QUACKERs.... Part 3
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
QUACKERs.... Part 3
QUACKERs.... Part 3
This is the continuation of
QUACKERs........ Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Which I split because it got too long for the server to handle.
Mike
Moderator, SR
This is the continuation of
QUACKERs........ Part 2
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Which I split because it got too long for the server to handle.
Mike
Moderator, SR
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 390
My AH is teetering on the verge of a relapse after 6 months sober and more frequent AA meetings. He got drunk on Saturday night, and seems like he's regressing from some of the good work he's achieved. All of a sudden, things are sh|t again. I admit I didn't handle it too well, but I think I've gotten a hold of myself. Some of the quacks from the conversation:
- My priorities, in this specific order: Our daughter, my career, facebook, him. I asked if he had all of those things and he said yes. But somehow I'm still neglecting him.
- I'm the puppet master of his life. I said, sure, I can hang out with others who drink. Just not you. I want you to have the most boring and horrible life by not drinking, for no reason at all other than just to control you. For sh|ts and giggles, just because I'm that big and powerful and my goal in life is to make house with someone I hate that much to make their lives miserable by "making" them not drink when they don't have a problem with it. I'm just that deranged.
- We don't connect anymore. We used to connect more and have a good time, we were both able to let loose. Although yes, there were times that we were connected, but I think those were because we were connected as humans and I'd like to think those connections would have happened with or without booze because we were in love. I said if he wants to connect more, he should connect more. Yet he seems to think that we need to drink the connection. I also mentioned that most times when we were at a club or event like a work party or wedding, he spent the ENTIRE night drinking and smoking on the patio while other men danced and connected with their wives. People would head out for a smoke and he'd just light a new one, so it would always be a rotation of people to talk to. His response, why wasn't I out there with him? Boy, because someone was throwing a party INSIDE and presumably that's why we were there????
It's funny and not funny, but I'd rather laugh right now than cry. Honestly I'm a bit taken aback by the vigor with which he's made an about-face.
- My priorities, in this specific order: Our daughter, my career, facebook, him. I asked if he had all of those things and he said yes. But somehow I'm still neglecting him.
- I'm the puppet master of his life. I said, sure, I can hang out with others who drink. Just not you. I want you to have the most boring and horrible life by not drinking, for no reason at all other than just to control you. For sh|ts and giggles, just because I'm that big and powerful and my goal in life is to make house with someone I hate that much to make their lives miserable by "making" them not drink when they don't have a problem with it. I'm just that deranged.
- We don't connect anymore. We used to connect more and have a good time, we were both able to let loose. Although yes, there were times that we were connected, but I think those were because we were connected as humans and I'd like to think those connections would have happened with or without booze because we were in love. I said if he wants to connect more, he should connect more. Yet he seems to think that we need to drink the connection. I also mentioned that most times when we were at a club or event like a work party or wedding, he spent the ENTIRE night drinking and smoking on the patio while other men danced and connected with their wives. People would head out for a smoke and he'd just light a new one, so it would always be a rotation of people to talk to. His response, why wasn't I out there with him? Boy, because someone was throwing a party INSIDE and presumably that's why we were there????
It's funny and not funny, but I'd rather laugh right now than cry. Honestly I'm a bit taken aback by the vigor with which he's made an about-face.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Originally Posted by silkspin 
My AH is teetering on the verge of a relapse after 6 months sober and more frequent AA meetings. He got drunk on Saturday night, and seems like he's regressing from some of the good work he's achieved. All of a sudden, things are sh|t again. I admit I didn't handle it too well, but I think I've gotten a hold of myself. Some of the quacks from the conversation:
- My priorities, in this specific order: Our daughter, my career, facebook, him. I asked if he had all of those things and he said yes. But somehow I'm still neglecting him.
- I'm the puppet master of his life. I said, sure, I can hang out with others who drink. Just not you. I want you to have the most boring and horrible life by not drinking, for no reason at all other than just to control you. For sh|ts and giggles, just because I'm that big and powerful and my goal in life is to make house with someone I hate that much to make their lives miserable by "making" them not drink when they don't have a problem with it. I'm just that deranged.
- We don't connect anymore. We used to connect more and have a good time, we were both able to let loose. Although yes, there were times that we were connected, but I think those were because we were connected as humans and I'd like to think those connections would have happened with or without booze because we were in love. I said if he wants to connect more, he should connect more. Yet he seems to think that we need to drink the connection. I also mentioned that most times when we were at a club or event like a work party or wedding, he spent the ENTIRE night drinking and smoking on the patio while other men danced and connected with their wives. People would head out for a smoke and he'd just light a new one, so it would always be a rotation of people to talk to. His response, why wasn't I out there with him? Boy, because someone was throwing a party INSIDE and presumably that's why we were there????
It's funny and not funny, but I'd rather laugh right now than cry. Honestly I'm a bit taken aback by the vigor with which he's made an about-face.
