Gerbosko

Out of boredom I went and looked at the total replies for the Class of October 2011 threads

We have 1,214 posts so far! (not including this one).. It's only November 5th too, wow!

tanja

Good Morning All, some wonderful posts! I am dealing with a certain amount of stress right now. I have 4 dogs and 2 cats. I agreed to pet sit my sister's 2 dogs. They are escape artists that run away. She came over last night and announced one had run away with the leash dragging on the ground. She looked for the dog for 30 minutes and left to go on her vacation cruise. I am still healing for a bad fever blister (brought on by stress) when my dog was ill. I jumped in the car (I can drive in the neighborhood - just not beyond it) in an attempt to the find the dog. Mercifully, a man flagged me down and asked me if I was looking for a dog. I said "yes" and he told me to follow him. Thank God, I got her back. I think the past that would have been a trigger for me to relax and unwind after a stressful situation. The two dogs are the in basement (one doesn't get along with others) and barking. I let them up in the den and they urinated twice (not house trained). I have been up early and really need to go take a nap. Every single time for the past 7 years - exhaustion has been a huge trigger. I have been suffering from insomnia for some time. I do know as uncomfortable as it may be - it in no way shape or form compares to a hangover. So, even if the insomnia continues it certainly beats the alternative. I hope the dogs will settle down so I can get some much needed rest. I did find a coping statement for anxiety that I think is also is helpful with drinking. "I don't need to fight these feelings. I realize tht these feelings won't be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept new new feelings of peace, contentment, security and confidence". Hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful sober week-end

BoozeFree

Day 7 enjoying this nice cold morning over here jumpin on SR. I woke up around 6:45 and was going to sleep in but decided to just get up. I have to take my puppy to her puppy class in an hour then just relax and maybe watch some movies today and listen to music. I forgot how much I loved discovering new bands and listening to music. Now I can enjoy it much more again sober. Im trying to just really relax and get back to being healthier, drinking really took a toll on my body. Monday is my bday and I have decided to just go out to dinner and not do anything to crazy where I would feel tempted to drink since I will prob already feel tempted enough as it is. This will be my first bday sober since I was 14. Hope everyone has a nice weekend, Im sure I'll be on here later.

seethroughblue

Thank you so much for sharing Goodcheer and Sadsoul. Those were very powerful stories to share this morning. I really needed to hear them.

Actually Sadsoul I was wondering about your story for a while. You always seem to be focusing on everyone else and giving great advice to others, I am happy you took some time to write out your thoughts about your own situation. You seem very selfless. And you are a great inspiration.

Goodcheer, wow, that story was very 'hard' to read. I related a lot to what you said. My oldest is only 2.5 years. But while I was reading your story, my life flashed forward 10 years and I pictured my kids having to be around me while I've been drinking. And it was not a happy feeling.

Also, Littlesparrow....you got the side affects of your Dad constantly going to the bars, even though you didn't realize it at the time. I don't want my children to have to go through that either

This has been a great morning of posts, I really appreciate everyone taking time to write their thoughts out, and helping me get through another sober day.

PS Tanja, GEEEZ what a stressful situation. Good for you on staying strong and sober. I like dogs, but cannot stand having to clean up anymore poops and pees than I already have to (I have two babies in diapers)! Plus all the barking and driving around trying to get the dog back. You are a great person for doing all that!!

Boozefree, congrats on DAY 7!!!

Spiderkitty

I posted this in the " wrong" place. Then again I bought a pack of new cotton undies forgetting how they are sized resulting in 6 garments big enough for me and 3 others! I guess I can make some winter shirts for my friend's Italian greyhound.

Enemdio

Evening Sobertobers. Went cycling today with my eldest son who's 23 and we had a great time pedalling through the really nice, if hilly, countryside around here. Trouble was, I felt tired - no, more drained, didn't seem to have any energy, every hill was a real effort. Previously, I used to charge around the route and revel in the hills.

I know others have complained of tiredness having got sober - does anyone know why? It puzzles me. I thought lack of sugar, as I used to drink wine with 5 grams a glass, but I must have replaced that at least double with all the sweets I'm eating.

