Kboys

Thanks Sven I appreciate it.

And Ro, My dad brought up the idea of security cameras also...
So far since I've been home, it's been pretty quiet, except some weird texts from him last night.
My phone is right next to me all the time, just in case...

I really appreciate all of you!!

LexieCat

Any contact from him is reason to be concerned.

I'm not sure cameras would provide that much safety, to be honest. You aren't planning to watch them 24/7--at most, they have some evidential value, but your goal is to make sure he stays away, not prove what he's done after the fact. (I once had a DV case where the best evidence was the guy on video that HE installed in the house to keep an eye on HER.) I think a protective order would be better protection. A dog might be good, if you don't have one but could have one--they are pretty good at sensing anyone outside (at least if you get the right kind).

Have you talked with an advocate? Free, confidential, no obligation? I'd really, REALLY recommend it.

Liveitwell

Id recommend as well-made me feel a lot better after going to speak with someone at the Crisis Center.

Kboys

I talked to an advocate about a month ago, around the time when I first started this thread. She advised I file for a protection order, with a move-out order. I have it, and it's ready to file. I used it as my "threat" to AH that I would file it if he didn't move out on November 5th, which he has.
I have not let my guard down by any means, and I have not ruled out filing it.

I have a dog- a queensland heeler. She's a barker, but she's old, and not as sharp as she once was.

AH text me just a little while ago, saying that his mom is coming into town this weekend, and could she pick up the boys and bring them to BIL's house (Where AH is) so they could all visit.
I've not responded. MIL and BIL are not drinkers. I feel like they would be safe with MIL, and would probably have fun. Their six year old cousin will be there. I want them to see their Dad if he's sober... which I'm positive he won't be...
But then again, I think if it was just for the day, even with AH drinking, with MIL supervising, things would be okay...

I'm not sure how to respond.

I know I need to speak to an attorney and work on getting divorce / custody / visitation paperwork going.....

LexieCat

Yes, you need to do that. FYI, if you file for the protective order, it generally includes provisions/conditions for visitation. If the court sees fit to enter the order, you might get a lot more protection in the context of a protective order than you would simply filing through the family court.

Usually if you then file for divorce, the judge handling the divorce would incorporate the provisions of the protective order.

I'd sure be going that avenue if I wanted the maximum protection for myself and my kids.

Liveitwell

What lexis says....

LexieCat

Protective orders are entered more quickly, too, than contested custody/visitation orders entered in the context of a divorce proceeding.