Class Of October 2011 pt 3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by Sigma 
I had the AV kicking in on the way home (My Witching Hour). I just kept changing the subject in my mind to what was right in front of me; the car ahead, whatever. It worked pretty well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 176
Day 25...hello Octobers. i haven't been here much today...so glad to see so much activity here.
sadsoul...it got me all choked up to see that you missed my posts today. this place is so awesome.
alaska...i am so concerned about you. please come back here and reach out if you are feeling the uncontrollable drive to pick up. we have all felt it too. your sobriety is precious...your life is precious. thinking of you.
gerbosko...your pics are beautiful. it is amazing how an online forum is inspiring me. i am thinking of lacing up the running shoes too.
so many other posts that i have missed. i had a busy day today.
to be honest, i will share that i woke up this morning in an uncontrollable fury. i am usually such a quiet easygoing person. anger hasn't had a big place in my life. when i feel angry, i usually blame myself for it, rather than vent it outward. i think a good part of my drinking has been to numb intense feelings, anger, anxiety, disappointment, fear. so it was a big deal for me to feel this avalanche of anger. my daughter set me off by being fresh and getting up late...but then it transferred to my husband...bills i have to pay...a traffic light. it wasn't really about anything that happened, it was free floating anger that attached itself to anyone or anything that got in its way. my head felt like it was going to explode, so i took a motrin and got into a long hot shower.
at lunch i went to a meeting. when it was my turn to share, i just started in with the story of this rage i feel. part of it feels like suppressed emotion rising to the surface. it also feels like a stage of grief...i have been grieving the loss of my wine and now i am so angry that i can't have it. it's not fair! there were about 40 people in this meeting and as i started talking about the anger i became louder than my usual polite self and more animated, and people were nodding and laughing with agreement and identification. then many of the people who shared referred to my feelings and said that this was part of their path to sobriety, feelings started rising up. when i closed i had said...wow, i am having trouble being pleasant and all i can do is be honest lately, and sometimes it isn't pretty. i hope people like the new me....one man said, i like the new you WAY better.
so it was this awesome recognition of my feelings. i find that when i share...both here and in meetings...if i try to turn off my overactive censor/editor and just speak from my marrow, something genuine will come out. i share this in part because today i learned from people who are ahead of us in sobriety that it is part of the process for intense and unfamiliar emotions to well up to the surface.
peace and strength to all.
sadsoul...it got me all choked up to see that you missed my posts today. this place is so awesome.
alaska...i am so concerned about you. please come back here and reach out if you are feeling the uncontrollable drive to pick up. we have all felt it too. your sobriety is precious...your life is precious. thinking of you.
gerbosko...your pics are beautiful. it is amazing how an online forum is inspiring me. i am thinking of lacing up the running shoes too.
so many other posts that i have missed. i had a busy day today.
to be honest, i will share that i woke up this morning in an uncontrollable fury. i am usually such a quiet easygoing person. anger hasn't had a big place in my life. when i feel angry, i usually blame myself for it, rather than vent it outward. i think a good part of my drinking has been to numb intense feelings, anger, anxiety, disappointment, fear. so it was a big deal for me to feel this avalanche of anger. my daughter set me off by being fresh and getting up late...but then it transferred to my husband...bills i have to pay...a traffic light. it wasn't really about anything that happened, it was free floating anger that attached itself to anyone or anything that got in its way. my head felt like it was going to explode, so i took a motrin and got into a long hot shower.
at lunch i went to a meeting. when it was my turn to share, i just started in with the story of this rage i feel. part of it feels like suppressed emotion rising to the surface. it also feels like a stage of grief...i have been grieving the loss of my wine and now i am so angry that i can't have it. it's not fair! there were about 40 people in this meeting and as i started talking about the anger i became louder than my usual polite self and more animated, and people were nodding and laughing with agreement and identification. then many of the people who shared referred to my feelings and said that this was part of their path to sobriety, feelings started rising up. when i closed i had said...wow, i am having trouble being pleasant and all i can do is be honest lately, and sometimes it isn't pretty. i hope people like the new me....one man said, i like the new you WAY better.
so it was this awesome recognition of my feelings. i find that when i share...both here and in meetings...if i try to turn off my overactive censor/editor and just speak from my marrow, something genuine will come out. i share this in part because today i learned from people who are ahead of us in sobriety that it is part of the process for intense and unfamiliar emotions to well up to the surface.
