Class of March 2013 Part 13
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
Marcher - 
7 Happy birthday! Good for you for keeping your thoughts about drinking just that, thoughts. 
Shoes & Sassy - My therapist says that mood drives though more than thought drives mood. I'm not sure. I know I can accidentally think my way into a hole that ruins my mood, but I'm not as easily able to think my way out. Of course, when I'm happy, my thoughts don't typically go there. So maybe he's right? Anyway, being low is really awful and it does make me want to drink to escape. I guess I've gotta stop throwing mind gutter-balls.
My coffee with the sponsors went well. The new one will be my "big book step study" sponsor and my old "temporary" sponsor seems to want to stay on now as my "regular" sponsor. I guess that the two of them have seen that work before. It was really nice to have coffee with them. I really feel like I click with my BB sponsor, so hopefully that'll all go well, and it's nice to know that if one is not around if something in my brain explodes and I need help, that I have two people that I can call. So feeling really positive actually.
My BFF through me for a loop last night. Between meetings and doctors appointments and my son's birthday and volunteering at the school, I have been strapped for time and haven't really had much time to touch base with her. She lives too far away to get together regularly, so we usually chat on the phone. She's a very active drinker with an active alcoholic mom and an AA recovered alcoholic dad (divorced). Anyway, she said she feared I "had 'gone program' and decided to cut ties" with her. I had been dodging her a little bit, just because our phone conversations always seem to revolve around her pity party, but it was more that not wallowing in the muck myself, it didn't seem that attractive to pick up the phone and wallow in hers, especially given how little free time I have. Wasn't sure how to respond other than with the truth, I have been talking her, I've just been busy and I didn't even know one was supposed to "cut ties" when they "go program." I was frankly a little insulted, but that's her head game, not mine. Just had to vent that.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone that it applies to tomorrow!
7 Happy birthday! Good for you for keeping your thoughts about drinking just that, thoughts. Shoes & Sassy - My therapist says that mood drives though more than thought drives mood. I'm not sure. I know I can accidentally think my way into a hole that ruins my mood, but I'm not as easily able to think my way out. Of course, when I'm happy, my thoughts don't typically go there. So maybe he's right? Anyway, being low is really awful and it does make me want to drink to escape. I guess I've gotta stop throwing mind gutter-balls.
My coffee with the sponsors went well. The new one will be my "big book step study" sponsor and my old "temporary" sponsor seems to want to stay on now as my "regular" sponsor. I guess that the two of them have seen that work before. It was really nice to have coffee with them. I really feel like I click with my BB sponsor, so hopefully that'll all go well, and it's nice to know that if one is not around if something in my brain explodes and I need help, that I have two people that I can call. So feeling really positive actually.
My BFF through me for a loop last night. Between meetings and doctors appointments and my son's birthday and volunteering at the school, I have been strapped for time and haven't really had much time to touch base with her. She lives too far away to get together regularly, so we usually chat on the phone. She's a very active drinker with an active alcoholic mom and an AA recovered alcoholic dad (divorced). Anyway, she said she feared I "had 'gone program' and decided to cut ties" with her. I had been dodging her a little bit, just because our phone conversations always seem to revolve around her pity party, but it was more that not wallowing in the muck myself, it didn't seem that attractive to pick up the phone and wallow in hers, especially given how little free time I have. Wasn't sure how to respond other than with the truth, I have been talking her, I've just been busy and I didn't even know one was supposed to "cut ties" when they "go program." I was frankly a little insulted, but that's her head game, not mine. Just had to vent that.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone that it applies to tomorrow!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hello, all you guys. I have been below low for a couple of days. I've been pessimistic, overly sensitive, irritable, depressed, sad, all full of bad feelings. I can't find happy. Not even content. I have remained clean and sober, but for what? that is what I find myself thinking. I need some positive thoughts, something for a lift. Remind me why we are doing this, please. Thank you, Joy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Don't confuse early recovery for sobriety or recovery joygirl
Early recovery is rough - but none of us would stick with it longterm, if this was a good as it gets
it will get better - have patience - and lean on the support you have here
D
Early recovery is rough - but none of us would stick with it longterm, if this was a good as it gets
it will get better - have patience - and lean on the support you have here
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Hang in there, Joygirl!
Remember, the progress in recovery is not linear... I keep wishing it was, but it is not... we have good days and bad days, and over time, it gets better.
My experience is based on not only this recovery, but my first time through, in 1999, and I got a lot of insight and relief from working the steps and attending 12 step meetings: AA, NA, and CA. In fact, I use a lot of what I learned the first time around to help me this time. And this recovery is so much "better" in that I did not have to quit my job to get clean and sober... I just had to modify my schedule. And physically, this recovery was so much harsher. Go figure... just a question: Are you abstaining from alcohol and marijuana, as well as your pain pills? I find my recovery goes better when I abstain from all mind and mood altering substances, except for my prescribed medication (NOT painpills... I told my PCP I am now in recovery).
