OMG, K,
These posts came through while I was away--just saw them this morning.
Please call the shelter and talk with an advocate about a safety plan. I know he's moved out. You still need one. And please consider a protective order. That would give the police the right to arrest him if he even contacts you--it can contain the situation before he is trying to get into your home.
I just took a lethality assessment training in preparation for a presentation I have to give soon--I knew a lot of the principles but had not been formally trained in their application. What you are describing is a situation with a VERY high level of danger--threats to kill, weapons involved, suicide threats, etc.
Please don't underestimate it, nor underestimate the likelihood that he will come back and try to hurt you and/or your kids.
Hugs, sorry I wasn't around when this was all unfolding.