

advbike

Way to go w2r! Sleeping is so great, isn't it? It took me at least 30 days to return to sound sleep this time. Way longer than it used to.

I'm just past 45 days now and feeling great. I just returned from a trip to the Midwest to visit family friends for a week. It was very relaxing all around and I even read a great book on how World War 1 started. These friends drink some wine at dinner but it didn't bother me, I believe because I'm firmly committed this time around. And they handle it fine and respect my wish not to drink. Can't say as I really even had a craving or a thought about it. In fact last night they were sampling some Italian lemon flavored liquor after dinner and I was so intrigued that I checked out the bottle - but notably I did NOT take a whiff or anything stupid like that. Glad they enjoyed it - I had another scoop of gelato, finished my book and went to bed.

Best wishes to all of you - this site has made all the difference for me this time around.

Viperidae

My Obsessive thinking is starting to kick in over the mattress purchase. I read online that this particular one is prone to failure after a short while. Icomfort has not been out long and real memory foam mattresses cost 4 grand, no joke. So it is hard to get an unbiased review, but the Amazon reviews are awful. Anywho, I can get a refund before I take custody of it and since I'm picking it up...

I need to just do a little more checking, or totally take the chance. Dunno, it did seem like the one in a big furniture store was REALLY soft, the one at sleepys was nice and firm, same model, different name and different construction at Sleepys has better materials according to them. I like a super firm mattress, I've come to that conclusion. CT Matress that I mentioned earlier is owned by a famous mattress guy in the area(he got taken out by sleepys years ago), and he makes his own mattress with CT company with a firm that is really nice and comes with a golden warranty and 120 day cash back no fees. I might want that. This is so hard, I don't have money to blow.

The key to negotiations on retail goods is to just plain not give a crap. Walking out the door is really easy when you hold the cash and someone else wants to make a sale. Walking out is also a very powerful weapon. I walked out on a car dealer one time and there was no way they were going to let me go. I got the price I wanted. I was told at Raymour and Flanigan that I'm 'sales resistant.' Haha, I guess so. That suckah did not make a sale.

See if you can find anything...It's the Icomfort Insight that I paid for but did not get yet, the lowest in their line, Sleepys calls it Cool Elegance Firm, see if you find anything....their models over 2k get nice reviews :/

Viperidae

But no obsessive thoughts on Florida, should be very good.

foolsgold66

Johnny, I mean this in the best possible way. I would be drunk off my ass if I obsessed that much over a mattress purchase. Online reviews are impossible anymore, as a ton of them both ways are fake, or 'seeds' as sme call them.

The deal you described where you kept getting the price knocked down over and over and over sounded too good to be too true, which translates to my cynical mind as an unload at cost of goods that won't move due to general dissatisfaction. I tend to focus my initial selection on goods that are initially priced about 3/4 the way up the list price scale from cheap to expensive, and then negotiate from there. This has seldom failed me. I may sometimes pay a little too much, but I seldom end up with a crap product that way...

BalinChane

Congrats to all my fellow Class of August 2013 members. Day 51 for me and it's getting easier. Next I need to cut back on the De Nobili cigars. One vice at a time.

EternalQ

Speaking for myself, I obsessed a lot about all sorts of things when I first quit drinking.

I had so much intensity that I used alcohol to damp down. It took awhile for me to get some balance.

Still working on it! Lol

Viperidae

Obsessing about things like this is exactly what leads me to drink, and I would normally do it whenever I spend a lot of money. I've seen what Sleepys is trying to dump out of their stores and this product is not one of them. And the well reputed smaller stores do carry this line and say it's great. All online reviews are posted by fakes now, it's horrible. Accept amazon where you usually get a ton of honest ones, and they look terrible on there. I am going to do what you said and maybe spend a bit more to get something rock solid or go with a basic inexpensive alternative for the time being.

And the intensity is waaaayy too much. It has been for years. People are scared of me and thats not cool, just because of the crazy look in my eyes. I can't even imagine having balance.

Every time I got a new computer or camera or anything, it would site on my desk in the box until I got blitzed and opened it. Even though it would be like a Mac Book that I knew was amazing. I'm not getting drunk about this deal.

OK, off to deal with things.

kadidee

Hi there BalinChane! Good to see you in the August class.

foolsgold66

I knew you'd take it the right way Johnny. A guy in AA or rehab told me about this rule he had one time. If he was thinking about or obsessing about anything for more than ten minutes straight, he knew he was effed up and he needed to move on and try to come back to it later more rationally.

I'm an 'iterative' guy myself, at least when sober. If I can't solve a damn problem now, and it doesn't absolutely HAVE to be acted on now, I stick a pin into it, go to the next thing and come back to it later.