Although I never had trouble controlling alcohol consumption, alcohol consumption triggered use of other drugs, so my recovery includes staying sober as well, hence you will see my references to staying "clean and sober." Disclaimer: this is my experience and my opinion only, so take what you want, and leave the rest."
My experience is based on not only this recovery, but my first time through, in 1999, and I got a lot of insight and relief from working the steps and attending 12 step meetings: AA, NA, and CA. In fact, I use a lot of what I learned the first time around to help me this time. And this recovery is so much "better" in that I did not have to quit my job to get clean and sober... I just had to modify my schedule. And physically, this recovery was so much harsher. Go figure... just a question: Are you abstaining from alcohol and marijuana, as well as your pain pills? I find my recovery goes better when I abstain from all mind and mood altering substances, except for my prescribed medication (NOT painpills... I told my PCP I am now in recovery).
Although I never had trouble controlling alcohol consumption, alcohol consumption triggered use of other drugs, so my recovery includes staying sober as well, hence you will see my references to staying "clean and sober." Disclaimer: this is my experience and my opinion only, so take what you want, and leave the rest."
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
JoyGirl, I know how rough it can be to feel so low. I've had some major depressive episodes and would always feel hopeless about it ever getting better. The good news for you is that after you get through the early times in staying sober, it does get better. Listen to Dee -- he has much great experience and tells it like it is. Try getting in some physical exercise if you possibly can -- that will get the happy endorphins going again. Hang in there!
Coffee, glad the meeting with your sponsors went well. As for your BFF, remember that the most important thing is your sobriety and you don't want to do anything to endanger that.
Hugs,
Sass
Coffee, glad the meeting with your sponsors went well. As for your BFF, remember that the most important thing is your sobriety and you don't want to do anything to endanger that.
Hugs,
Sass
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Happy Mothers day too to all the mums and moms
Happy Belated Birthday, Marcher!! You gave yourself the very best present by staying sober.
Joygirl, it sounds like you may be suffering from PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms). I haven't spent too much time studying about PAWS but I believe the symptoms are more emotional than physical. I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it. I went through it myself at about the 2 month mark and it caused me to relapse.
This is why you're doing it...
"So, Thursday night my 15 yr old son had a concert at school. During the jazz band's show, while they were playing Van Morrison's Moondance, he put on sunshades, stood up, and did an improv sax solo! That boy is sooo I was so proud and when he got a huge applause, I thought I would burst!
That was my first sober school concert and it was fantastic!"
He sounds like an amazing kid and he deserves a sober mom - and you deserve more moments in your life like the one you shared with us above -- sober and present.
Coffee, lucky you to have 2 sponsors! Sounds like it's going to work out very nicely.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by joygirl
I need some positive thoughts, something for a lift.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - opening - YouTube
Austin says, "Oh, behave (that means don't drink
)!"
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Location: Australia
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The recovery follies forum is chock full of laughs to suit every taste
Recovery Follies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Recovery Follies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good afternoon all, yeah it's afternoon in the future and I'm having a lazy day.
Joygirl sweetie: we are doing this because it's worth getting ourselves back and we feel so much better. Horrible bad feelings are just that and everyone has them. Yesterday when I came so close to drinking I regarded it as a failure as if I had drunk when I hadn't. I went to bed soo disappointed in myself and feeling so bad -- about thoughts. How dumb was that.
Here's a challenge for you: take one of your bad thoughts and turn it around today. Just one. Hugs.
Joygirl sweetie: we are doing this because it's worth getting ourselves back and we feel so much better. Horrible bad feelings are just that and everyone has them. Yesterday when I came so close to drinking I regarded it as a failure as if I had drunk when I hadn't. I went to bed soo disappointed in myself and feeling so bad -- about thoughts. How dumb was that.
Here's a challenge for you: take one of your bad thoughts and turn it around today. Just one. Hugs.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Meso, Hahaha! Yes, I am behaving!
Thank you Marcher too. I guess I have to have more experience with feeling things. I really didn't realize how long and hard recovery would be. It is totally worth it, but dang! I wish sometimes I could just sleep through this part.
As Dee has said, and I know a lot of people on here have quoted him, take drugs/alcohol off the table. I have done that. I just have to find things to put on the table.
Thanks to you all!
Thank you Marcher too. I guess I have to have more experience with feeling things. I really didn't realize how long and hard recovery would be. It is totally worth it, but dang! I wish sometimes I could just sleep through this part.
As Dee has said, and I know a lot of people on here have quoted him, take drugs/alcohol off the table. I have done that. I just have to find things to put on the table.
