Birchgreen

I'm more or less keeping the need for sugar under control(ish). I'm trying to eat dried fruits instead of candy or chocolate. I have however totally lost control over caffeine and nicotine. By the end of the day my espresso coffee machine is red hot and the cigs are really bad - it's either the need for instant gratification - or a way of filling those moments were I would have been having a drink. One addiction at a time.....

MaxKl

I'm not sure I'm really ready to join the October group, just afraid of failing again and again. But I just wanted to say how inspirational so may of you are in this group, and it helps knowing I'm not alone in my quest of sobriety. As a mother of 3, I can especially relate to the other mothers and their feelings. I'm sure I'll get to day 5 again this week, I just can't seem to get past the weekend. And with the hoidays coming up, and my family coming into town for Thanksgiving... I don't know if I can manage, as much as I wish I could.

tanja

MaxKl,

Your welcome to join the group I have failed again and again, but I refuse to give up. Try and take it one day at a time and tell yourself you can do it. What are the triggers that make getting through the week-ends so difficult? Can you find other ways of escaping that do not include drinking? (reading, music, massage, movies, etc)

debinaweb

Renasence

Many will know this poem By Edna St. Vincent Millay. It’s always been inspiring to me, but it is even more so now, making this transition. It's long... so when you get time. Hoping you guys enjoy it.

1. Renascence. Millay, Edna St. Vincent. 1917. Renascence and Other Poems

tanja

Welcome Copperfield! Congratulations on Day 19. Happy sober Monday!

goodcheer

Alaska...I am not pushing AA here, though it is helping me a lot. i have been to 15 meetings in 15 days and have seen a wide range of sharing. some people cry, some express anger, frustration, despair...a wide range of emotion. i expect that no one passed judgement on your emotional share. i admit, i am lucky in this respect in that i live in a county with dozens of choices in terms of AA meetings to attend. some i like, others are better, and my home group felt like home, even though it's not the closest one to my house.

your share in a meeting is YOUR time. it is for you...i am told by many members that we need to be selfish about our sobriety. your sobriety comes first, and as long as it relates to your alcoholism, ANYTHING you are feeling is appropriate to share. i might try to make a connection with one woman in the room, so you feel like you have an ally. also...this is just me...i enjoy meetings with men and women. men often have a different way of looking at things, which helps me a lot.

just my 2 cents. hang in there. hope you enjoy tonight's meeting.

MaxKl

Tanja - I think there are may triggers, but in the end I think the main thing is the relationaship with my husband. He's not a bad person, and treats me well, but from early on in our relationship, we've always had a relationship with alcohol together. For years it was okay, I managed very well without drinking every night, and having only one or two if we went out, but that changed may about 10 years ago when I noticed I just had a hard time stopping once I started drink. I stopped again when I had my 3rd child, but after I finished nursing him, those cravings just started back up. Alot of my need I think comes from some depression (which I know alcohol makes it worse), its just not being happy in my life and I don't know how to dig myself out of this hole I'm in. I think the weekends are just hard because it reminds me how much fun we use to have going out with friends... but pretty much, especially for me, for one reason or another, most of my good girl friends are no longer here (moved away), or life has just moved on because of kids, work, etc. I have some good friends that I communicate with, but it's not the same as living here close to me. There are also the pressures of intimacy on the weekends, and for me, it's really hard to be in the mood if he's been drinking and I am not.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, I am rambling. I know I need get some help, whether thru therapy, AA, or another means... there are just days I feel so alone and it doesn't really matter since no one seems to care anyway. I know my kids love me..... which is what keeps me going.

Gerbosko

goodcheer - you're doing amazing! keep up the great work! Glad you're feeling better at work, it really helps to brighten up not only your day, but the people around you.

MaxKI -

Why are you telling yourself this? If you keep telling yourself this, it'll come true and you'll go back to drinking. I think you need to try a different approach by saying "I WILL get through the holiday without drinking, I WILL quit drinking forever. Don't have a negative attitude when it comes to something that's going to IMPROVE your life. Alcohol has this little demon that will be inside you for awhile trying to poke you and tell you "it's okay, just drink" - You need to fight back and hard and you'll defeat the demon and the poison taking over your life.

Alaska - Keep up the great work, you can do it!

