Class of March 2013 Part 13
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
joygirl - What are you doing for the "recovery" part of your drinking? Are you doing AA, are you working with a therapist? I think I remember you reading a self help book? I was stuck in a bad case of the "now what's" about two weeks ago. I haven't done much recovery yet, but just knowing that I have a plan and will get there seems to be keeping the dark thoughts at bay, for now. Though I slept awfully last night and woke up to unexpected rain which cancelled my mother's day plan, and I'm kinda having a bit of a moody blues moment now.
duffster - I used to think that PAWS was hogwash, but lately I've turned into a complete and total flake. Within the past week or so, I have no attention span whatsoever and word retrieval in my brain is really spotty too. I couldn't think of "table cloth" the other day. I was saying to my husband "you know, that piece of plastic tarp like thing that you would put on a picnic table? Table cloth!" I think my shrieking "table cloth" may have alarmed others slightly in Big Lots, but finding that word was such a struggle and when I found it, I thought I had won the lottery! LOL
NMS - Congrats on 75 days!
toots - I think my "temporary" sponsor's issue was that she knew that she was going away/going to be extremely busy for the second half of May. She also has her own version of AA that isn't terribly traditional that she doesn't recommend for newcomers. I think between those two, she was pushing me to find someone else "for my own good." She wasn't trying to scare me away so much as to widen my safety net and get me someone who is more traditional in their approach to the program. I just didn't fully grasp what she was talking about and without having found someone else, it was making me nervous that by mid-May I would be alone and back to square one until June. I totally agree with your views on friendship. I'm such a hardfast loyal friend too, that I tend to try to cling to people well past their expiration date, and I usually wind up getting burned by it by forcing a friendship where there is no longer common ground, and then getting angry with the now-ex friend for not coming through. <sigh> I guess that's something else to work on!
Sass - I had 2 1/2 hours of anesthesia back in mid-December. Can I still blame that? LOL
Shoes - nice pic. Is that you with your mom?
northlander - Polar bears are so cute...in photographs...where they're not covered in blood...
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
duffster - I used to think that PAWS was hogwash, but lately I've turned into a complete and total flake. Within the past week or so, I have no attention span whatsoever and word retrieval in my brain is really spotty too. I couldn't think of "table cloth" the other day. I was saying to my husband "you know, that piece of plastic tarp like thing that you would put on a picnic table? Table cloth!" I think my shrieking "table cloth" may have alarmed others slightly in Big Lots, but finding that word was such a struggle and when I found it, I thought I had won the lottery! LOL
NMS - Congrats on 75 days!
toots - I think my "temporary" sponsor's issue was that she knew that she was going away/going to be extremely busy for the second half of May. She also has her own version of AA that isn't terribly traditional that she doesn't recommend for newcomers. I think between those two, she was pushing me to find someone else "for my own good." She wasn't trying to scare me away so much as to widen my safety net and get me someone who is more traditional in their approach to the program. I just didn't fully grasp what she was talking about and without having found someone else, it was making me nervous that by mid-May I would be alone and back to square one until June. I totally agree with your views on friendship. I'm such a hardfast loyal friend too, that I tend to try to cling to people well past their expiration date, and I usually wind up getting burned by it by forcing a friendship where there is no longer common ground, and then getting angry with the now-ex friend for not coming through. <sigh> I guess that's something else to work on!
Sass - I had 2 1/2 hours of anesthesia back in mid-December. Can I still blame that? LOL
Shoes - nice pic. Is that you with your mom?
northlander - Polar bears are so cute...in photographs...where they're not covered in blood...
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hey, coffee! Well, actually its rx pain pills I am addicted to, but I do not drink anymore either (or anything else). So, no I do not have a plan other than to abstain and I come onto SR for support. I live in a rural area that doesn't have meetings I could find. I am reading a book recommended to me about optimism. I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
joygirl - ok, I didn't know your backstory in terms of addition. I don't know what to suggest where you live in a rural area. I am hopeful that AA will help me. I know they have NA and CA and all that. I know this will sound weird, but I feel like alcohol is only a small part of my alcoholism. My problem is that I am a head case and that once anything becomes remotely uncomfortable, or too comfortable, or too boring, I feel the overwhelming need to either escape and or self-destruct. Booze really helped me do both of those things. Now that I don't drink. I still have those urges, just no outlet. That is driving me NUTS. I need to learn how to be calm and to take things as they come and not fly off the handle and all that "good stuff." Otherwise, I'm going to be a spinning head case with no plan and I will drink or drug or gamble or eat or sex or starve myself or something. It's only a matter of time. Maybe therapy if NA isn't an option? Right now, I really feel like i need both.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by 360shoes 
Happy Mothers Day to my beautiful Mom. Who has loved and believed in me for over 54 years regardless.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there.
xoxo
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there.
xoxo
Shoes you are so alike ... beautiful xxx
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Originally Posted by Snaggle
Shoes you are so alike ... beautiful xxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Historical event. Miracles do happen.
Today was the last day to take my Mom out of her environment. I took my parents out to eat but it was way too much for her and it went all downhill from there. She was confused, agitated, and it was not good. It took an hour and medication to get her to stop crying when we got back. My dad and I had a long conversation about letting her be. It's better for her to stay behind and for me to just get him out for awhile. He agreed. We will see if he can do it. He has a tendency to look to me to solve everything. I don't have the heart to tell him I barely can solve my own problems.
Here's the miracle. I have no desire to run and hide in a bottle. I don't even feel the need to hide.
One day a hole in my socks can throw me for a loop and the next day all hell can break loose with my Mom and I'm ok. Go figure that one out.