- My priorities, in this specific order: Our daughter, my career, facebook, him. I asked if he had all of those things and he said yes. But somehow I'm still neglecting him.
- I'm the puppet master of his life. I said, sure, I can hang out with others who drink. Just not you. I want you to have the most boring and horrible life by not drinking, for no reason at all other than just to control you. For sh|ts and giggles, just because I'm that big and powerful and my goal in life is to make house with someone I hate that much to make their lives miserable by "making" them not drink when they don't have a problem with it. I'm just that deranged.
- We don't connect anymore. We used to connect more and have a good time, we were both able to let loose. Although yes, there were times that we were connected, but I think those were because we were connected as humans and I'd like to think those connections would have happened with or without booze because we were in love. I said if he wants to connect more, he should connect more. Yet he seems to think that we need to drink the connection. I also mentioned that most times when we were at a club or event like a work party or wedding, he spent the ENTIRE night drinking and smoking on the patio while other men danced and connected with their wives. People would head out for a smoke and he'd just light a new one, so it would always be a rotation of people to talk to. His response, why wasn't I out there with him? Boy, because someone was throwing a party INSIDE and presumably that's why we were there????
It's funny and not funny, but I'd rather laugh right now than cry. Honestly I'm a bit taken aback by the vigor with which he's made an about-face.
My best advice for you is to take care of your priorities. Your baby (she's your baby no matter how old!), YOU!!! your job and home and your recreational activities between you and your daughter. When he wants to rejoin you and your daughter as a family, he will sober the hell up and get with the program. When my hubby pulls his crap, I disconnect and move on with life by myself. He's essentially left me by myself. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I don't have any quackers to offer right now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 154
I got a couple of good ones yesterday:
After I catch my A stumbling down the road out of our neighborhood, and ask him what he is doing:
HIM: oh, I called my driver to take me out. I'll be home later."
ME: .....? Right. Your "driver". Because, to me, it looks like you're WALKING to the liquor store.
He does come home, booze in tow, as expected, soaking wet because it started to thunderstorm (The "driver" must have had the windows down!) and passes out.
At 4AM, I wake up to him sneaking out of the bedroom.
ME: where are you going? It's the middle of the night!
HIM: for a walk outside.
Mmmhm. Ok dear, guess his driver is off duty for the night.
After I catch my A stumbling down the road out of our neighborhood, and ask him what he is doing:
HIM: oh, I called my driver to take me out. I'll be home later."
ME: .....? Right. Your "driver". Because, to me, it looks like you're WALKING to the liquor store.
He does come home, booze in tow, as expected, soaking wet because it started to thunderstorm (The "driver" must have had the windows down!) and passes out.
At 4AM, I wake up to him sneaking out of the bedroom.
ME: where are you going? It's the middle of the night!
HIM: for a walk outside.
Mmmhm. Ok dear, guess his driver is off duty for the night.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
Hahahahahahahahaha, JeniBean... You make me laugh. I never thought this horrible mess that became my life for so long would ever be a laughing matter and it's not but these threads remind me of how crazy the alcoholic can be when they lie
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 478
So the other night we get in an tiff.. one in which he always explains to me that because his "needs" are not being met to his satisfaction that “this is not a relationship.”
So upon going to be bed, he says “You don’t love me anymore”
Me: I do, and I care very much.
Him: But you don’t love me to be intimate
Me: Nope, not at this time
Him: Pissed off, getting out of bed. “Well thanks for letting me know.” Goes to smoke and sleep on the couch.
Him: About 10 -15 min later. Comes in the room and gets in my side of the bed squashing me. “I’m going to move out tomorrow. So just let me hug you one last time.”
A week or two later (last night).. we are still arguing about “this not being a relationship” I kindly reminded him that it was less than a month ago the last time we got in a BIG argument about this that or the other, in fact it was father’s day. The kids and I got him some gifts. He knew what he was getting because he made sure the day before to tell me he was going to buy some xyz, so that I would tell him not to, because we already did. Anyway.. later that night after a “few” he gets mad at me over the sex thing AGAIN and tells me he’s going to pay me for the gifts because “they aren't anything but a f**ing front anyway” gee.. that really makes me want a closer snuggly relationship with you.
After relaying this to him last night he has (surprise surprise) no recollection of that conversation. His response was.. I didn't say that.. and if I did you must have said something to me to make me say that.
So upon going to be bed, he says “You don’t love me anymore”
Me: I do, and I care very much.
Him: But you don’t love me to be intimate
Me: Nope, not at this time
Him: Pissed off, getting out of bed. “Well thanks for letting me know.” Goes to smoke and sleep on the couch.
Him: About 10 -15 min later. Comes in the room and gets in my side of the bed squashing me. “I’m going to move out tomorrow. So just let me hug you one last time.”