Anyone able to explain?

Spiderkitty

General- so long as you haven't any true health concerns, for me, new sobriety had all sorts of odd manifestations that pass. Peppy then pooped was common. I even got an odd rash under my rings! After all, drinking wore my body out and it takes time & energy to mend. Good for you keeping up the pedaling. Helps the process & post-drunkum blues!

tanja

General,

How is your sleeping? From what I understand insomnia is pretty common in early sobriety. It is a major cause of relapse.

nvrbeentospain

Good morning/afternoon, everyone! I got over my ridiculous craving for my husband's beer last night (even though I'm so glad he didn't get a 6 pack or something, which might have left me with some more temptation). Did some reading, thinking and went to bed around 10. I woke up a lot last night, though, and am not entirely sure what's up with that. I'm not going to worry about though.

Woke up this morning and decided to make a coffee cake, which is in the oven right now. However, our coffee maker is apparently broken, so eh, I guess we'll have it with tea. This domestic goddess thing isn't really working out for me. So I guess we'll be buying a new coffee maker today.

It's cold and dreary where I'm at today -- hope it's a little more cheerful elsewhere.

whenartdeparts

hey, Sobertobers
I also quit drinking in October... October 11th to be precise.
I'm very glad I found this thread, it's a great idea, shame I didn't see it sooner.
Hope we all make it through November and many more months to come.

Enemdio

Thanks Spiderkitty and Tanja,
No trouble sleeping after the first week (Day 27 today) but 'Peppy then pooped' resonates with me and also mood swings. I guess it's like you say, Spiderkitty, it's the body doing all sorts of strange things as it starts to recover.

BTW, I was listening to this Prof. talk about leadership and how self-mastery is important. He talked about the 'Rider and the elephant' - the Rider (You) is trying to guide the elephant (Your addiction) down the right path but the elephant has its own ideas.

Deserto

Good afternoon all.

Well I didn't make it much past the chinese food and reading the threads here. After the walk and the swim and dinner, I felt tired (no wonder why!) and so passed on the poker game. Instead I just surfed these threads and then read for a few minutes (ok, about a minute) in bed. Slept for 10 hours. Obviously my body needed it.

Funny observation: I got a text from a friend at the game saying "it's mellow, why don't you come over." It's funny how people like to assure non drinkers that something is "mellow" as a means of trying to get them to come over. How about "OMG this is the most wild and hilarious event I've ever been to, you should be here!" Now that might pique my curiosity and get me to come out

I spent a good part of the evening reading excerpts from Under the Influence, which can be found here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html Really interesting stuff. Who else has read this book? What's the difference between it and "Beyond the Influence?" I found the scientific information on how alcohol changes your cellular chemistry fascinating and compelling. Despite the thread I started about Allen Carr, the notion that my body might be maladapted to alcohol does, in a way, strengthen my commitment. Alcohol is something I just cannot do... that I want to turn to not because of lack of willpower or some emotional or social reason... but because my cells are screaming for it. An interesting image, I thought.

@Goodcheer and @Sadsoul... thank you for sharing your stories. My Dad's an alcoholic who still drinks one to two bottles of wine every day, and though I love him there are times when I can't stand him, and oh how I wish he would have quit drinking years ago. The two of you quitting drinking is hands down the very best thing you can do for your kids. You are both very good moms.

@LittleSparrow I can tell you the first half of the first paragraph of the Eugenides novel is good That's all I made it through last night, but yes I will let you know what I think. Did you ever read his first novel, The Virgin Suicides? Not only did I like it even more than Middlesex, I think it's one of the most beautifully written novels I've ever read, and probably one of the best American novels of the 20th century. Not that I've read every American novel of the 20th century, of course.

@Sadsoul you asked about hobbies. I do want to resume journaling (which I used to do all the time) but I've also thought a lot about possibly learning to play guitar. I used to know a few chords, and played bass for a few years as a teen, and then played drums professionally until in my mid-twenties, so it wouldn't be that hard to pick up at least on an elementary level. I'm not looking to master the instrument, but it sure would be good to be able to play a few Johnny Cash songs around the campfire.

