|
Class of October 2011 pt 2 |
Hey guys. I wanted to check in and let you all know that I'm not addressing the issue of my stuff and the ex tonight because after outpatient last night I started coming down with a head cold and now tonight after a full day of normal work, my cold is full-blown :( Thank you all for your support!!! When I'm feeling better my mom, "brother" and I will go get my stuff. And just like someone mentioned, then I wont have to worry about that emotional baggage while I'm in early recovery (21 days today!!!) I'm gonna rest up for now and probably check back in in a little bit, maybe while I'm making dinner. It's so nice to have an appetite and be able to eat what I want when I want - that's one thing inpatient can really make you appreciate, lol. And for you guys craving sugar - I hear ya! My guilty pleasure: sour patch kids with a fresh cold can of coca cola :D Take care everyone and talk to you soon! |
Ooops, I posted about 10 minutes after you made the redirect post Dee. Sorry! |
Originally Posted by alaskasunshine
(Post 3142709)
I just returned from my weekly therapy appointment. She actually came out and said that if I overcome my "issues", the things that make me drink, I wont want to drink again. She said I would be able to drink "normally" once I dont need to drink as a coping mechanism. I will be free to take it or leave it. What are all of your thoughts? Please help cause I figured I would never be able to drink again. Ever. Period. I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date, favorably to them. They took a drink a day or so prior to the date, and then the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape; they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence. There is a solution, 22/23 We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. |
Day 3 for me - I guess I struggled a little but over came it, Got off of work and went and picked up some cash and went out to eat. I sat at the bar but had no intentions of drinking alcohol, ordered a soda and some food and felt proud as I walked out sober. The funny thing is that I was near someone who was drinking and as he was talking I could just smell the alcohol and hear the slurring words coming from him - It was quite a circus for me because that could of been me if I didn't quit drinking. The only struggle was looking around and seeing all of the alcohol that I use to drink but I thought it helped a lot to have a prime example of what alcohol does to people sitting right near me. |
I moved your post ZenJen...I'm battling illness today so I forgot to close the old one...sorry :) D |
Alaskasunshine - I don't know what to think of your therapist except to echo Dee's question, does your therapist know even what we know here? Anyway it's a therapist and you are you. You know what you think deep down. There are people in my life who love and care about me and they say I don't have a problem! Literally my own mother has told me I don't have a problem. Well, thanks for your input, Ma, but I am the one who lives inside this head, and the emotions that drive me and the anxiety I feel when wine is a staple in my life. First it relaxes me. But then there is always fallout. Always cringe-worthy moments. For all these years! So...nope, I am not able to drink normally. Hey - for those coming back sober from trips, and for those heading on trips - congrats on staying sober! I have a trip coming up in November, to LA and I am already kind of worried. But I gotta live this one day at a time! Today I am sober. And you guys are all helping. Boozefree...you ok?! |
Alaska, I have never known anyone who has made that kind of recovery. Has anyone? Sounds like a great way to throw away a perfectly good sober life to me. What do I know... I'm just sayin'. We want to be present for the rest of our lives, right?? I never again want to be like the guy at the bar Gerbosko observed. There but by the grace of God go I... Dee, ZenJen, and you other guys struggling in your way tonight.... sorry you guys are sick. take care, baby yourself. Check in. Gerbosko, I am day 3 also. Welcome to the class. The people here are wonderful and wise. |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 3142782)
I moved your post ZenJen...I'm battling illness today so I forgot to close the old one...sorry :) D Full stomach, easy mind, tonight (even though I'm sick) has been a good night. I hope all you Octoberites have had/are having a nice night :) |
Sorry to hear you are sick Zen. Whispering prayers for you to feel better quick!