Today upon coming home from a really good day at work, I pull in my driveway to find the people working on one of the roofs near my apartment are completely taking up the driveway and where I park has some roofing stuff scattered all over. I was fuming mad at this point but just went inside, got my outside shoes and left. I tried playing Disc Golf but the course was full so I just went for a peaceful walk around the lake nearby which REALLY helped. I did get an urge to drink but the walk cleared my mind and made me proud that I got away from the situation and handled it well without drinking alcohol.

Came back home with a clear mind, same situation but I was relaxed.. I had to park on the side of the driveway and walked, a tad upset that people can be inconsiderate and just left it as that.. Later I looked outside and they were moving all their stuff to the side, so I could go and park now but I'll wait till they leave or wait till later tonight because I'll still be sober and able to drive! .

That has been my first real stress test, I might of complained about it but I got through it without poisoning my body =).

alaskasunshine

I am on day 18, this is thin ice for me. Longest I have been sober in months. I was at the grocery store at lunch time, (didn't go to the meeting) and the liquor store is in the grocery store, right in front of the check out stands. I had to walk by it twice and suddenly I start thinking about drinking. Not today as I am on antabuse so drinking isn't an option. But I start planning it for the near future. I thought about how nice it would be to have a buzz on. I know how I crashed so easily in the past, just the idea of a little drink, a slight buzz...gets me every time. I know better.
I just wanted to confess to you all. This is sooo difficult.

Dee74

I tried to get sober for 15 years.
The last time I tried I'd nearly killed myself with my drinking so I really wanted a change.

I made myself promise that I would do everything I could - no stone unturned - before I drank again...I had some pretty hard days (and nights) especially in the beginning, but I kept my promise....

the troubles always passed....and I always woke up the next day so glad and grateful I hadn't drunk....

nearly 5 years on and I'm still sober...I have the support of people here at SR to thank for that.

We can all do this
Together we're strong...

Use the support, guys

D

ZenJen

Just checking in folks

There's a lot of activity here that I gotta catch up on.... that'll have to wait until I get back from outpatient. Oh well. Gonna grab a bite to eat and head out. This keeping busy thing REALLY HELPS!!!! OMG!! I honestly can't imagine things having gone as smoothly as it's been w/o having both work and outpatient to keep me occupied.... I guess I'd go to a lot more meetings, lol

Take care all, and a big fat to our newbies (((hug)))

Animal454

Hello class..The trip to the dunes was absolutely epic.
Feels great to be home and get back on track.

Good news is that I am back on SR!!!

gr8ful42day

I am gonna open us a chat room if anyone wants to hang. I need to catch up, meanwhile.... been buuuuusy!

seethroughblue

Can't chat at this moment but feeling ok about not drinking. But kinda having a pity party about it!!

Good to have you back Animal!

microbio1

Hey Gerbosko, I about lost it on a few little old ladies in the grocery store today, but like you, just took a breath, distracted myself and got out of there. I am not usually so short tempered I don't think.
I am having issues with anxiety right now. It's not real bad, I am just kind of jumpy and unfocused. During the day I;m fine with being busy but as soon as the sun sets I feel overwhelmed.
I don't want to drink...but I do want to feel better. For tonight I am feeling strong enough in my resolve that drinking will not really make me feel better.

I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

gr8ful42day

Tomorrow night is AA birthdays, so I won't be online till after 930 est...fyi.

Anyone can chat tho in regular room or click on the door on right with plus on it and make a new room for Class of Oct, just skip the password.

Gerbosko

Microbio - My anxiety level goes up after work / late afternoons just like yours, It seems like we're controlling it pretty well . I always blame it on being from Wisconsin haha.

My anxiety oddly enough is probably highest on my drive home from work or for the first hour after work which is where I'd either be picking up beer (on way home) or be drinking it (first hour of being home). The way I control it is drinking water and surfing SR and my other routine websites that I visit or just being outside and enjoying life.

Keep up the great work!

sadsoul2011

Isn't it awesome when your kids look you right in eye - all the way to your soul it seems - and you can look right back at them with a clear mind, clear eyes and a happy heart? My heart is full of joy and love!!

Being a drunk is hard. Being sober is hard. Choose your hard!

Peace and strength to all tonight!

Animal454

I will try to be on.

Thanks seethrough..I appreciate that..



I know that feeling well..Awesome indeed.

Sober Mojo to ALL!!!!

copperfield

Cardio! Not only do we share the same day be we also both love milk duds and sour patch kids!!!!!!!! YUMMMYY