Maryjan

VC, you are welcome here no matter what state you're in. You think we have our **** together??! We're all battling the desire to drink every day, we are all the same. How about hitting an AA meeting today...or just trying to go to bed sober tonight?

I am having a tough time with my work stuff. I work 3 days a week, when my kids are at day care. I've been working on a project for a while, and now I've gotten feedback that it's not very good. I need to have faith and get back to work, but I am really down about this. Sometimes life seems overwhelming.

Hooped

nota, Bf and Soph...you rock!

VC, yes it is just plain Hell. We've all been there. You know the way out. Don't stray away too far from us. Guido is looking for an assignment right now. Hang in my friend..thinking of you. You're welcome here drunk, sober or in between. This could be the best decade of your life. Embrace it.

ReadyAndAble

VC—bring us down? That's why we're here! Silly pics, food discussions, TV recommendations—that's all well and good, but it isn't why I come here. This is about recovery. Posting about struggles is just as helpful—for you AND for everyone else—as posting about successes. Heck, it's even more important and valuable to us. To me, anyway.

Honestly, this whole "I'm in hell and I'll come back when I get my crap together" thing is the only thing that's bringing me down. Is this thread still about recovery support or is it now just about social networking small talk? Because if it's the latter, I'd probably be better off spending my time on the newcomers boards. If it's the former, then get your butt back on here and let's start talking about what happened, where you're at, and how you get back on track.

This is why we're here, VC.

Maryjan

Right! I think all the chat and small talk is the way we're saying, "We're here. Checking in. And I know you're here if I need to talk about my recovery."

VC, we're here. Talk.

Dee74

VC - this is the place we get out s*** together.
It's where you need to be right now. I think.

Make today the day you come back...for good

D

Dee74

Congratulations BF and Hooped

D

notaloser

Yay BF and Hooped!!!!!!

VC, so much of my life is not "together"...especially financially, trying to build a business, rebuild my relationship with my husband...I try everyday to keep putting it back together, make it right, and the only thing that has made a difference to start climbing out of the hole is being sober. It's hard. I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel. I'd like to say F it...grab a glass and "be back when I get my s*&^ together" but where will that get me? further in the hole, that's where. I want OUT. Alcohol is a big reason why I'm in the mess I'm in. Something had to change for me to turn things around, and I have to consciously think about why I am sober each and everyday.

BoozeFree

VC like everyone else has been saying, Keep comin back here. I know for me I lean on SR a lot to stay sober and it has been a huge help. Only you can make the choice to get sober, and hopefully your able to soon.

ReadyAndAble

Bring it, VC. The doubt, the fear, the hope, the encouragement, the jokes and funny pics—bring it back here.

BoozeFree

Good morning group! A nice overcast morning here.

I was thinking on my drive to work a lot about my recovery and what I need to do to continue to grow and maintain it. The first week and into the 2nd I made some changes but I think I need to really change all aspects of my life in order to keep sober. In the past I think I tended to get lazy with my recovery which has led to relapse and I don't want that to happen again.

Well that's it for now, hope everyone has a good day!

Soph

Good morning. Yes BF I agree. What has to change is us. I have to change my behaviour in order to bring about more change. Old behaviour = have a drink to ease stress or celebrate feeling good. Consequence? More anxiety, more stress.

New behaviour = when I crave the drink, I think it through fully and refuse to give in. That makes me feel better for longer than any drink would.

Have a great day all.

ReadyAndAble

BF, you're doing so great! I totally agree with you and Soph. I look around at folks with years of sobriety, and it seems like a common theme is keeping recovery as a number 1 priority—more important than friends, work, even more important than momentary happiness (accepting bad times now and then as part of the price for a generally happy life—like being willing to be just plain bored on a Friday night, or dealing with stress rather than suppressing it with a drink).

ViciousCycle

Hi all. You have convinced me. I need this place, and all of you. Thanks for all your words.....

ViciousCycle

so here I am.........

GirlFromCO

You're not the only one, sweetheart. Can I borrow your cap? Let's do this together.

ReadyAndAble

Awesome! Just about to head out in the offline world for the rest of the day—so glad to see you back VC!



So what do you think happened? What was going on in your head when you went off track? Anything in retrospect you wish you'd done to avoid this? You were doing really good (you know that better than anyone). You can do it again!!

Back online later tonight. Hope you all have a great day.

Hooped

Right on!
You're only a failure if you quit trying.

Staying sober is a daily workout for me. My first thoughts in the morning and my last thoughts at night are about being grateful for my sobriety that day.

Even after FINALLY realizing I needed some outside help (as in therapy and AA), I'm still only one drink away from disaster and I know success is ultimately up to me and me alone.

I am changing, and changing for the better. Instead of letting anger or resentment start to build, I calmly examine what is happening in my life and identify the things or problems that can be changed and try to accept what is unchangable with grace and dignity.

Instead of blindly grabbing a drink I think about HALT....drink some water, eat a piece of cheese, take a nap. If I'm lonlely, I reach out. I'll go to a meeting or call a friend.
I surf that craving through. Every wave that I do conquer makes me just a little bit stonger. All I have to do is not have that first drink.

You folks are an inspiration to me...all of you!

ViciousCycle

Hmmm R&A...........maybe not turn 50? After feeling so good I really felt I deserved it..........and 50? Really??? I did not think it was going to bother me.......I think it did.....that and a ton of other things.......again, things snowballed..........my biggest problem is in my own head.......I beat myself up horribly. When I live like this I live in constant fear.........I don't know how to let things go.....it's a frenzy.......it is, as stated before, hell. The worst part for me is the entrapment of it all.......I get afraid to go out..........again, a mind bender.....not good. I have read this situation on threads here.......no one else seems to think you are that bad.....you handle it......but in my own mind I do not. I know for sure it is a motivational killer.........and I miss the happy me........before you ask what the plan is.....please let me try and figure it out........

GFCO, I hear ya sister.......do you think both of our heads can fit in that hat? We can share it! lol!

MJ, sorry to hear about the work stuff.......what is your opinion on the work?

Hooped, you are right, this could be the best decade ever....."embrace it," I liked that a lot. Please tell Guido to cancel.

R&A, I have to admit you hurt me. I don't consider this a 'social network' kind of thing.....I am sorry if you misunderstood my wanting to back away in times of trouble.........but that stung a bit. Maybe I am just being too sensitive.

Anyway peeps, thanks for being there for me, I am pretty alone right now. I have beat this before and will do it again.

PS

I am past that stupid medical hold issue as far as that gov job goes..........next is another background check......nothing there I am thinking.......a DUI 6 years ago? Everything else is stellar...we shall see.

Maryjan

Vc, you are not alone. We're here. And all our brains are like this...we are so hard on ourselves. Can you forgive yourself? Be kind to yourself? It IS hard to have a birthday...you hurt...that's not a failing. Sending hugs to my friend who is hurting...

ViciousCycle

That is really, really kind, MJ. Thank you.