Today was the last day to take my Mom out of her environment. I took my parents out to eat but it was way too much for her and it went all downhill from there. She was confused, agitated, and it was not good. It took an hour and medication to get her to stop crying when we got back. My dad and I had a long conversation about letting her be. It's better for her to stay behind and for me to just get him out for awhile. He agreed. We will see if he can do it. He has a tendency to look to me to solve everything. I don't have the heart to tell him I barely can solve my own problems.
Here's the miracle. I have no desire to run and hide in a bottle. I don't even feel the need to hide.
One day a hole in my socks can throw me for a loop and the next day all hell can break loose with my Mom and I'm ok. Go figure that one out.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Shoes, I think that for the big things we galvanize and Marshall our resources to handle things. It's the small stuff that tends to fly under our coping radar because we don't think it's important enough to deal with.
S
S
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Originally Posted by Saskia
Shoes, I think that for the big things we galvanize and Marshall our resources to handle things. It's the small stuff that tends to fly under our coping radar because we don't think it's important enough to deal with.
S
S
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by 360shoes
One day a hole in my socks can throw me for a loop and the next day all hell can break loose with my Mom and I'm ok. Go figure that one out.
As for the socks, well dear girl, with the shoes you wear socks would look a bit weird.
Morning all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
Shoes - Sorry things didn't go so well with your mom. I agree with Sassy, she seems like a smart lady.
Voice is horse from too many vocals on Rock Band tonight. Darn you White Wedding for being way below my lower register. ;-)
Voice is horse from too many vocals on Rock Band tonight. Darn you White Wedding for being way below my lower register. ;-)
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,173
I hope everyone is doing well
Shoes, sorry things were so difficult with your mum on Mother's Day, it is such an awful Illness, and with us all living longer, I think it is something that will begin to feature in a lot of lives. Sass was right on the ball.
Joygirl, have you considered on line meetings? Not just AA but others do online meetings too. I googled every possible alcohol connotation when I restarted in March, to ensure I could maintain my control when things got tough.
I feel it is human nature to hide from the worst of things, and if we can do this with emotions by using mind altering substances we will. Unfortunately that means when we start recovery, we not only have to begin to deal with the hard stuff coming up, but historic issues which we have mashed down into our psyche start to reemerge too.
Coffee it sounds like you are fighting for your sobriety and arming yourself for future battles!
Sass, erm harangue?? I'm hurt!!
I hope everyone has an easy and sober week
Shoes, sorry things were so difficult with your mum on Mother's Day, it is such an awful Illness, and with us all living longer, I think it is something that will begin to feature in a lot of lives. Sass was right on the ball.
Joygirl, have you considered on line meetings? Not just AA but others do online meetings too. I googled every possible alcohol connotation when I restarted in March, to ensure I could maintain my control when things got tough.
I feel it is human nature to hide from the worst of things, and if we can do this with emotions by using mind altering substances we will. Unfortunately that means when we start recovery, we not only have to begin to deal with the hard stuff coming up, but historic issues which we have mashed down into our psyche start to reemerge too.
Coffee it sounds like you are fighting for your sobriety and arming yourself for future battles!
Sass, erm harangue?? I'm hurt!!
I hope everyone has an easy and sober week
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Haven't been posting nearly as much here and not sure what to make of it -- whether it's just because my focus is elsewhere, or I'm getting complacent (ack!) or some combination of those and other factors (probably). I haven't had many cravings at all, but it's probably time for me to reaffirm my commitment to sobriety and reinvest in some strategies to maintain it. Do some reading, journaling, heck -- maybe even go to a meeting! It truly is one of the more dastardly aspects of The Voice that it not only expresses its desire to drink, but tries to reassure me that I can control it if only I tweak the circumstances a little.
Anyway, I have been sober for 37 days straight and am grateful for that, and all of you!
Shoes, wishing you continued strength dealing with your parents. Coping with aging parents has to be one of life's greatest challenges, I imagine. One I'll be facing sooner rather than later myself.
Oh, and I submitted an application package to a company I'm now determined to work for, located right here in town. Oh God, to work as a writer/editor and NOT have to do the commute to NoVA/DC. Talk about a dream come true. In fact, I wouldn't have to drive at all. I could literally walk to work.
They've probably already hired someone for the position they advertised on craigslist several weeks ago (I missed the application deadline by a month), but I figured it couldn't hurt to still put myself on their radar. Sent hard copies of everything to the CEO via snail mail as well.
Have to tell myself that I do deserve another fantastic opportunity like this one -- IF I stay sober.
Hope everyone had a great weekend, and keep marching!
Anyway, I have been sober for 37 days straight and am grateful for that, and all of you!
Shoes, wishing you continued strength dealing with your parents. Coping with aging parents has to be one of life's greatest challenges, I imagine. One I'll be facing sooner rather than later myself.
Oh, and I submitted an application package to a company I'm now determined to work for, located right here in town. Oh God, to work as a writer/editor and NOT have to do the commute to NoVA/DC. Talk about a dream come true. In fact, I wouldn't have to drive at all. I could literally walk to work.
They've probably already hired someone for the position they advertised on craigslist several weeks ago (I missed the application deadline by a month), but I figured it couldn't hurt to still put myself on their radar. Sent hard copies of everything to the CEO via snail mail as well.
Have to tell myself that I do deserve another fantastic opportunity like this one -- IF I stay sober.
Hope everyone had a great weekend, and keep marching!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Hello everyone!!! oh you guys can't imagine what I have been through these last few days. I got logged out and could not get back in . I was beside myself--I didn't realize how bad I needed this thread until I couldn't get signed in ---anyway--sooo Glad to be back it's been awful without you guys. it's been 10 weeks today for me and all I could think about this week=end was how I was going to stay sober without you. Anyway---I got you all back and I'm one happy gal. YIPPEE SKIPPY !!!
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