QUACKERs.... Part 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
QUACKERs.... Part 2
QUACKERs.... Part 2
This is the continuation of
QUACKERs........ Part 1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3642313
Which I split because it got too long for the server to handle.
Mike
Moderator, SR
This is the continuation of
QUACKERs........ Part 1
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3642313
Which I split because it got too long for the server to handle.
Mike
Moderator, SR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Originally Posted by Fernaceman 
Well, as a recovering addict, I can laugh about this now but, here's one of mine:
"I can't make it to work the next few days, my dog has fleas."
True story.
"I can't make it to work the next few days, my dog has fleas."
True story.
Funny!!!! I guy that I worked with actually used head lice, and came in with his head shaved after being out for a week
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
My XAH has been driving a flash car around. He keeps lying to his kids about the car, like how he got it and who it actually belongs to. One of the kids asked him on the phone yesterday if he was still driving the car...
He told the kid that he wasn't actually sure if he still had the car or not because he hadn't been to his parking space in his building for a while. WTF?
I can't remember if I still have my car. I haven't checked it lately. It may or may not be where I last left it.
He told the kid that he wasn't actually sure if he still had the car or not because he hadn't been to his parking space in his building for a while. WTF?
I can't remember if I still have my car. I haven't checked it lately. It may or may not be where I last left it.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
"It's pink eye. I gotta leave and go to the doctor!" After rubbing soap on my eye to make it red. No doctor was ever visited.
My addiction made me do things I would never do when I am thinking rationally.
My addiction made me do things I would never do when I am thinking rationally.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
In a recent chat with my EXAF, he informed me of the death of someone we worked with years ago. Not an addict, per se, but major egotist. Two divorces, ever younger GF's (he was wealthy), until it devolved into dating strippers. Then he got to old, fat, ill (diabetes & heart disease), and began living with someone more age appropriate. In discussing the co-worker in question, I stated that he had caused most of his problems.
Here's the Quack from my EX: "Yeah, but he lived his life on his own terms".
translation: "I reserve the right to be an active alcoholic".
My reply? "And there you have it."
A wonderful exchange reminding me of why he's my EX!
Here's the Quack from my EX: "Yeah, but he lived his life on his own terms".
translation: "I reserve the right to be an active alcoholic".
My reply? "And there you have it."
A wonderful exchange reminding me of why he's my EX!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: sitting down and facing front
Posts: 170
The other night, AH asked me to drive him to the pub (yes, I know, enabling, but it was either that or have him crack the sads). Anyway, he asked if I could take him in 10 minutes. About half an hour later, he comes in, says nothing, just "it's okay" when I ask him what's up and the next thing I realize he's walked himself off down there. Okay. Saves me a trip. Apparently I am supposed to go looking for him after 10 minutes to tell him I'm ready *shrug*.
This is all background, stick with me.
He comes home all cranky because his chronic back pain is playing up and he's obviously remembered to take a pain pill or three as well as the minimum 12 cans of beer for the day and whatever he drank at the pub. Comes to bed after me, says "NIGHT!" nice & loud, and then, when I give no real response except a sleepy "night", mutters about how he's going to go to (city on the other side of the country where his brother lives) tomorrow. Or the next day. Another pause, then "I might come back next year."
And thanks to many years of reading on this forum, and taking in the wisdom of those who've been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, I just said "mmm?" and went to sleep.
It was like the duck was quacking me a lullaby :-)
Thank you to all those who have gone before, your journey has been hard, but your willingness to share has helped countless numbers of people like myself who read, and read, and read some more, and may never post about their struggles but take comfort in knowing they're not alone, not crazy.
Oh, and that was Sunday night. He's still here, no mention of taking off anywhere.
This is all background, stick with me.
He comes home all cranky because his chronic back pain is playing up and he's obviously remembered to take a pain pill or three as well as the minimum 12 cans of beer for the day and whatever he drank at the pub. Comes to bed after me, says "NIGHT!" nice & loud, and then, when I give no real response except a sleepy "night", mutters about how he's going to go to (city on the other side of the country where his brother lives) tomorrow. Or the next day. Another pause, then "I might come back next year."
And thanks to many years of reading on this forum, and taking in the wisdom of those who've been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, I just said "mmm?" and went to sleep.
It was like the duck was quacking me a lullaby :-)
Thank you to all those who have gone before, your journey has been hard, but your willingness to share has helped countless numbers of people like myself who read, and read, and read some more, and may never post about their struggles but take comfort in knowing they're not alone, not crazy.
Oh, and that was Sunday night. He's still here, no mention of taking off anywhere.
has left the building :)
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The Big City
Posts: 59
(Unemployed STBXAH):
"We would have more money in savings right now if you would have just put more money in savings, as I've always said."
Whatever you do, don't remind him of the fact that he's spent a small fortune on secret vodka that's all a figment of your imagination, but turns him into a complete and total blithering jerk.
"We would have more money in savings right now if you would have just put more money in savings, as I've always said."
Whatever you do, don't remind him of the fact that he's spent a small fortune on secret vodka that's all a figment of your imagination, but turns him into a complete and total blithering jerk.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
Me: So, now that you're working, I'd like to pay the mortgage this month.
(R?)AH: You're always nagging me so much that I've thought about cheating on you just to give you something to really complain about.
AH: You tricked me into going to rehab. My brain was fuzzy because I had just had a seizure (from withdrawal or overdrinking--we're not sure because he can't remember).
Docs in ER: Do you drink alcohol?
