QUACKERs.... Part 3
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by Liveitwell 
To add some more from my ex: "just because he (family member of his) has two DUIs and still drinks, doesn't mean he's an alcoholic", "wait, that bottle was from a long time ago....that's not recent", "I didn't fall because I was drunk-I'm not drunk damnit-it's an old football injury-you know that, my knee gives out", and my favorite of all time "I don't have a drinking problem, you are the problem bc you have a problem with my drinking". Oh joy-am I glad to be out of that mess. Denial was the family mantra.
Originally Posted by Liveitwell
"just because he (family member of his) has two DUIs and still drinks, doesn't mean he's an alcoholic",
Her parent had a theory about why alcoholics drink, and the logic went that because my ex did not drink for exactly the same reason as her parent's theory of why alcoholics drink, that therefore she was not an alcoholic.
Originally Posted by Liveitwell
"wait, that bottle was from a long time ago....that's not recent"
The thing that first made me realise she was drinking on her own in secret was ...
I did most of the cooking at our house, so I was astounded to see that she was hiding empty full size wine bottles ... inside the refrigerator.
She would lay an empty bottle on it's side behind other things in the back of the refrigerator. I would open the refrigerator to prepare a meal, pull some things out, and find the empty bottle.
I just shook my head and thought "given that I make the meals, how could she possibly think I would not find that ?"
Originally Posted by Liveitwell
Denial was the family mantra.
She had been out in the yard behind our house in the afternoon and I was watching TV. It was getting dark out, a rainstorm was coming, and she hadn't come back into the house yet, so I went out there to see what she was doing.
She was passed out drunk, laying on the ground. On the grass next to her was an empty bottle of wine.
As I picked her up to carry her inside, she stirs, pointed at the empty bottle of wine on the ground and said "that is someone else's bottle".
Even drunk to the point that she had passed out, the first thing to pop into her head was to deny it was her bottle.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
ok, possibly the BEST quack i've heard in a long time.....this was told to me third party, but still............
setting the stage.....addict gets ready to LEAVE the house...at 1am. (usually not a GOOD thing........)
partner: where are you going?
addict: running to the atm to get cash, i'll be right back. (be right back meaning couple, three days)
partner: why do you need to get cash at 1 in the morning??
addict: i need to get it while the rates are low. (meaning that there is a DISCOUNT on atm fees depending on the time of day!??)
setting the stage.....addict gets ready to LEAVE the house...at 1am. (usually not a GOOD thing........)
partner: where are you going?
addict: running to the atm to get cash, i'll be right back. (be right back meaning couple, three days)
partner: why do you need to get cash at 1 in the morning??
addict: i need to get it while the rates are low. (meaning that there is a DISCOUNT on atm fees depending on the time of day!??)
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Had to bump this for the newbies.
Quackers is one of the most powerful threads on this forum! When I have been in relationship with a practicing alcoholic/addict & feeling like I was going crazy, Quackers has saved me!
I fully advise doing the "search" function & starting at Quackers 1. By the time you have worked your way through all 3 multi-page threads you will know - absolutely - that your beloved alcoholic is just an alcoholic, and that you are not insane!!
I have laughed out-loud in my kitchen reading these, from the relief & recognition!
I will contribute a new one, since I'm bumping.
I recently dated a recovering addict that I met in the rooms of NA. He had 28 years clean. We went on 3 (count 'em - 3) dates. All of them began with the intention of going somewhere, and all ended up consisting of going to his house - to "watch movies," because he was too tired to go out.
I got a series of text messages at work after the third date that were super sexual. This is not the place to go into the exact words, but they were graphic & expressed a "physical pain" that had to do with how "aroused" he was (add your own details). I sent a text back saying simply "please don't text messages like this to me at work." That night we had an awkward phone call in which he insisted that no woman he'd ever dated had refused such messages, "including a lawyer," which he restated multiple times.
Finally he conceded (after saying - "just stop regurgitating. I get it. My ex was a regurgitator too") that he would "never do it again. End of discussion."
A few days later, he accidentally sent a photo of a woman (a real woman, with all the real-photo real-life stretch marks & little pimples that are real) wearing underwear that said "all you can eat" to me at work, followed by multiple texts saying "sorry" "sorry" "sorry." I can only assume he intended to save it & accidentally forwarded it.
Fast forward. I told him I didn't want to date him anymore. 2 weeks later he sent an Amazon ad (with a leggy airbrushed girl wearing panties that said "he's my man" or something similarly innocuous.) He texted "I can't believe you broke up with me just because I wanted to buy you funny panties for Christmas! It was an Amazon ad!!"
Hahaha! Wow. It took two weeks to figure that plan out...
28 years clean. Seriously. If you don't do the work of self-awareness, sober doesn't change anything!!