And I mean I LITERALLY take a note and set it aside. I don't pin 'em to a board, but keep 'em in a 'later' stack' that I go through quickly weekly....

Elseware

Boy, this is a good subject! I am world class in obsession. Only I call it worrying. I worry every little detail until I'm exhausted. And it is exhausting. I drive other people crazy sometimes because I can't keep from going to the worst case scenario. I do reckless things and then worry about it. I'm afraid much of the time. I wish so much I could just be a "middle" kind of person. You know, easy going...... I don't expect that's going to happen any time soon, but I have learned to cope with it by drinking and taking drugs. This worrying and obsessing is something that is a challenge for me now. It's very hard for me in recovery. For example. Today I went for a nice brisk walk. It felt great. I couldn't just leave it at that. I began to think about training for a race called the "Dirty Half". I used to run it every year. But at my age it's very hard in the knees and hips and all. And then there's my plantar fasciitis..... So that's where the opiates join in. I'll probably need them. I start worrying and fretting about "OMG. How will I ever do this?". OMG! I'm so old and broken down! OMG! What am I gonna do? Oh, wurra, wurra! And it just goes on. I'm trying to change this behavior because I see it for the crap it really is. It undermines me. I like that idea of writing it down on a piece of paper and then coming back to it later when the emotion part has died down a little. I'm going to try that.

Now that being said, I did have a very nice, long walk. I got buzzed by a great horned owl! I love the wildlife around here. I am for sure getting my strength back and it feels great. My spirits are good, too. Maybe I could do the dirty half marathon (a trail run) but just walk it? No shame in that and I think it would be fun to train for it. Well, I'll WORRY about it later. Hope you're all doing well, Pals.

kadidee

It sounds so pretty and peaceful where you live, Elseware. Why do they call it a 'dirty' half marathon?

Elseware

Because it's a trail run in the early summer and it's dry and dusty. Sometimes there's mudholes. When you're done you're covered in dirt and laughing. So its "The Dirty Half"! It's really fun.

SeanMc

Morning to you fine folks. I'm almost getting to like this sobriety!

Elseware

I think sobriety is beginning to like you, too, Sean. You're shining bright lately

Viperidae

Just wrote a good post and the laptop died. Stressful day.

Ok, going to call 1800 Sleepys and get a refund on the mattress. This will have to wait till later. I can't stress on it now. I just hope those morons get the credit back on the card fairly fast.

Leaving for Florida in 11 days. My father as usual changed his mind, this time about renting the car after my friend pulled the trigger on an expensive trip. I spent the afternoon making calls and doing research under stress, trying to use a debit card for the car rental and trying to figure out bus routes and taxis to get from disney to the island. Father's fear is that since he is co-signer on my credit card that if something happens with the rental car that he will be held liable. Incredibly unlikely and utterly ridiculous. I'm signing the rental agreement. Also I've planned on full insurance through Budget Rentacar with 2 Million Dollar liability coverage and total coverage etc.

Then after I sweat all afternoon with no easy solution in sight, he said, 'ok pay with the credit card.' My sister is livid with him.

BUT no drinky drinky. I didn't really even get mad. I was prepared to take the bus and taxis the whole time, since he offered to pay for that instead of the rental car. Actually a reasonable solution, but one that would have created a huge pain in the butt.

So as long as Sleepy's gets that credit back fairly soon i'll have no worries. I am tired though....

The smaller mattress store CT Mattress is offering 120 days money back, no fees at all. That makes more sense than this Sleepy's 22 days exchange with $100 stocking fee crap. Maybe spend more but with total piece of mind. I'll call sleepy's in the morning in visit CT Mattress to pick something out. But by it in 3 weeks.

To be honest a new $200 topper and washing my sheets, and some new pillows would probably get me through a year!!!

Viperidae

BTW, did I mentioned the massive wildlife refuge on Sanibel Island is CLOSED because of this govt shutdown? Totally uncool if that is not opened by the 25th of October. I was so looking forward to that. I called the hotel to ask about taxi and bike transport around and was informed of the closing. The hotel is not too happy about it, they sounded nervous.

advbike

Sounds awesome Elsewhere! I used to trail run a lot but the knees started giving me problems from serious downhill abuse so I had to give it up. Hardest thing I ever did, but I got back into mountain biking to make up for it.

advbike

Way to go Sean! Happy Friday!

bblackbirdflyy

Guys, I'm struggling. Ive been drinking again. I'm Sorry if i bring anyone down, I am just so upset and stuck. I posted on the newcomers thread but no one really knows me there, no one respondedvin 15 minutes Idk I just need a little help from my friends.