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Old 10-20-2015, 09:45 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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What you are going through is horrible. Do whatever you can to ensure that you and your children are safe.
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Old 10-20-2015, 10:01 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thank you all so much.
I'm going to keep reading your posts over and over.

I'll post more later, but just wanted to say thank you for now.
It really helps to write it down and put it out there, and to hear that yes, Kboys, it really is that bad.
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Old 10-20-2015, 11:38 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Oh babe....you have to get out of this situation. He is a true danger to you, your children, and himself. Please don't believe any of the awful things he is saying. You are a wonderful and loving person. You have tried all you can, turn him over to God.

Sending lots of love and lots of hugs to you. Keep us updated!
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Old 10-20-2015, 12:44 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Kboys - how horrifying for you! Stay safe my friend, you and your kids. I know what it is like to have someone who "loves you" choke you and speak nasty things.

You don't deserve this treatment!

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Old 10-21-2015, 07:16 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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kboys,
Thank you for writing this here.

I keep a journal of the horrible things my AH does, and I read it a lot. I keep saying if it gets to "XYZ" then I am out. And when he gets there, I up the ante a little more. I keep telling myself "it will get better". It never does. It gets worse.

Seeing your post made me stop, and really feel what we are going through. It is real. It is bad. It is real bad.

Sending strength and peace your way, as I find more and more inside myself.

Thank you again for sharing.
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Old 10-21-2015, 08:35 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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^^^ could have written those words, exactly. So very sad and scary. To everyone here on this board, please do whatever necessary to keep you and your kids safe!!! Peace abd prayers to you, Kboys (and slole).
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Old 10-21-2015, 11:40 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Many hugs sweet friend. You have wonderful advice above, nothing for me to add, but I pray for your safety and the building of strength to never tolerate this type of abuse ever again. You are worth so much more than this treatment.
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Old 10-21-2015, 08:35 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Went back to lurking for a while but wanted to pop in to make sure you hear this...

Yes, Kboys, it really is that bad.
Yes, Kboys, it really is that bad.
Yes, Kboys, it really is that bad.

I'm terrified for you. Keep your boys safe. Keep yourself safe. You deserve so much better.

(((Hugs)))
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Old 10-22-2015, 07:41 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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**hugs** to you.... Sending you strength. Reading this brought tears to my eyes, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please please keep yourself and your precious babies safe. You deserve healing and peace, I hope you can find that soon.
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:04 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Are you even aware of the danger you are in?

You sound naive stating that you "want to be a fun person again " if you
could end up as a murder victim?

Donīt want to pick on you but you do not remove yourself and your kids from this psychopath?

Seriously, seems you might get murdered!
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:14 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Please go to your parents. I was shaking picturing the scene. Get a restraining order he has deep issues.

he doesn't want to hurt you, he wants to destroy you. This is the stuff you will hear on the news.
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:21 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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This is bad. Alcohol no alcohol this guy needs to be in jail.
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:24 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by svenissober View Post
Are you even aware of the danger you are in?

You sound naive stating that you "want to be a fun person again " if you
could end up as a murder victim?

Donīt want to pick on you but you do not remove yourself and your kids from this psychopath?

Seriously, seems you might get murdered!
I appreciate your concern sven And yes I do realize the danger I am in. Yes I have minimized it in the past... but I am now doing what I have to do to keep my children and myself safe. We are staying at my parents' house, 40 miles away.
Yes, he knows where we are. I don't believe he will try to come here. He doesn't drive, for one thing. I feel safe here.
I know it's bad. I know he is not a safe person. I am no longer making excuses for him.

When I said I "wanted to be a fun person again" I was thinking, I need to stay away from this psychopath, abusive AH so that I can be the person that I used to be.... I don't think that sounds naive.

I appreciate everyone's support, concern and validation.

Thanks all!
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:28 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I was swelling up with gladness. I truly am so happy you are Safe.
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Old 11-05-2015, 10:59 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Hi Kboys,

Any update? How are you doing?
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Old 11-06-2015, 04:39 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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OMG, K,

These posts came through while I was away--just saw them this morning.

Please call the shelter and talk with an advocate about a safety plan. I know he's moved out. You still need one. And please consider a protective order. That would give the police the right to arrest him if he even contacts you--it can contain the situation before he is trying to get into your home.

I just took a lethality assessment training in preparation for a presentation I have to give soon--I knew a lot of the principles but had not been formally trained in their application. What you are describing is a situation with a VERY high level of danger--threats to kill, weapons involved, suicide threats, etc.

Please don't underestimate it, nor underestimate the likelihood that he will come back and try to hurt you and/or your kids.

Hugs, sorry I wasn't around when this was all unfolding.
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Old 11-06-2015, 09:54 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Thanks Lexie
I went back and read through this thread just now, and I'm glad I did.
When things are calm, it's so easy for me to forget the ugliness, and the terror I felt so many times during his rampages.

Last night was good. He was gone when I got home, and I didn't hear from him, but yes, I know it's likely he will come back sooner or later.
Most of his belongings are still here... including his truck.
His driver license is still suspended, which is one thing that makes me feel a little bit safer right now. He would have to walk or get a ride to my house from his brother's across town.... or wherever he's staying. Which is not impossible, but just not as easy as it would be for him if he were driving.

Not trying to minimize it, I know the danger is still very real.... and I will still consider getting a protective order.

Thanks!
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Old 11-06-2015, 10:14 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Kboys-have so been there. It IS easy to forget when the drama has somewhat calmed down....but he will return, they usually always do. I've taken many measures to ensure I, and more importantly, my children are protected. Please consider arming yourself for protection (I would not recommend thus unless real danger was present-but the police advised me to arm myself). I truly hope it doesn't come to that But it's best to be prepared in situations like this. He will most likely try to pour on the niceness at some point-it is just an act to get something from you or to try and get you to not go forward with something-btdt too. Please keep us updated!!! Peace and hugs, friend.
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Old 11-06-2015, 05:31 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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((((( K))))). I am so sorry!! I have been out of touch for a few weeks and am just reading this now.
I hope you are doing better! Thank god he is out of the house. Please find a way to protect yourself and your children from this ticking time bomb. Have you considered putting up security cameras?
Do what you need to do.. In the meantime, we are all praying for you!!!
Be well my friend
Ro
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Old 11-10-2015, 01:44 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kboys View Post
When I said I "wanted to be a fun person again" I was thinking, I need to stay away from this psychopath, abusive AH so that I can be the person that I used to be.... I don't think that sounds naive.
Hey... Sorry if I was offensive! No, you seriously deserve to be happy, that is the same thing I want for myself!

I was just really worried about your situation which sounded dangerous.

Again, apologies! (And I hope youīre well!)
S.
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