Quackers is one of the most powerful threads on this forum! When I have been in relationship with a practicing alcoholic/addict & feeling like I was going crazy, Quackers has saved me!
I fully advise doing the "search" function & starting at Quackers 1. By the time you have worked your way through all 3 multi-page threads you will know - absolutely - that your beloved alcoholic is just an alcoholic, and that you are not insane!!
I have laughed out-loud in my kitchen reading these, from the relief & recognition!
I will contribute a new one, since I'm bumping.
I recently dated a recovering addict that I met in the rooms of NA. He had 28 years clean. We went on 3 (count 'em - 3) dates. All of them began with the intention of going somewhere, and all ended up consisting of going to his house - to "watch movies," because he was too tired to go out.
I got a series of text messages at work after the third date that were super sexual. This is not the place to go into the exact words, but they were graphic & expressed a "physical pain" that had to do with how "aroused" he was (add your own details). I sent a text back saying simply "please don't text messages like this to me at work." That night we had an awkward phone call in which he insisted that no woman he'd ever dated had refused such messages, "including a lawyer," which he restated multiple times.
Finally he conceded (after saying - "just stop regurgitating. I get it. My ex was a regurgitator too") that he would "never do it again. End of discussion."
A few days later, he accidentally sent a photo of a woman (a real woman, with all the real-photo real-life stretch marks & little pimples that are real) wearing underwear that said "all you can eat" to me at work, followed by multiple texts saying "sorry" "sorry" "sorry." I can only assume he intended to save it & accidentally forwarded it.
Fast forward. I told him I didn't want to date him anymore. 2 weeks later he sent an Amazon ad (with a leggy airbrushed girl wearing panties that said "he's my man" or something similarly innocuous.) He texted "I can't believe you broke up with me just because I wanted to buy you funny panties for Christmas! It was an Amazon ad!!"
Hahaha! Wow. It took two weeks to figure that plan out...
28 years clean. Seriously. If you don't do the work of self-awareness, sober doesn't change anything!!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Ms. Dandy,
I will say that - thanks to Quackers - when such situations present themselves in my dating, single life I know immediately that I'm in the presence of a Quacker!
It is the difference between feeling unsure & confused or laughing heartily & considering myself lucky that quacking is so quickly revealed!!
I prefer the laughing!
Hey, ps, you're doing great. I think you're doing a lot more laughing these days too!!
I will say that - thanks to Quackers - when such situations present themselves in my dating, single life I know immediately that I'm in the presence of a Quacker!
It is the difference between feeling unsure & confused or laughing heartily & considering myself lucky that quacking is so quickly revealed!!
I prefer the laughing!
Hey, ps, you're doing great. I think you're doing a lot more laughing these days too!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Heartcore
Your "friend" is just....ewwww.
I wonder if it is typical of "recovering" male addicts - I always felt super creeped out by certain AA friends of XAH.
My favorite quack from XAH - after we have been separated for at least 8 months and I have been single parenting our son for that long.
Me, at his mom's house: "ugh I am tired".
XAH: "well it is quite obvious you cannot handle parenting our son alone. You are a bad mother".
Me:"??????". It was a first time he saw his son in 8 months.
Alrighty then.
Another one:
" You prevent me from taking to my sons teachers. You won't tell me what school he goes to". He never asked for the name or phone number of a school, teachers, or anything. I suppose I should put it into informational packet for him. Not!
Your "friend" is just....ewwww.
I wonder if it is typical of "recovering" male addicts - I always felt super creeped out by certain AA friends of XAH.
My favorite quack from XAH - after we have been separated for at least 8 months and I have been single parenting our son for that long.
Me, at his mom's house: "ugh I am tired".
XAH: "well it is quite obvious you cannot handle parenting our son alone. You are a bad mother".
Me:"??????". It was a first time he saw his son in 8 months.
Alrighty then.
Another one:
" You prevent me from taking to my sons teachers. You won't tell me what school he goes to". He never asked for the name or phone number of a school, teachers, or anything. I suppose I should put it into informational packet for him. Not!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Nata - no longer a "friend." You're right - ewwww...
I am madly in love with the "block" function on my phone. It enables me to disengage & go "no-contact" with such ease! Blocked & done...
Ps. Re your quack - it sure is hard to go to school functions if you don't know what school your kids attend!! Wow!!
I am madly in love with the "block" function on my phone. It enables me to disengage & go "no-contact" with such ease! Blocked & done...
Ps. Re your quack - it sure is hard to go to school functions if you don't know what school your kids attend!! Wow!!
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: East Coast
Posts: 102
This thread, and parts 1 and 2, really are full of gems!