AH: Yeah I have a cocktail once in a while (aka guzzling vodka chased by Gatorade in the car then coming inside to pass out at the dinner table). Somehow calling it a cocktail makes it sound so much more classy and benign, no?
AH: I'm not like those people at AA, I'm motivated. (You're children are on food stamps, you're going to lose your home, your wife has filed for divorce, you don't shave or get haircuts--perhaps you could expand upon or clarify "motivated"?!?)
AH: We wouldn't have all these money problems if you bought the cheaper spaghetti sauce.
This is my first post here. SR has been so incredibly helpful in pulling away from this insanity. Enjoy the Quacks! I sure have gotten a much needed belly laugh out of so many of the other ones here.
(R?)AH: You're always nagging me so much that I've thought about cheating on you just to give you something to really complain about.
AH: You tricked me into going to rehab. My brain was fuzzy because I had just had a seizure (from withdrawal or overdrinking--we're not sure because he can't remember).
Docs in ER: Do you drink alcohol?
AH: Yeah I have a cocktail once in a while (aka guzzling vodka chased by Gatorade in the car then coming inside to pass out at the dinner table). Somehow calling it a cocktail makes it sound so much more classy and benign, no?
AH: I'm not like those people at AA, I'm motivated. (You're children are on food stamps, you're going to lose your home, your wife has filed for divorce, you don't shave or get haircuts--perhaps you could expand upon or clarify "motivated"?!?)
AH: We wouldn't have all these money problems if you bought the cheaper spaghetti sauce.
This is my first post here. SR has been so incredibly helpful in pulling away from this insanity. Enjoy the Quacks! I sure have gotten a much needed belly laugh out of so many of the other ones here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 284
OMG! They really are the same everywhere, aren't they? My AH and I had (very briefly) moved to a small tropical island in the middle of basically nowhere. A liter of rum cost $30, and beer was $2 a bottle at the small grocery store in town. We were trying to live off our savings while living the dream we had been working toward for ten years. He was drinking at least 1 liter of rum and 12 bottles of beer each day, way over our food budget. When confronted about our looming budget issues, he said, "Well, I don't think we should have to sacrifice in order to live the way we want to." He also told me at one point that he had gone "native" to blend in with the locals. He ignored me when I pointed out that the so-called "natives" kept themselves clean and respectable. He could also attempt to speak their language if he really wanted to blend. As it was, he was just a dirty, ignorant American. Oh, and drunk and loud. Good times...
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
As many of us struggle with finding a way to detach with healthy compassion sometimes it helps to realize the words that our A's speak are very similiar and the intent is usually to accomplish one goal . . .
continue doing the same thing, the same way
If you are new and struggling with trying to decide if what your A is telling you is legitimate or "quacking" - maybe read some of these past post to help you . . .
some of it will give you a few laughs, some are crazy and some are a little sad to see how far this nasty disease will take them ~ but most of all we can realize - we are powerless and it is truly NOT about us ~ it is between the A and what I believe is the disease of alcoholism/addiction.
I hope this helps those who read it ~
pink hugs!
continue doing the same thing, the same way
If you are new and struggling with trying to decide if what your A is telling you is legitimate or "quacking" - maybe read some of these past post to help you . . .
some of it will give you a few laughs, some are crazy and some are a little sad to see how far this nasty disease will take them ~ but most of all we can realize - we are powerless and it is truly NOT about us ~ it is between the A and what I believe is the disease of alcoholism/addiction.
I hope this helps those who read it ~
pink hugs!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 70
ExABF: "Dad and I don't have a relationship anymore. It's because I can't handle alcohol like he can and he's disappointed"
Yes. Totally sure that's why he's disappointed. It wouldn't be the fact that you're 29, still living at home, have been unemployed for 2 years, an alcoholic and about to go into rehab for the fourth time. Definitely not.
Yes. Totally sure that's why he's disappointed. It wouldn't be the fact that you're 29, still living at home, have been unemployed for 2 years, an alcoholic and about to go into rehab for the fourth time. Definitely not.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 70
ExABF while in hospital detoxing: 'You've got to get me out of here. This place is seriously scary'
Me: 'Why so scary?'
ExABF: 'Because these people are real alcoholics, they're like what I could become.'
Me (thinking, not saying): No, I think you already are like them. You've got a banana bag attached to your arm, on Valium, have been through several rehab programs and was admitted to hospital because you were at risk of dying from alcohol poisoning. How is that not a real alcoholic?
Me: 'Why so scary?'
ExABF: 'Because these people are real alcoholics, they're like what I could become.'
Me (thinking, not saying): No, I think you already are like them. You've got a banana bag attached to your arm, on Valium, have been through several rehab programs and was admitted to hospital because you were at risk of dying from alcohol poisoning. How is that not a real alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
AH (now exAH, after consuming 12 beers): I need you to go down to the store and buy another case of beer.
Me: Nope.
AH: Then I'll drive myself, and if I kill somebody with the car, it will be all your fault.
Me: Tell it to the judge, @**h***
(empty quack, he did not get in the car)
Me: Nope.
AH: Then I'll drive myself, and if I kill somebody with the car, it will be all your fault.
Me: Tell it to the judge, @**h***
(empty quack, he did not get in the car)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 64
After being separated for 6 months, and less than one week after STBXAH was served divorce papers, he text me that he was turning off the power at the house that his young daughter and I live in (so that he could get the nearly $600 deposit). I asked why he would do that when I am still paying his high car insurance after his DUI. His response "You are asking for child support, what am I supposed to do?"
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