peace and strength to all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Goodcheer, I am so inspired by you! Wow, 25 days and you go to meetings daily and you share. It's very difficult for me to share or to even know what I am feeling. I do that better one on one. You should be so proud of yourself. Thank you so much, now I know and can try and anticipate unfamiliar and intense emotions. You are one strong woman
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
tobersobers, I have daily meditation book that I read daily. I would like to share one. "We thought it sounded a bit fanatical when we were told tht our physical and emotional sobriety must come fore anyone or anything else. But now we understand. Sobriety must ineed be our number one priority, because without it we have nothing. Our own painful eperience has taught us that the minute we begin taking our sobriety for granted, it will begin to slip away. If we don't quickly get our priorities back in order, we are bound to become as physically, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt as we once were. Today we put first things first. we try to have an unequivocal willingness to do whatever is necessary to maintain our physical and emotional well-being. No job, no relationship, no amount of money or status is worth our sobriety". I am praying that my commitment to sobriety will bring about the change I want so much. I am hoping that this time will be different because of my commitment.
Living Sober
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East Coast
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by honeypie
I went to chat, just in case Alaska was there, and I ended up chatting with other SR users and they were really nice to talk with. It is such a great tool when you are craving.
Bye for now, back later, hang in there Alaska, I know how you are feeling, we ALL do!
Bye for now, back later, hang in there Alaska, I know how you are feeling, we ALL do!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by honeypie
I am going to an AA meeting tonight. I may or may not "share" there. Last time I didn't and I felt like people were waiting for me to say something and I almost felt guilty about not talking but I steadfastly refused to feel pressured. We'll see about tonight.
. Hope it's a good meeting!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Goodcheer - So glad to hear from you! Yes, I enjoy checking in during the and reading your posts! I definitely missed you today. Your recovery sounds like it is going so well. Crazy when feeling the anger welling up is a good thing isn't it But, I do think it is. Not good to have that all bottled up. Glad you're continuing your meetings - they sound like a great, safe, supportive place to let it all out!!
Keep on keeping on - you're a such an inspiration and great example for all of us
But, I do think it is. Not good to have that all bottled up. Glad you're continuing your meetings - they sound like a great, safe, supportive place to let it all out!! Keep on keeping on - you're a such an inspiration and great example for all of us
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
I'm about to go to bed but I did go back and read all the posts I missed and I'll reply to a few. You guys are AWESOME! 
. The support for sobriety is a major point for staying sober, even though I had nearly no desire for any alcohol for over a week I still know I have a very active support system just a click away. Thanks for the comments on the picture(s), I'm glad you like them I figured you'd want to see what the top-down view was.
Since I already typed out all my replies, I think I'm heading off to bed now -- 5 am work and plus my OFF day from jogging! Might go make some music with my brother if I can figure out my music software and if he's home.
PS: If I have any spelling errors please blame notepad for not having spell checker!
@LittleSparrow - I'm trying hard to change up my Wednesday routine but what helps a lot is exercing because now I want to get back home and then go jogging, it's addicting. I'm sure I'll have a Wednesday off soon so I'll plan something fun for that night.
@nvrbeentospain - Keep it up, today is Day 34 for you and trust me, working out helps a TON!
@sadsoul - Great to hear that you ran on Wednesday! Yeah, the first few days your legs will feel weird but it won't last that long if you keep it up. Good for you on the 1.75 miles! That's outstanding. The Whey Protein I picked up was at CVS and I got the Cookies and Cream flavor, but I've always heard vanilla is better. The one thing with Whey Protein is never expect it to actually TASTE like the flavor it's saying that it is, It's going to taste funky and not that good but it's so so so very helpful in muscle recovery - My legs don't even hurt when I wake up.
I've never tried coconut milk but it sounds expensive LOL, is it sold in normal grocery stores? If so, would I find it near the milk or somewhere else? The whey protein is also a dietary supplement if I'm not mistaken by the way.. I'm going to be eating like a rabbit for my lunch sooner or later, it always happens when I work out and want to take care of my health, I absolutely love salads!
@Dominica - Welcome to the thread, Nice to have ya.
@Deserto - I need deadlines also LOL, you should see the amount of stuff I put off and it's basic easy stuff too. I guess being busy is great but I could always use a clean room.
@Alaska - I remember a friend posting somethings from that auto correct site, I use to read that on a semi daily basis but I haven't for awhile, I'll check it out sometime soon once life slows down a little.