A week or two later (last night).. we are still arguing about “this not being a relationship” I kindly reminded him that it was less than a month ago the last time we got in a BIG argument about this that or the other, in fact it was father’s day. The kids and I got him some gifts. He knew what he was getting because he made sure the day before to tell me he was going to buy some xyz, so that I would tell him not to, because we already did. Anyway.. later that night after a “few” he gets mad at me over the sex thing AGAIN and tells me he’s going to pay me for the gifts because “they aren't anything but a f**ing front anyway” gee.. that really makes me want a closer snuggly relationship with you.
After relaying this to him last night he has (surprise surprise) no recollection of that conversation. His response was.. I didn't say that.. and if I did you must have said something to me to make me say that.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 67
My AH decided the amount of sugar I was eating was just as bad as the amount of alcohol he was drinking. I pointed out I could still drive and take care of children after eating chocolate. I told him I would switch to sugar free and he could switch to non alcoholic beverages. He wasn't up to the challenge : ).
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
last night's Q U A C K!:
A: You are always ignoring me.
Me: I don't want to talk to you while you are drinking. I feel like I am talking to a beer can, not you. I'd rather wait until the morning to talk.
A: I'd rather you talk to the beer can. I can't handle conversations with you in the morning.
Sue
A: You are always ignoring me.
Me: I don't want to talk to you while you are drinking. I feel like I am talking to a beer can, not you. I'd rather wait until the morning to talk.
A: I'd rather you talk to the beer can. I can't handle conversations with you in the morning.
Sue
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 537
My AH got stuck in a lift (elevator), of course he had a bottle of wine with him. He was stuck there for an hour and of course he HAD to drink the wine.
Why?
Because he really needed to have a wee....and needed something to pee into...
Why?
Because he really needed to have a wee....and needed something to pee into...
I want more funny ones, but I think this disease has crushed me so much that I can't find any of these at all funny anymore.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
AH: I hate the way you drive, you go too slow and always pick the longest way home..you're an awful driver.
Me: I hate driving, can you be the designated driver next time?
no comment back from him, blissfully goes into silent treatment mode
Me: I hate driving, can you be the designated driver next time?
no comment back from him, blissfully goes into silent treatment mode
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I remembered one of my favorite AH quacks last night - it was such an obvious quack that even HE heard it before he was done saying it....
"Well, I mean, you kinda make it EASY to BE an alcoholic.......... but, no! I'm NOT saying it's your FAULT... just that you make it so easy...."
Since I was so budget conscious & I bought his beer at the wholesale club by the case, you know, there was always plenty around.... and since the shots that *I* like to drink are better pre-mixed & chilled I almost always have a batch mixed & ready in the back of the freezer. Yes, *my* shots are pre-mixed, they might also sit in said freezer for 6 months until they are imbibed by me & my friends. I'm really sorry that you like them too & find them too tempting to leave alone?
"Well, I mean, you kinda make it EASY to BE an alcoholic.......... but, no! I'm NOT saying it's your FAULT... just that you make it so easy...."
Since I was so budget conscious & I bought his beer at the wholesale club by the case, you know, there was always plenty around.... and since the shots that *I* like to drink are better pre-mixed & chilled I almost always have a batch mixed & ready in the back of the freezer. Yes, *my* shots are pre-mixed, they might also sit in said freezer for 6 months until they are imbibed by me & my friends. I'm really sorry that you like them too & find them too tempting to leave alone?
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Oh that's all?!
A few days ago, upon telling ABF that the paper says that one of his coworker s girlfriend was arrested for crashing drunk into a telephone pole and fleeing the scene...With her 2 year old daughter in the car, he asks me:
Does it say what her BAC was?
Me: yeah, .167
ABF: oh, well that's not too much
Oh the logic...QUAAACK
Does it say what her BAC was?
Me: yeah, .167
ABF: oh, well that's not too much
Oh the logic...QUAAACK
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 31
Last January we were going out to eat and he was driving (big mistake--hindsight now tells me he was drunk but seemed sober and crabby). I buckled the child into the carseat, shut the door, and walked behind the car just as he put it in gear and started to back out. The only reason I didn't get run over was because I grabbed the antenna and banged on the trunk until he stopped.
I got in and said, "What the hell was that? Why did you just hit me?"
His quack: "Well, you shouldn't walk behind the car."
Good Lord.
I got in and said, "What the hell was that? Why did you just hit me?"
His quack: "Well, you shouldn't walk behind the car."
Good Lord.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 15
H: "I feel hopeless in our marriage, and when I feel hopeless, it makes me want to use."
M: "It sounds like you're saying that you use because of me."
H: "No, I didn't say that. I just said that when I feel hopeless, it makes me want to use."
M: "Um... okay."
M: "It sounds like you're saying that you use because of me."
H: "No, I didn't say that. I just said that when I feel hopeless, it makes me want to use."
M: "Um... okay."
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