Anxiety

Old 07-21-2019, 09:56 AM
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Anxiety

have you ever heard of living with an alcoholic to cause Agoraphobia in someone? I’m experiencing anxiety driving lately, especially over open spaces that never bothered me before. Comments?
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Old 07-21-2019, 10:32 AM
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I had agoraphobia pretty fierce for a while. I was a drinker though.

I can only speculate that if a person does not drink that maybe it is a RX drug issue.

Otherwise, I have no idea.

I had no choice but to take the bull by the horns. I am pretty much still getting better. It has been 4 plus years since I quit being a drunk.

I take no other meds.

Thanks.
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Old 07-21-2019, 10:34 AM
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Honestly I think living with the insanity of alcoholism can create all sorts of anxiety-related health issues. Our obsessions with the alcoholics in our lives can truly hurt us, if we allow it to. I experienced so many negative health issues (on top of all that I was already suffering from....) from bleeding stomach ulcers to constant migraines. I also had increased anxiety & it manifested in all sorts of ways. So yes, I think real anxiety can kick in at any time! Many people consider the effects of living with an active alcoholic similar to PTSD. I agree. I have it, in many ways. All I can say is anxiety is real and it needs to be dealt with professionally. First, dealing with the constant obsession of thinking 24/7 about the alcoholic & alcoholism... that would drive anyone bonkers. I know, first hand.
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Old 07-21-2019, 11:30 AM
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Ditto that.

Have you been to Al-Anon yet? Talking to mental health professionals who deal with addictions can also be very beneficial in validating the experiences you've had and are going though.
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Old 07-21-2019, 11:55 AM
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Dazed....a good subject to bring up to your therapist, who you said you will be calling on Monday....tomorrow....
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Old 07-21-2019, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Dazed....a good subject to bring up to your therapist, who you said you will be calling on Monday....tomorrow....
yes. Noted. Will discuss.
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Old 07-21-2019, 12:50 PM
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i had GAD - generalized anxiety disorder - and it would often pop up WHILE i was driving. best i could figure, i was finally by myself, in my little universe of wheels, kind of a "safe" place, and then the fear/anxiety would pop up. it wasn't the car or the traffic.

i'd just put both hands on the wheel, take some deep breaths, remind myself i was SAFE, and carry on.
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Old 07-21-2019, 01:24 PM
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Hi Dazed... figured I’d come out of my bubble and share some of that love you gave me on my thread

I don’t know about agoraphobia specifically, but I do firmly believe that living with alcoholism, addiction, or abuse of any kind keeps us on edge and anxious pretty much all the time. Have you noticed an increase in anxiety in any other circumstances?
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Old 07-21-2019, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by saudade8277 View Post
Hi Dazed... figured I’d come out of my bubble and share some of that love you gave me on my thread

I don’t know about agoraphobia specifically, but I do firmly believe that living with alcoholism, addiction, or abuse of any kind keeps us on edge and anxious pretty much all the time. Have you noticed an increase in anxiety in any other circumstances?
yes. Since this last bout I have anxiety. Racing heart, trouble sleeping. Deep breathing is helping walks and swimming too. It’s just a sadness, no energy, and then fear. I hate it
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Old 07-21-2019, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post
have you ever heard of living with an alcoholic to cause Agoraphobia in someone? I’m experiencing anxiety driving lately, especially over open spaces that never bothered me before. Comments?
I am very familiar with this. Alcoholic in your life or not, this needs to be addressed.

You already know that.

So, take it for what it is. Fear. But yes, please do get help. This can snowball so quickly from being scared periodically while driving or shopping to you being stuck in your house.

