Originally Posted by
tanja 
MaxKl,
Your welcome to join the group
I have failed again and again, but I refuse to give up. Try and take it one day at a time and tell yourself you can do it. What are the triggers that make getting through the week-ends so difficult? Can you find other ways of escaping that do not include drinking? (reading, music, massage, movies, etc)
Tanja - I think there are may triggers, but in the end I think the main thing is the relationaship with my husband. He's not a bad person, and treats me well, but from early on in our relationship, we've always had a relationship with alcohol together. For years it was okay, I managed very well without drinking every night, and having only one or two if we went out, but that changed may about 10 years ago when I noticed I just had a hard time stopping once I started drink. I stopped again when I had my 3rd child, but after I finished nursing him, those cravings just started back up. Alot of my need I think comes from some depression (which I know alcohol makes it worse), its just not being happy in my life and I don't know how to dig myself out of this hole I'm in. I think the weekends are just hard because it reminds me how much fun we use to have going out with friends... but pretty much, especially for me, for one reason or another, most of my good girl friends are no longer here (moved away), or life has just moved on because of kids, work, etc. I have some good friends that I communicate with, but it's not the same as living here close to me. There are also the pressures of intimacy on the weekends, and for me, it's really hard to be in the mood if he's been drinking and I am not.
I know this probably doesn't make much sense, I am rambling. I know I need get some help, whether thru therapy, AA, or another means... there are just days I feel so alone and it doesn't really matter since no one seems to care anyway. I know my kids love me..... which is what keeps me going.