Part of this desire is the recognition of how much time I've freed up by not drinking. Today is day 28 (I think) since I decided to quit drinking. As you know I've had two slips in that time. Assuming I used to drink 4 hours per weekday and 8 hours per weekend day (at a minimum), in the last 4 weeks I would have spent at least 144 hours (6 full days, nearly an entire week!) engaged in drinking. Instead I've spent maybe 10 hours drinking. It's not perfection, but it's a 94% improvement. That's some good progress, I think.

@SpiderKitty and @WhenArtDeparts ... welcome and I'm glad you joined us!

nvrbeentospain

I've got to admit I've read "Under the Influence" and wasn't a huge fan. I'm more on the scientific side of life, though, so I felt like there were some claims made that there wasn't great evidence for. Not saying I disagree with the claims, but I don't think you can say anything as forcefully as they do in the book without better data. Actually, that's where etoh stuff sucks -- we don't have good data for anything. Lots of common knowledge and whatnot but not a lot of good scientific evidence.

For me for reading now I'm more into personal memoir type of stuff just because everything else I read makes me too skeptical. However, I do believe there's a biochemical explanation for my relationship with alcohol that's probably explained both by genetics and my regular increase in etoh consumption. Some of my psychological issues (that also have some biochemical factors) made drinking more appealing to me, too. This is a belief that works for me. Knowing that there's something biological going on frees me from a lot of the guilt and also, yeah, reminds me that I really can't drink. My body just plain doesn't respond to it right.

On the biochemical note, drinking makes me euphoric. When I first heard that brought up as an issue I was totally puzzled because I thought that happened to everyone. It actually doesn't. How weird. Oxycodone makes me euphoric, too, and it makes lot of people dysphoric and sleepy. I have a first degree relative who developed a raging oxycodone addiction, and I'm pretty sure I'm susceptible to that, too, due to that whole oxycodone = euphoria thing. If I ever need pain medications again for anything, I know I'm going to have to be super careful and disclose this issues to my doctor.

goodcheer

good afternoon, all....

thanks for your thoughtful words and support on my raw post this morning. it is so easy for me to forget how bad it got for me when i was drinking, and emotional and physical damage i was risking. i do feel so embarrassed over who i have become while drinking. my girls are so awesome...it seems like every good time we have together now that i am sober erases a memory of my emotional absence. the more i smile, the more they smile. pretty amazing.

Deserto...i was just thinking this morning that i would like to learn to play guitar. i saw roseanne cash on a special last night, and she was awesome. singing johnny cash songs around the campfire would be my idea of heaven!!

General...i am craving sweets like crazy too. i had my daughter pack up all the remaining halloween candy so we can give it away at work. grateful to have lost a few lbs since i put down the drink, but my next goal needs to be more attention to my nutrition, as i have just been eating whatever i need to just to get past the cravings for a drink.

welcome spiderkitty and whenartdeparts!! this is a great place to be...lots of friendly support.

tanja...thanks for the coping statement: "I don't need to fight these feelings. I realize tht these feelings won't be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept new new feelings of peace, contentment, security and confidence". reminds me some of the serenity prayer from AA, which helps me a lot. wishing you peace and rest this weekend, hoping that the dogs won't give you too much stress.

everyone...thank you so much for being there.

peace and strength to all.

goodcheer

spain...i appreciate your insights on biochemical factors in addiction. glad to see that you realize that the euphoria you experienced is unique to you and you are aware of your own particular sensitivity to alcohol.

i am so torn between my own responsibility for every single sip i took of wine, and the idea that i lost control of my drinking. actually i still feel responsible for losing control. it's hard for me to blame genetics or biochemical factors or what AA would call an "allergy" to alcohol. my husband and i both drank from the same bottles of wine, and he would take a few sips and leave the rest of the glass sitting on the counter...i would polish off the rest of the bottle and wish for more. so there must be some explanation for why some of us are more prone to alcoholism than others. i am still trying to sort out what i am responsible for and what was out of my control. what i do know for sure is in my control is the decision to stop drinking.

