Maryjan

I finally watched the first SOA...awesome!! Whoa! Yikes!

BoozeFree

Hi guys... really bummed having to say this and actually thought all day whether or not to admit it but, day 1. I thought all day about what went wrong to make me drink last night. I was so frustrated that I couldnt shake off the bad work day and I just wanted to run from it and numb it with some beers. I didnt try urge surfing or playing the tape all the way thru or anything like I shouldve have. I couldve done so many things to try and relax, but didnt and am right back starting all over, again. ugh.

On the plus side I am going to bed tonight sober. Just got done eating pizza and finishing a diet pepsi. And wrote a lot in my journal regarding drinking last night.

ReadyAndAble

Sorry, BF, but glad you're here and giving it another go. It only has to stick once.

Sounds like you took something valuable from it. I'm trying to embrace the fact that there will always be really crappy days. Stressful ones and, even worse for me, days of feeling a kind of emptiness, when I've thought, what's the point of it anyway? But at least sober there are less of those days. When I'm having a rough one, I try to remember that if I can just soldier on until bedtime, I'm radically improving the odds that tomorrow will be a better day.

Dig deep. You can do this!

Dee74

sounds like you already know where you could have done better BF, so I won't add.
Glad you're back on deck.

D

Maryjan

Bf, glad you're stopping the bad story now, nice work. R&a, i hear you. At least I can make sure I never wake up with that horrifying feeling of shame and heartache that comes after a blackout. I feel lonely some nights, too...

ViciousCycle

Well I finally mad my mind up to make today Day 1. Too much bad stuff.....I am really being lazy with my part-time job......sick of being the captive one again. My brain was racing with the most ridiculous thoughts this morning......crazy stupid things kept coming in to my mind.....it was very uncomfortable.......I think it snapped me out of it. So today will be hard.....but I have to do this....again.

Soph

Hi Guys, all good here. Still attending meetings and hanging out with people in recovery (when I even "hang out" if you can call it that?!) Lol. I am working this. Texting with two people from AA when I need to, and doing the daily readings and prayers.

All I can say is, so far so good.

At AA meetings there is always a moment of silence and prayer for the still active alcoholics. I send my prayers to all of us here who need extra support and also for those of us reaching milestones this month (6 months for some of you!) there is not one day that is easy breezy yet but I have faith. Reading SR posts and hearing AA members tells me that it is attainable.

And Dee keeps it real every day. Dee mate, THANK YOU!! So inspiring. :-)

mygrandfather

Well put Soph!

Get back on board Girl and VC. Have a good Saturday everyone. Warm but not brutal hot here in DC.

GirlFromCO

MGF, on board but just quiet. You've been quiet too, I noticed. How's life?

Hooped

Sometimes it's like R@A says, if I can just make it till bedtime tomorrow's bound to be better.

Yesterday was one of those days...stress level through the roof here in Hoopedville. Crap coming at me from every direction..plus I have a toothache that goes right up to my nose. Dental plan is cut off for the time being so Im trying to make it till its reinstated cuz other work needs to be done too (and its gonna be expensive). Sheesh.

The urge to drink was there. Mighta temporarily helped with the tooth too. But I made it to bedtime ok and I'm grateful.

My probs are still here today, but if I had drank everything would be magnified 10x over. This is just life comin at me.
I can handle it!

Hang in everybody!

Dee74

good for you VC

Hope everyone's well
How are you doing BF? GFCO?

D

BoozeFree

Way to go VC on day 1!

Hopped sorry to hear your having some off days, at least your still sober!

Dee I'm doing ok. Just trying to pass time today watching movies.

Hope everyone enjoys there weekend.

mygrandfather

Thanks for asking. Overall I am good, in terms of staying motivated and closing in on 6 mos, I would say I'm fine. Life is just kinda moving along, I guess at this age--42--I'm starting to wonder if this is gonna be a solo journey after all. So I don't always have much to add but definitely the mind is racing all the time!

My soccer team DC United lost at home tonight. Bummer but the weather was nice and I had a mango Italian ice which was pretty tasty. Can't say I didn't feel a bit sad not to be having a beer at the stadium but all was well in the end.

Maryjan

I'm really proud of everyone...!

ReadyAndAble

Good morning, everyone!

VC, glad you're back in the game of life! It's not always great, toothaches and all, but the alternative is miserable.

Hooped, one of my first sober life changes was to go get private dental coverage in January. Actually ended up getting a really affordable plan through Costco, of all places. Needed two fillings--better than I feared after three years of skipping the dentist!

MGF, I think it's pretty early at 42 to be deciding this is it. It's not like you've been single all this time; and your last relationship was 10 years or something, right? That's like being divorced--except you still have all your stuff, lol. Seriously though, I think you'll look back at this time as a transitional period between relationships.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Soph

MJ, I agree. Proud of everyone. The "sober life" is not just a phrase. It is a complete overhaul of ingrained years of habitual coping mechanisms that are destructive.

MGF, you cannot know what is around the corner. Every day that you work on yourself and your recovery is another 24 hours that you are improving. The person who is meant to be with you will really be grateful... although right now, I know you can't imagine that....but please remember. You're in training, for life, right now! Keep it up, you are an inspiration!

That goes for you too Hooped...so sorry about your tooth...and you're right, drinking would only make everything worse. Always.

GFCO, R+A, MJ, VC, BF, Nota, Dee, hope you're all hanging in there! Hang tight.

BoozeFree

Hi guys! Well I'm glad I have been spending the weekend sober and not drinking. I have been feelin super tired, like I could sleep all day, kinda in a blah type of mood I guess.
Im going to some car show for a little and out to lunch today with my dad, should be fun.

ViciousCycle

Morning........been working trying to catch up on my past due work......I deserve this...ugh.
I slept all of a half hour last night.....remember that you 6-monthers? Not a place you want to revisit. I am determined to get back to life, cause this just isn't it for me. I dread everything....I am a happy-go-lucky person when I am not under this spell.

MGF......it sounds like an old cliche', but people come into your life when you least expect it. And just want to add, it's just like the romanticism of the drinking commercials......yeah, there are alot of couples out there you see but most are miserable. I learned it's OK to be alone.......so many years I worked on me, stayed busy as you seem to be. It's a time for real growth. It will happen.

Costco for dental? Would you mind sharing how much it is? How's the tooth today, Hooped?

Well I am off for now. It's going to involve more work.......but I need to get caught up before I lose this job.

Have a good one today peeps.

ReadyAndAble

VC, the dental I have is only available to Costco members in Cali. It was only $80 a year, and benefits began right away. I know they have other ones nationally (not sure about Canada, Hooped).

ViciousCycle

Thanks R&A!!!