itsmepoppy

Oh gosh, it's such a sight to wake up to isn't it? AH does the same thing with our PlayStation except instead of soccer, it's the online version of Grand Theft Auto 5, so I'll wake up in the middle of the night to strange voices and belligerent trash talking. The first few times it happened, my first thought was that we had burglars in the living room. The day he discovered that online version of GTA and that he could talk to other players was an awful day. When he gets good and loaded, he'll get into shouting matches with what I imagine are like 15 year old boys.

Boadicea

Ok, let me set the scene for last night's quack:

Before heading off to work (from 1pm - 9pm) I loaded the washing machine, put dinner in the slow cooker, hoovered the house and took the dog out for a walk. AH works from home and spends most of his time in his man cave upstairs.

Upon my return I find the dog has crapped in the living room.

Me: Didn't you let him out while I was gone?
Him: No.
Me: Why not?
Him: I was BUSY.
Me: You could at least have let him into the garden even if you didn't want to take him for a walk.
Him: All right! I know what I did! Stop going on and on and on and on and on. You know what you are? You're a bully. That's right. A bully.

I'm so mean. For shame!

Nata1980

This. Is. Awesome.

Brings back not so fond memories of XAH raging at me ever time I inquired why things were out of order/not done. Mind you, he was a couch surfer for a couple of years - with occasional retail/adjunct faculty job - aka "stay home father". His argument was always - what do you want, I am depressed, you are such a b****

But your dog poo story beats it.

hopeful4

I have been divorced for a while. Backstory, I have two dogs. My first dog I got when I moved into our house 8 years ago. It literally started following me around when I was out for my work, and the owners were going to take it to the shelter the next day, so I brought him back to work with me. No question that he is mine. My X did nothing but complain about the dog from the very first day.

I recently got a puppy late last year. I did so because I wanted to. None of his business, he has never even seen the puppy until yesterday when he dropped off my DD back to my house.

So apparently, when my DD went to visit her dad over the weekend he asks about our pets. She said he then goes on to say he should have taken the dog when we divorced, that he could have. Really? Really???????

I have put up with a lot of crap over my time. I have put up with just about everything from him. But yea...try to take my dog....I will drop kick you into tomorrow. That dog has never belonged to anyone but ME. DD just laughed because her dad is so ridiculous.

I mean, where was he going to take it? To his apartment he lived in for six months who does not allow pets? Then to his new wife's house. I don't think so.

I also have two cats. I got them on purpose. When I first kicked him out, I could not keep him out of my house. At that time it was our house still but he no longer lived there, a transition time if you will.

My other DD wanted a different pet, but we ended up with a cat b/c their dad is allergic, and I love my kitties. At the time I was just working on keeping him out of my house LOL. Legally now he cannot come in, but at that time there was not much I could do. I now find out he still complains that I have cats, yet he has not lived there for almost three years!

Goodness, just when you thought you have heard it all.......

Ariesagain

They just yap randomly. Sometimes they hit the mark, because even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

I'm with you...NOBODY messes with my pets!

Nata1980

R?XAH quack.

To set the scene - nanny #2 aka major pain in the ass quit her job. Good riddance - but puts me in a temporary bind with late night work.

Foolish me, I shared my voes with XAH and asked if he could potentially help out one night per month.

He proceeded to pontificate for about 30 min with advice on who to hire and how. Then he said he may be able to help one night but was not sure. I asked to give me a firm answer and if he could not help that would be fine I just cannot have him commit to helping and then changing his mind.

So then he pontificated another 5 min about how I need to trust people and that all my problems are from not trusting him ever over 12 years of marriage. This is coming from a person who lied about drinking and drugs, cheated on me and stole money from my purse and wrote checks from my account (he stole the checkbook, too). True story.

itsmepoppy

"You just want to have me committed! You would just love that, wouldn't you!" - AH @ around 2:30am this morning. That was in response to me saying "please turn the volume down. One of our neighbors is probably going to call in a noise complaint."

This notion that I want him committed is his mother's doing. She suggested that to him a while back in a move to create some weird little alliance between the two of them. Basically like "the rest of the family thinks you have a problem, but I don't! I'm on your side!" She's in total denial that and whenever there's an incident that stems from alcohol, she insists that some ne'er do well must have drugged him. As you can imagine, it's super helpful when she gets involved.

LemonGirl

We don't live together....

He calls in the evening... we talk a bit. I'm finally relaxing on the couch. (And tell him that's what I'm doing). Him: "well, you sound busy, so I'm gonna let you go... I'll call you later." (Okay, quack)

Around 9pm I get a text of some random picture. (I didn't respond; I was already getting ready for bed and knew he was probably drinking.)

940, him: asks me why I don't like the new show "Santa Clarita Diet"... (I don't respond again... I am already falling asleep in bed)

950, him: now upset because I didn't respond. (He knows I go to bed around the same time every single night)

10, him: tells me he got a good grade in his last class, and says, "oh yeah, you're sleeping...."

1AM, him: "Arythmia"
1:10AM: "f**** yes"
1:15AM: "Q Qataryay"
1:20AM: "F>"
1:20AM: "U"

This morning around 9:50AM: "I rolled over my phone all night. Hope you know I wasn't texting you. It's interesting." "Btw, goodmorning"

Me: "goodmorning"

QUACK!!

Do you think they think they get away with it when we don't say anything? Lol

Seeker21

[QUOTE=charis78;5056169]Oh forgot:

My therapist says I don't have a drinking problem and don't need her (after two sessions)

Lmao! My xabf when I asked if he's talked to his therapist about his drinking. "Yeah, a little, but she doesn't think it's that big of a problem." Second therapist he's had who didn't think it was "that big of a problem". Funny, I've seen several therapists through all of this who all concluded with very little information that he is in the advanced stage of his addiction. WTF are you telling your therapist?? Lol

When me met (God, when I look back now...!)
xabf: Well my second DUI wasn't my fault. I was avoiding an accident and ran off the road. Plus I really wanted a new truck, so I think I manifested that accident so I could get a new truck.
Too bad your new truck had to have a breathalyzer installed for the next year.