Originally Posted by honeypie There are people in my life who love and care about me and they say I don't have a problem! Literally my own mother has told me I don't have a problem. A yr later (after rehab I only lasted short time sober) was my 2nd accident, that killed my bestie...then they believed me. Thank God for my family. They are in Al anon and read up on this horrible problem and are extremely supportive. They all flew in from out of state to support me through court. They helped me heal from my injuries and are still helping me heal emotionally. Lost my job so they weren't supportive at all, someone else took over the organization I started, no support there, and lost some mutual friends of me and BF. But, that's their problem not mine. I have to once in my love have HEALTHY selfishness and worry about me and getting MY life right. No one can do it for me. When I read about your mom, I was reminded of this quote I read recently: "When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with." -Anais Nin, writer (1903-1977) |
alaska...echoing everyone's thoughts on your therapists views. my thoughts are that therapists are more oriented toward treatment of the psychological issues. her comments seem to suggest that if you handle the psychological issues, you will be in control of the alcohol. but the truth is, through your stories, you have let us know that you have a physical addiction to alcohol. gr8ful's quotes from the AA big book are right on target. we might have developed our addictions to help us with emotional problems, but we still have a dependence on alcohol. therapy certainly can help, but i think we all need help managing our addictions and learning to live sober. participating here helps a lot with that. one thing i notice from many comments from folks, as well as my own experience. once we bring our alcoholism into the light of day, we find out who our supporters are...and we can also be surprised by people in our lives who don't take us seriously. this is a serious problem! i love drinking and i wish i never had to give it up, so why would i go through all this pain if i was able to control alcohol? i cannot control it, that's for sure. wishing you all peace this evening. |
I finally plucked up the courage to get a shiny new desire chip at the women's AA group tonight. As they all clapped, I surprised myself by turning the eye faucets on! tears were running down my cheeks. I felt 6 years old. Then afterward a bunch of women came over and wrote their names and numbers down. I felt so cared about. I have done AA before. I have gotten a 30 day chip before and a 60 day chip before. But I was always too embarrassed to get a desire chip. Tonight I made myself be humble. And I feel elated now. Thank you all for helping me find this courage. I want it to stick this time. So, so much. Hope everyone is having a sober evening. |
so proud of you, honeypie! |
Originally Posted by honeypie
(Post 3142872)
I finally plucked up the courage to get a shiny new desire chip at the women's AA group tonight. |
So proud of you, HP... you must be one of those earthbound angels :You_Rock_ |
Alaska , my belief is there is no way to become a cucumber once your a pickle. I think the moderation studies for true alcoholics, trying to get alcoholics to drink moderately , have more or less been debunked as myth....and unfortunately a lot of therapists don't have a complete picture of what alcohol does to a person physiology and how it changes you in many ways you can't see. The Big Book quotes hint at what is now showing in evidence recently of how alcoholics whole physiology changes during their drinking time and it never goes back. You might want to read Under the Influence and its companion Beyond the Influence ( http://www.amazon.com/Under-Influenc.../dp/0553274872 ) . I also picked up http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Weeks-So...9079981&sr=1-1 and it has some interesting information that I found helpful to reducing my relapse frequency , duration , withdrawal and rebalance through supplements but that just my experience. I don't see these books opposing the Big Book , just actual furthering work on what is outlined in the BB. Bill Wilson and Dr Bob actually worked on looking for physiology changes and how to counter act the effects of alcohol on people bodies with diet , supplements and of course 12 steps. I think the resounding voices of people way ahead of me in sobriety and recovery shows the idea of moderate drinking for an alcoholic is nearly impossible in the long term. My own moderation experiments lasted at times weeks or months but I always ended up back at the same place and that was right on my a%%. Personally I think alcohol has changed my body , my mind and spirit and created such sickness and chaos time after time, I simply see when i think about moderate drinking it just part of my denial. Seriously consider at least a second opinion from another therapist. Hope you have a sober 24 |
Hi guys, made it home from Vegas safely. Here's a question -- I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this in early recovery. I was sitting in the conference hall this morning listening to the keynote speaker, and all of a sudden I felt "high" -- like everything was crystal clear, and I realized I'd felt that way for the past two days. It literally felt like a buzz, though not an alcoholic one -- probably what coke feels like, I would guess (not having ever done it). Was I just jacked up on my venti white chocolate mocha? Overstimulated by Vegas? Or has this happened to others? It felt great. I feel like I'm getting a buzz off of sobriety. Am I nuts? Is it wrong to think of it that way? Anyone else with a similar experience? |
Yes, Deserto, I have had that feeling too. It really is a high. I think it could be a totally new emotion to me - self respect! |
I was wondering the same Deserto, is it wrong to have that 'high' from being sober? I will enjoy it for now. But try to stay grounded. I went for a run today in amazing 78degree weather, clear blue skies, peaceful breeze, and the sweetest smell (of jasmine?) from these small pink flowers along the way. I instantly thought of it as the sweet smell of sobriety. Wrapping up day 5. Went to dinner with family and had no need to drink. |
Originally Posted by Deserto
(Post 3143004)
It felt great. I feel like I'm getting a buzz off of sobriety. Am I nuts? Is it wrong to think of it that way? Anyone else with a similar experience? |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:21 PM. |