I hope you are venting your feelings. You don't have to be all strong and together you know, vent away here, scream in to your pillow, call your Dad, get extra time with your therapist, attend an Al-Anon meeting everyday, call your women's shelter to ask for support, they may have support meetings you can join there too. Look for divorce support groups - whatever it takes D.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:09 PM
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I’m so fracking angry!!!! He seems all together! His promises and apologies just **** me off more. I miss me. I was fun, gregarious, and productive. This is bs.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:12 PM
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Hey, why not go and re-read your previous threads? The crazypants things he has done and said were not a million years ago, they were like...a couple of days ago. Yesterday. Who he is today is not who he is going to be forever. Real change takes MUCH MORE time than this.

Go for a walk. Pay attention to yourself, not him. You'll get you back, I promise, but it's going to take time and especially DISTANCE from him.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty View Post
Hey, why not go and re-read your previous threads? The crazypants things he has done and said were not a million years ago, they were like...a couple of days ago. Yesterday. Who he is today is not who he is going to be forever. Real change takes MUCH MORE time than this.

Go for a walk. Pay attention to yourself, not him. You'll get you back, I promise, but it's going to take time and especially DISTANCE from him.
lol! I love the crazy pants line, like when he didn’t have any on and was gonna walk out the door, lol! Thanks for the reminder
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Old 07-21-2019, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post
I’m so fracking angry!!!! He seems all together! His promises and apologies just **** me off more. I miss me. I was fun, gregarious, and productive. This is bs.
Maybe he "seems" all together but from out here (not in crazy pants world) this is far far far away from all together.

His moods and promises or lack of promises flit around from one hour to the next. One minute he begs to stay, the next he is doing the oh so long "packing", one minute he will drink as he pleases! the next he is at an AA meeting.

There is nothing all together about this at all, not one bit.

I think you have been living in this dysfunction for so long that this seems kind of normal? I totally get that, we can all become accustomed to situations that are not ideal. Doesn't mean we like it, doesn't mean we are comfortable with it.
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Old 07-21-2019, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by trailmix View Post
Maybe he "seems" all together but from out here (not in crazy pants world) this is far far far away from all together.

His moods and promises or lack of promises flit around from one hour to the next. One minute he begs to stay, the next he is doing the oh so long "packing", one minute he will drink as he pleases! the next he is at an AA meeting.

There is nothing all together about this at all, not one bit.

I think you have been living in this dysfunction for so long that this seems kind of normal? I totally get that, we can all become accustomed to situations that are not ideal. Doesn't mean we like it, doesn't mean we are comfortable with it.
spot on. This is the crazy pants normal routine. Except this time divorce papers are in the mix, and that makes me feel stronger. Thank you trail, I value your insight.
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Old 07-21-2019, 06:05 PM
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Has he actually packed a single item? I think I'd pick up some empty boxes next time I was at a store and bring them back as a kind of subtle hint

I'm so discreet that way you know. . .
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Old 07-21-2019, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
Has he actually packed a single item? I think I'd pick up some empty boxes next time I was at a store and bring them back as a kind of subtle hint

I'm so discreet that way you know. . .
lol ! He has a few boxes packed and pictures off the wall in the office. The boxes are in the garage. I don’t know what his agenda is; seems like he is trying to reconcile, seems like he is waiting to see what his job brings. My head spins at how fast he would be packing if his job is offered in another place...so much for reconciliation and commitment. I don’t trust all this nice talk; I don’t trust the A.A. meetings ; I hope for his sake it’s real but I feel it is manipulation to try to stay here. I am not a plan b. I was looking over texts from a month ago when this started and the names he called me are obscene. The verbal battering, the tirades....he’s calm now but I’m no contact as much as possible. Divorce moving forward and he will have the required legal days to vacate. This is a freaking nightmare.
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Old 07-21-2019, 06:32 PM
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I can smell it, he’s drinking again. I said nothing. And he went to A.A. today. Hard core.
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Old 07-21-2019, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post
I can smell it, he’s drinking again. I said nothing. And he went to A.A. today. Hard core.
probably why he doesn’t seem to broken up about this; he has his lover alcohol by his side. Good grief
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Old 07-21-2019, 06:56 PM
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Is the clock running on the 45 days already? Documented eviction notice, etc.?
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