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Old 07-21-2019, 07:19 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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he left the house for three hours and SAID he went to an AA meeting.

why would you believe that anymore than anything else he has said?

turn down the volume on what you hear from his "show"
watch only the actions.
more will be revealed.
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
Is the clock running on the 45 days already? Documented eviction notice, etc.?
yes. The default hearing should take place on aug 7? He will have to be out by the end of aug or thereabouts. It wouldnít surprise me if he went to the meeting today to groom some other poor fool into her life....
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Old 07-21-2019, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
he left the house for three hours and SAID he went to an AA meeting.

why would you believe that anymore than anything else he has said?

turn down the volume on what you hear from his "show"
watch only the actions.
more will be revealed.
interesting....
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Old 07-21-2019, 08:02 PM
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I do believe he has no heart. I donít know this person. At all.
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Old 07-21-2019, 09:29 PM
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Dazed, please donít take this the wrong way... but you probably have so much anxiety because your entire focus is on him and his drinking. All your posts are so extremely focused on his actions, his drinking, his life. Listen, I know... I was so focused/obsessed with my ex. But that could be the root of all this anxiety. Maybe try to stop focusing so much. I know... easier said than done... but try walking away. Donít watch or listen to him as much. It takes a long time but Iím fairly certain your anxiety will improve once you start changing your focus. Even this thread went from YOUR anxiety straight back his drinking.
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Old 07-22-2019, 04:34 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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My favorite SR expression is "not my circus, not my monkeys" and I think this applies here.

You are moving forward and he is trying anything to distract and reset.
Frankly, if my spouse had filed for divorce due to my drinking, I would have found an inpatient program and already be there showing through my actions I was serious.

One crummy meeting (maybe) ain't much action, especially given how bad it got.

LC is correct you are really still focusing on him.
I also think your anxiety may really be coming from your occupation of a ringside seat to his shiteshow, where the act changes every few hours.

No longer your circus, no longer your monkey--you are more important now.
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Old 07-22-2019, 05:40 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
My favorite SR expression is "not my circus, not my monkeys" and I think this applies here.

You are moving forward and he is trying anything to distract and reset.
Frankly, if my spouse had filed for divorce due to my drinking, I would have found an inpatient program and already be there showing through my actions I was serious.

One crummy meeting (maybe) ain't much action, especially given how bad it got.

LC is correct you are really still focusing on him.
I also think your anxiety may really be coming from your occupation of a ringside seat to his shiteshow, where the act changes every few hours.

No longer your circus, no longer your monkey--you are more important now.
thank you, thank you, thank you! Iím moving ahead, heís begging again. Today, I exercise, get out, therapy, and lawyer. I need the support and you all are angels of mercy! ❤️
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Old 07-22-2019, 05:47 AM
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Dazed, read through the Quackers threads...he has a script, and it's whack-a-doodle.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-quackers.html (QUACKERs....)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (QUACKERs.... Part 2)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-3-a.html (QUACKERs.... Part 3)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-4-a.html (QUACKERs.... Part 4)
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Old 07-22-2019, 05:59 AM
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Heís a cat on a hot tin roof. Nervous, anxious, going to early sunrise meeting. I, on the other hand, am feeling pretty strong today.
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:13 AM
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Originally Posted by LifeChangeNYC View Post
Dazed, please donít take this the wrong way... but you probably have so much anxiety because your entire focus is on him and his drinking. All your posts are so extremely focused on his actions, his drinking, his life. Listen, I know... I was so focused/obsessed with my ex. But that could be the root of all this anxiety. Maybe try to stop focusing so much. I know... easier said than done... but try walking away. Donít watch or listen to him as much. It takes a long time but Iím fairly certain your anxiety will improve once you start changing your focus. Even this thread went from YOUR anxiety straight back his drinking.
I know it. Sick isnít it?
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:18 AM
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oh my god!!! Same words !!! Does this script get passed around!??? Incredible.
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Old 07-23-2019, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post

I know it. Sick isn’t it?
You're not sick - just very well practiced in the ways you've coped until now. LCNY is right, all of your anxiety is from focusing and re-focusing on his behavior. The good news is that we can learn to habitually think differently and focus on better things instead of habitually focusing on crap. Calling my thought patterns a habit or a skill, instead of a sickness, helps me to remember that how I experience my life is always my choice. I have choices. I am never stuck in sickness. Nobody is.
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