Waiting to hear from you since your post, hope you calmed down and told yourself about why you're on SR and how good you've been doing.
@philb - Have fun! I'm jealous! You'll be welcomed back with open arms. I wish I could come hiking with you, I love hiking but still a beginner at it - I want to go hot air ballooning some day...maybe, I'm scared of heights that I cannot control lol (AKA: My feet are on the ground, I'm happy)
@goodcheer - That's awesome! walking / jogging / running may seem weird at first once you get done you feel extremely proud of what you've did and plus you wasted energy which will help you sleep good... I cannot possibly explain it haha. I'm very happy your meetings are helping you out, I really do enjoy reading your posts.
@Sigma - Awesome on your book arriving! Let us know how you like it.
. The support for sobriety is a major point for staying sober, even though I had nearly no desire for any alcohol for over a week I still know I have a very active support system just a click away. Thanks for the comments on the picture(s), I'm glad you like them I figured you'd want to see what the top-down view was.Since I already typed out all my replies, I think I'm heading off to bed now -- 5 am work and plus my OFF day from jogging! Might go make some music with my brother if I can figure out my music software and if he's home.
PS: If I have any spelling errors please blame notepad for not having spell checker!
@LittleSparrow - I'm trying hard to change up my Wednesday routine but what helps a lot is exercing because now I want to get back home and then go jogging, it's addicting. I'm sure I'll have a Wednesday off soon so I'll plan something fun for that night.
@nvrbeentospain - Keep it up, today is Day 34 for you and trust me, working out helps a TON!
@sadsoul - Great to hear that you ran on Wednesday! Yeah, the first few days your legs will feel weird but it won't last that long if you keep it up. Good for you on the 1.75 miles! That's outstanding
. The Whey Protein I picked up was at CVS and I got the Cookies and Cream flavor, but I've always heard vanilla is better. The one thing with Whey Protein is never expect it to actually TASTE like the flavor it's saying that it is, It's going to taste funky and not that good but it's so so so very helpful in muscle recovery - My legs don't even hurt when I wake up.I've never tried coconut milk but it sounds expensive LOL, is it sold in normal grocery stores? If so, would I find it near the milk or somewhere else? The whey protein is also a dietary supplement if I'm not mistaken by the way.. I'm going to be eating like a rabbit for my lunch sooner or later, it always happens when I work out and want to take care of my health, I absolutely love salads!
@Dominica - Welcome to the thread, Nice to have ya.
@Deserto - I need deadlines also LOL, you should see the amount of stuff I put off and it's basic easy stuff too. I guess being busy is great but I could always use a clean room.
@Alaska - I remember a friend posting somethings from that auto correct site, I use to read that on a semi daily basis but I haven't for awhile, I'll check it out sometime soon once life slows down a little.
Waiting to hear from you since your post, hope you calmed down and told yourself about why you're on SR and how good you've been doing.
@philb - Have fun! I'm jealous! You'll be welcomed back with open arms. I wish I could come hiking with you, I love hiking but still a beginner at it - I want to go hot air ballooning some day...maybe, I'm scared of heights that I cannot control lol (AKA: My feet are on the ground, I'm happy)
@goodcheer - That's awesome! walking / jogging / running may seem weird at first once you get done you feel extremely proud of what you've did and plus you wasted energy which will help you sleep good
... I cannot possibly explain it haha. I'm very happy your meetings are helping you out, I really do enjoy reading your posts.@Sigma - Awesome on your book arriving! Let us know how you like it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Ok all caught up on the posts. I must say I actually prefer overcast dark weather to sunny days. Its supossed to rain over here in SoCal tomorrow and I am looking forward to it! So I thought today was going to be terrible do to work drama but it was all solved and ended up being a really good day. I actually felt genuinely happy for the first time in awhile on my drive home, which is a feeling I am not used to. Looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend!
Welcome Dominica!
Alaska hang in there! you've worked hard for your sobriety and I know that a night of drinking isnt going to fix anything.
Phil have an awesome trip!
And a big hello to everyone else!
Welcome Dominica!
Alaska hang in there! you've worked hard for your sobriety and I know that a night of drinking isnt going to fix anything.
Phil have an awesome trip!
And a big hello to everyone else!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Wow, it is day 34, and tomorrow is Friday! Once again, the weekend plans include a nice dinner in there somewhere, breakfast out (love to do this) and some baking. It'll be nice to get to catch up with my partner, too, because it seems like all either of us do is work. We'll fit some cat cuddling in there, too.
