Boy, this is a good subject! I am world class in obsession. Only I call it worrying. I worry every little detail until I'm exhausted. And it is exhausting. I drive other people crazy sometimes because I can't keep from going to the worst case scenario. I do reckless things and then worry about it. I'm afraid much of the time. I wish so much I could just be a "middle" kind of person. You know, easy going...... I don't expect that's going to happen any time soon, but I have learned to cope with it by drinking and taking drugs. This worrying and obsessing is something that is a challenge for me now. It's very hard for me in recovery. For example. Today I went for a nice brisk walk. It felt great. I couldn't just leave it at that. I began to think about training for a race called the "Dirty Half". I used to run it every year. But at my age it's very hard in the knees and hips and all. And then there's my plantar fasciitis..... So that's where the opiates join in. I'll probably need them. I start worrying and fretting about "OMG. How will I ever do this?". OMG! I'm so old and broken down! OMG! What am I gonna do? Oh, wurra, wurra! And it just goes on. I'm trying to change this behavior because I see it for the crap it really is. It undermines me. I like that idea of writing it down on a piece of paper and then coming back to it later when the emotion part has died down a little. I'm going to try that.
Now that being said, I did have a very nice, long walk. I got buzzed by a great horned owl! I love the wildlife around here. I am for sure getting my strength back and it feels great. My spirits are good, too. Maybe I could do the dirty half marathon (a trail run) but just walk it? No shame in that and I think it would be fun to train for it. Well, I'll WORRY about it later. Hope you're all doing well, Pals.