Here's a favorite of mine from this past fall from stbxah:
Pointing at his brand new SUV, "Yea, that DUI really worked in my favor! Totaled that old car and got this brand new one!"
And he was seriously full of glee about his new car... I was speechless.
Here's a favorite of mine from this past fall from stbxah:
Pointing at his brand new SUV, "Yea, that DUI really worked in my favor! Totaled that old car and got this brand new one!"
And he was seriously full of glee about his new car... I was speechless.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh my gosh, I am dying!!! You just never know what they will say.
" You prevent me from taking to my sons teachers. You won't tell me what school he goes to". He never asked for the name or phone number of a school, teachers, or anything. I suppose I should put it into informational packet for him. Not
My X picked up my daughter from the wrong school one day, we were still married at the time! I could not believe it. And, she told me, he did not! Someone else in the line had to tell him she goes to a different school. I think he has it down now which school they go to, not that he ever shows up for anything (we are divorced now).
My X had a hard time getting though his head I was no longer his secretary/keeper/handler when we got divorced. He just went and married someone else to do it for him LOL!
" You prevent me from taking to my sons teachers. You won't tell me what school he goes to". He never asked for the name or phone number of a school, teachers, or anything. I suppose I should put it into informational packet for him. Not
My X picked up my daughter from the wrong school one day, we were still married at the time! I could not believe it. And, she told me, he did not! Someone else in the line had to tell him she goes to a different school. I think he has it down now which school they go to, not that he ever shows up for anything (we are divorced now).
My X had a hard time getting though his head I was no longer his secretary/keeper/handler when we got divorced. He just went and married someone else to do it for him LOL!
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Not a drunk "quack" per say but still funny.
XAH (on Skype messaging): "I took my drug test will send results tomorrow 😀😀😀" (yes, adorned with not one but three smiley faces. He is addicted to emoticons at the age of 50)
Me: Good
XAH: (Skyping for video chat) "You know, me and my brother were thinking that we have not had deserts for a while - is there any way you could bake us my favorite cake?"
Me: Hmm let's see. No, ain't got time for that. First I was supposed to fetch him informational packets, now cake.
These people 😂
XAH (on Skype messaging): "I took my drug test will send results tomorrow 😀😀😀" (yes, adorned with not one but three smiley faces. He is addicted to emoticons at the age of 50)
Me: Good
XAH: (Skyping for video chat) "You know, me and my brother were thinking that we have not had deserts for a while - is there any way you could bake us my favorite cake?"
Me: Hmm let's see. No, ain't got time for that. First I was supposed to fetch him informational packets, now cake.
These people 😂
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Me: Hmm let's see. No, ain't got time for that. First I was supposed to fetch him informational packets, now cake.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: the real world
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
For future reference, other things that smell "exactly the same" as alcohol include but are not limited to: cat sweat, gasoline/diesel fuel, strong tea, vitamins, anything given to someone by a neighbor and pond water.
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: the real world
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by Nata1980
I wonder if it is typical of "recovering" male addicts . . .
my A/AH* of 24 yrs is in prison for . . .well, take a guess. [*Alcoholic/Addict]Anywho. Yes, just like "real life," some AA men [and women!] are total losers, even if not drinking. But, the most stand-up friends I've ever had, are men [and women!] in AA. "Not drinking" [aka "dry"] does not equal "SOBER."
Continue the quacks please! I'm laughing more than sniffling. Wish I could come up with a quack that hasn't been posted, but no such luck yet. I'm sure there's "stuff" that I just need to remember . . .
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
"I never got into trouble before I moved to this town (not true), and I never even really drank (totally not true).
The cops just have it out for me here. I guess they feel threatened by someone like me (handsome, charming and all their wives probably would want me if they knew me)coming to their town... either that or you have a cop boyfriend who wants me out of his way."
Yep.... not because he was out most weekends at the bar, driving home dead drunk in his hard-to-miss- lifted-look-at-me-I'm-such-a-manly-man truck without a driver's license.... not because of his drunk abusive controlling, stalking behaviors.... not because of the shady, heroin-dealing, well-known-to-the-cops characters he was hanging out with and buying pot from...
Probably just because the cops wanted to mess with him
The cops just have it out for me here. I guess they feel threatened by someone like me (handsome, charming and all their wives probably would want me if they knew me)coming to their town... either that or you have a cop boyfriend who wants me out of his way."
Yep.... not because he was out most weekends at the bar, driving home dead drunk in his hard-to-miss- lifted-look-at-me-I'm-such-a-manly-man truck without a driver's license.... not because of his drunk abusive controlling, stalking behaviors.... not because of the shady, heroin-dealing, well-known-to-the-cops characters he was hanging out with and buying pot from...
Probably just because the cops wanted to mess with him
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