It's ridiculously cold here, and soon the days are going to be so short. I love fall, but I think I could do without the winter. I need a trip to Hawaii or Mexico. Anybody want to join me?
Alaska, what's up? I hope you're feeling better.
It's ridiculously cold here, and soon the days are going to be so short. I love fall, but I think I could do without the winter. I need a trip to Hawaii or Mexico. Anybody want to join me?
Alaska, what's up? I hope you're feeling better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
It just occurred to me, can we imagine a website for, just, drinkers?
Or the drinkers we were? (are)?
For example. Mine would be something like, "hi peeps, another stressful day...I had planned on only having 2 glasses of wine from the bottle I bought. Wouldn't you guess, as the television blared and my teenager stomped around, those 2 glasses turned into 3! Ha ha. Oh - also, just wanted to say that I pretty much finished off last night's pizza, but i did make a salad. Thing is, all the dishes and the salad spinner are in the sink because, let's face it. I don't freaking want to wash dishes right now! Ha ha ha! I am on glass 3. Where are you guys?? Let's talk tomorrow about your drinking plans for the weekend!!"
Seriously.
Sober me: does dishes and has become fanatical about clean kitchen.
Sober me: has the coffee in the filter pre-prepared for tomorrow at 6am.
Sober me: responds to emails from family.
Sober me: is getting much more exercise.
I just can't imagine all the same support from a network of knuckleheaded alkies who are still active.
We are the knuckleheads who saw the light. And thank God for that!!
Or the drinkers we were? (are)?
For example. Mine would be something like, "hi peeps, another stressful day...I had planned on only having 2 glasses of wine from the bottle I bought. Wouldn't you guess, as the television blared and my teenager stomped around, those 2 glasses turned into 3! Ha ha. Oh - also, just wanted to say that I pretty much finished off last night's pizza, but i did make a salad. Thing is, all the dishes and the salad spinner are in the sink because, let's face it. I don't freaking want to wash dishes right now! Ha ha ha! I am on glass 3. Where are you guys?? Let's talk tomorrow about your drinking plans for the weekend!!"
Seriously.
Sober me: does dishes and has become fanatical about clean kitchen.
Sober me: has the coffee in the filter pre-prepared for tomorrow at 6am.
Sober me: responds to emails from family.
Sober me: is getting much more exercise.
I just can't imagine all the same support from a network of knuckleheaded alkies who are still active.
We are the knuckleheads who saw the light. And thank God for that!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Honeypie, that sounds like lots of facebook posts I see. Of course my life is still too sadly like the drinking scenario just sans wine. Even though I guess I do do much more cleaning/cooking and whatnot now than I did before. Still not enough but more.
Of course my life is still too sadly like the drinking scenario just sans wine. Even though I guess I do do much more cleaning/cooking and whatnot now than I did before. Still not enough but more.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Alaska, how are you doing? Please check in with us and let us know how you're feeling. We're here for you if you want or need to talk it out.
I just realized today that my husband has a bottle of beer in the fridge left over from the weekend. I can't believe I didn't see it until now. It isn't in the back or anything---it's right in the front at my eye level. I must be getting better at this subconscious "it isn't for me" thing. I have the day off work tomorrow and don't quite trust myself with the beer in the house, though, so I've asked him to drink it tonight. He asked if it was bothering me, and I said yes. He actually apologized for it bothering me. Maybe this is a step in the right direction.
It seems like everyone is having some great revelations. Thanks for sharing them! You're all awesome! Have a great sober Friday!
I just realized today that my husband has a bottle of beer in the fridge left over from the weekend. I can't believe I didn't see it until now. It isn't in the back or anything---it's right in the front at my eye level. I must be getting better at this subconscious "it isn't for me" thing. I have the day off work tomorrow and don't quite trust myself with the beer in the house, though, so I've asked him to drink it tonight. He asked if it was bothering me, and I said yes. He actually apologized for it bothering me. Maybe this is a step in the right direction.
It seems like everyone is having some great revelations. Thanks for sharing them! You're all awesome! Have a great sober Friday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 58
Lol Honeypie! You are so right in your last post. You put a good sense of humor on wisdom. Those two contrasting people you described explains me exactly! And I definitly like the second person a whole lot more, the sober one.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
Originally Posted by nvrbeentospain
Honeypie, that sounds like lots of facebook posts I see.
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