My favorite was: You're just too sensitive because you're dad is an alcoholic.
Um, yeah, I know what this ish looks like!!

xabf: Yeah, I had court-mandated AA (but you don't have a problem??) but I didn't like AA because all those people - that's their whole life story. That's not MY whole life story. My life is so much more than that.
Me: It's their whole life story because it took over their whole life before they got help. Also, they are THERE to talk about how drinking affected their lives.

xabf: My life is so much better when I'm not drinking.
...continues to drink.

xabf: I just need some time apart to work on myself.
Me: gives time and space
Cut to six months later....still drinking, behaviors worse than ever.
xabf: I know I can't be in a relationship with anyone right now because I'd just compare them to you.
Next day: Do you still want to know if I sleep with other people?

Oh, the ridiculousness. Thank God for this thread, which gives me the ability to laugh at all the nonsense! Also has really helped me come out of denial that my situation was special - our relationship was special, he was special - nope, just the same as every other alcoholic and codependent!

rescuer

AW explaining why she drank one day after three weeks sober:

"The liquor store on my route was closed. I was fully prepared to resist temptation as I expected it to be open, but I got disconcerted and anxious when I saw it closed. This made me go to a bar. If the liquor store had been open I would probably just have come home without drinking."

!!!!!!!!!!

LexieCat

As an alcoholic, I actually understand that. Now, whether she would have come home without drinking is debatable, but I definitely understand the anxiety of seeing the store closed. Alcoholic brains are broken.

rescuer

Thanks LexieCat. Yeah, it might be unfair to call this a "quack". She was probably being sincere and it's more sad than funny. But still kinda funny

stjacques

Last night, RABF made himself some pasta for dinner and left a pot with pasta in it on the stove. This morning, I woke up before him to find the pot and pasta strewn across the kitchen floor, the obvious culprit being our cat. I alerted RABF to the situation and then went to take a shower. As I was showering, I was getting more and more upset at him for leaving dirty dishes out on the stove, countertop, AND kitchen table YET AGAIN after 100x conversations about it, including since he's been out of rehab, so when I got out of the shower, I tearfully told him that when he leaves dirty dishes all over the place, I feel like he's telling me that it's my job to hover around him cleaning up his messes. There are only the two of us in the house, so if it's not his job to clean up after himself then whose job is it? He looked at me for a second then went right back to staring at his cell phone screen like he does for 80% of his waking hours. So I gave up on the conversation and continued getting dressed. The next time he spoke to me was to accuse me of putting the pot and pasta on the floor myself and blaming the cat so that I could set up a whole scene as an excuse to get on his case about the dirty dishes. All I could say was "that would be f***g insane". But now I'm thinking about how crazy he must be to have thought of it himself.

Nata1980

R?XAH

Scene: we are looking over his visit schedule

Him: "Why is the 12th of March on the schedule I cannot do that".
Me: "you put it on a shedule, would you like to pick a different weekend, like the one after it?"
Him (getting visibly frustrated):"No, of course not, I have to make money, you don't know how it is"
Me:"Ok, I will just delete this visit and we will see you in 3 weeks then"
Him:"but I want to see my son, you have this entitled attitude, you have had it for all 12 years of our marriage, and this is why my family does not like you".
Me:"ok, let's get back to the schedule question"(keep staring at the screen)
Him (clapping his hands loudly in front of my face - trying to get me to look at him) - look at me! You need help, you have problems, for 12 years......🙈🙉

Liz12908155

Soon to be XAH alllll the time

Me: why do you keep sleeping with one leg off the bed (it's bent and foot on the floor)

Him: Because I get dizzy when it's DARK and if I put my foot down I know I won't fall off the bed.

I hate it when the rising of the moon and setting of the sun makes me dizzy too. D*** orbit and rotation.

hopeful4

LOL Liz....when I was in high school I slept with one foot on the floor just like that, to keep from throwing up, drinking was a big weekend recreation at that time in my life.

itsmepoppy

"How's your credit?" - AH wants a new cell phone on Google's Fi program and needs my credit to qualify. We currently have a Verizon account where we are paying for three devices of his that are unusable. An iPhone plus that was dropped so many times it won't even take a charge. An IPad Pro that won't turn on and Nexus pad that was left in the back of an Uber and he was too embarrased to report as lost.

TheHopeful

I can definitely sympathize with that. My boyfriend has gotten more and more suspicious as the alcoholism has progressed.

Yesterday he came home drunk and was angrily flinging his belongings around the house and garden, and then of course when he later woke up and couldn't find his wallet, phone, keys etc, he became convinced that I had hidden them from him. The more I denied it the more insane it felt.

Dontreallycare

A few minutes before bed, I comment to myself that I need to add the water I drank at the restaurant to my total for my FitBit. AH asks how much I drank that day and I tell him about 70 ounces. He reacts by asking if the fitbit would ask me if I was floating and laughing. It then occurs to me that between the restaurant and what he had at home, he drank that same amount of beer in 3 1/2 hours and didn't think anything of it!

Sasha1972

Is it wrong that I am laughing at these?

My contribution:

Alcoholic ex: I am not an alcoholic. All of my many therapists agree that I drink all the time in order to cope with emotional abuse in my family of origin, not because I have a drinking problem. In fact, people describing me as an alcoholic is actually a form of continuing emotional abuse that causes me stress which I relieve by drinking. People thinking that I'm an alcoholic makes me drink.