Thanks to you all!
New and learning
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 85
Happy belated birthday Marcher! I'm a May baby too! 
7
And Joy, sorry to hear about the struggles but "this too shall pass". That's what I keep saying anyway!
Yesterday was Day 75 for me, yay!
I echo whoever said that we should stay clear of all mind-altering substances, whether it was out DOC or not because cross-addiction is highly probable for us. At least that's what they told me in rehab.
Keep on the mend Sass!
Happy Mom's Day to all you great Moms and Mums (on the other side of the pond.)
You all are doing GREAT things being sober!
7And Joy, sorry to hear about the struggles but "this too shall pass". That's what I keep saying anyway!
Yesterday was Day 75 for me, yay!
I echo whoever said that we should stay clear of all mind-altering substances, whether it was out DOC or not because cross-addiction is highly probable for us. At least that's what they told me in rehab.
Keep on the mend Sass!
Happy Mom's Day to all you great Moms and Mums (on the other side of the pond.)
You all are doing GREAT things being sober!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by Dee74
Not sure where you got that idea Sas? I'm here daily usually
I sometimes play music on a Sunday but not this weekend
D
I sometimes play music on a Sunday but not this weekend
D
S
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Morning all (or whenever!)
Coffee, I am glad things went well with your BB sponsor, as your first sponsor is wanting to hang around, I would say it was definitely her issues that had her backing off
You are on the nail about your friend, I can't spend too much time with negative people at the moment. As you sober up, you will become more aware of other people's natures and your relationship to them may need to change. As self pitying drunks you were a match, now, i feel you need to decide the future direction of the relationship. BFFs unfortunately aren't always.
I remember reading a piece once about the people who come into our lives at various points. Some are there for a short while, but have a lasting effect, some are there for the duration of a specific situation and some of them take root.
To me, Dee and his words have had a brief but lasting effect. Some of you guys are here now, helping me through early recovery towards lasting sobriety. Some may well become part of the rest of my life. Friendships that may seem lasting, may be dependent on one aspect of our lives more than another, for example shared motherhood, but would not survive a move away. Others may be casual and occasional, but are deep and affecting.
Joygirl, welcome to life sweetie. It's not recovery, it's not sobriety, it is the up and down moods of life. If you were feeling happy and contented for a week would you worry, this too will pass.
1day, I am glad you are finding this time easier emotionally and mentally. I believe the mindset we are in is such a strong force to utilise.
Duffster wonderful and timely reminder of the positives of sobriety, and the dangers of complacency.
Marcher, don't feel bad about thinking of drinking, feel fantastic for not giving in to temptation. Remember, you are one day older and wiser now
NMS congrats on 75 days. As for May babies, my family is littered with them, it is one expensive month for me!
Sass there is only so long we will allow the anaesthetic as an excuse, from now on it is either a 'blonde moment' or in my case a 'senior moment'!
Coffee, I am glad things went well with your BB sponsor, as your first sponsor is wanting to hang around, I would say it was definitely her issues that had her backing off
You are on the nail about your friend, I can't spend too much time with negative people at the moment. As you sober up, you will become more aware of other people's natures and your relationship to them may need to change. As self pitying drunks you were a match, now, i feel you need to decide the future direction of the relationship. BFFs unfortunately aren't always.
I remember reading a piece once about the people who come into our lives at various points. Some are there for a short while, but have a lasting effect, some are there for the duration of a specific situation and some of them take root.
To me, Dee and his words have had a brief but lasting effect. Some of you guys are here now, helping me through early recovery towards lasting sobriety. Some may well become part of the rest of my life. Friendships that may seem lasting, may be dependent on one aspect of our lives more than another, for example shared motherhood, but would not survive a move away. Others may be casual and occasional, but are deep and affecting.
Joygirl, welcome to life sweetie. It's not recovery, it's not sobriety, it is the up and down moods of life. If you were feeling happy and contented for a week would you worry, this too will pass.
1day, I am glad you are finding this time easier emotionally and mentally. I believe the mindset we are in is such a strong force to utilise.
Duffster wonderful and timely reminder of the positives of sobriety, and the dangers of complacency.
Marcher, don't feel bad about thinking of drinking, feel fantastic for not giving in to temptation. Remember, you are one day older and wiser now
NMS congrats on 75 days. As for May babies, my family is littered with them, it is one expensive month for me!
Sass there is only so long we will allow the anaesthetic as an excuse, from now on it is either a 'blonde moment' or in my case a 'senior moment'!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
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Toots, I have plenty of senior moments but I've been told by professionals that for each hour of anesthesia we can count on 1 month of "anesthesia brain" so I have over a month and a half left to use that excuse, lol.
S
S
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