Hmmm R&A...........maybe not turn 50? After feeling so good I really felt I deserved it..........and 50? Really??? I did not think it was going to bother me.......I think it did.....that and a ton of other things.......again, things snowballed..........my biggest problem is in my own head.......I beat myself up horribly. When I live like this I live in constant fear.........I don't know how to let things go.....it's a frenzy.......it is, as stated before, hell. The worst part for me is the entrapment of it all.......I get afraid to go out..........again, a mind bender.....not good. I have read this situation on threads here.......no one else seems to think you are that bad.....you handle it......but in my own mind I do not. I know for sure it is a motivational killer.........and I miss the happy me........before you ask what the plan is.....please let me try and figure it out........
GFCO, I hear ya sister.......do you think both of our heads can fit in that hat? We can share it! lol!
MJ, sorry to hear about the work stuff.......what is your opinion on the work?
Hooped, you are right, this could be the best decade ever....."embrace it," I liked that a lot. Please tell Guido to cancel.
R&A, I have to admit you hurt me. I don't consider this a 'social network' kind of thing.....I am sorry if you misunderstood my wanting to back away in times of trouble.........but that stung a bit. Maybe I am just being too sensitive.
Anyway peeps, thanks for being there for me, I am pretty alone right now. I have beat this before and will do it again.
PS
I am past that stupid medical hold issue as far as that gov job goes..........next is another background check......nothing there I am thinking.......a DUI 6 years ago? Everything else is stellar...we shall see.