tanja

I have also read "under the influence" and didn't find much useful information on recovery. The only recomendaton is AA. The same is true for "beyond the influence". There are many other supporttgroups out there - SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, SOS, Rational Recovery, Sober recovery forum, etc. I did find some constructive (relapse preventive) thinking from SMART Recovery that I find helpful. 1) Thought Stopping: I'm not going to think about that; I've already made my decision. 2) Thought Substitution: I'm in danger - I'd better be alert; I think I'll call Bob; I think I will plan my vacation. 3) Coping Statements: This feeling will eventuallly pass; It's hard, but not too hard; Condemn the behavior, not the person. 4) Debating/Disputing/Challenging Your Addictive Voice: Where is the evidence? Is this thought or belief true or valid? How does this thought or belief serve my best interest? 5) Positive Affirmation: I have said no to myself before - I can do so again; I'm going to treasure my sobriety; even if I have lapsed, I can accept myself. 6) Review of Goals (Desirable Outcomes) I want to stop drinking - it's my goal; I have already decided that I want to keep my relationship with my wife; I want to go home sober. 7) Review of Negative Consequences (Undesirable Outcomes) Eventually, I will lose my job; I can't take two drinks without taking several more and getting drunk; my relationships will suffer; 8) Reframing: Look at the situation from another angle or another person's viewpoint . Look at the benefits of chosing not to engage in the addictive behavior. 9) Rational-Emotive Imagery: Imagine yourself behaving or feeling differently about the situation. Close your eyes and practice responding to someone in a different, more rational, more effective manner. The great thing about these techniques is that they can be used not just to fight the addictive voice, but some of the negative feelings we may encounter in sobriety.

BoozeFree

Hoppin back on here. I had some major cravings hit due to getting frustrated and thought I better jump on here instead of in my car to the store. After catching up on some posts I feel a little more relaxed. I also had that idea pop in my head that its my bday soon so I should drink it up this weekend, bad idea. I think I might try and take a nap for a little bit.

Welcome spiderkitty and whenartdeparts!

General I have also been eating sweet stuff all week!, better than drinking all week though.

bozboz

From what I have read, the reason for the tiredness is since you stopped drinking, your body has literally put itself under construction to rebuild from the damage and much of your physical energy has been directed to the reconstruction.

I'm on my 23rd day today, and am feeling the exact same way. I'm so happy tomorrow is daylight savings! An extra hour of sleep in the am.

DarkDays

Epic Fail:

Another 20 day quit with even a 5 night stay in NYC ffs.

Last night went out with two brothers (meet about 4 times a year) Met in pub , first 2 hours no problem, then I just go zombie like and drink, its so sad I mean the cravings where hardly death defying ..Now my brothers have gone and its like " who cares if you drink or not " I had about another 2 hours of night to go and I end up feeding monster in my mind, self pity over and over again, its like I drink just to prove to people I still drink, like I am ashamed that feeling nerdy and sandel wearing by being sober even though its optimal for me for the way I think/sleep/live ,sick of it.
I talk the talk blah blah, but end up in rinse and repeat syndrome ,Allan carr/Timpsey I think this way, but just cave in at certain spots, still trying to identify these spots/thoughts, I dunno just morose and dark today.

If I do not stop, I will simply carry on hiding wine, craving wine//sleep will be awful/dark thoughts/get fatter/look older/less money/deathly morbid thoughts/smell/plus not being able to respond to an emergency at 3am because I have drank 2 bottles of wine and my wife not knowing this , the list is endless.

Being Sober for my 4 month stint and umpteen 3 week quits..I sleep like a baby (not at first)/look better/excersise/smell better/nice thoughts/more money/Much calmer this list is endless.

Which list would you choose if it was advertised on your very first drink ?

Think I will have to join the Novembers, I feel ridiculous that I have posted happy things from NYC about how great holidays without booze are and then a week from getting home Iam drinking.

Have a great sunday all.

tanja

DarkDays, Don't feel ridiculous. Addicition is a very hard thing to tackle. I have tried and failed thousands of times. The important thing is you aren't giving up. Your still welcome in the October group I know if I have a relapse - I would still like to stay with the October group. I know they would understand and be supportive.