FeelingGreat

Sailor I've just spent a hilarious few minutes with your quack stories. I particularly liked the lesbian belt.

Sailorgirl57

ABF #1 was out of town for work for a few weeks. To save money, he stayed with the Smith family. His cell service was iffy there, so when I called he had to talk at the end of their long driveway. But no matter, how nice of them to take him in, even though he got drunk or high every night...

Two weeks later I am driving through that town, and run into the Smiths at a grocery store. Thank you so much for letting ABF stay at your house! That is so nice of you!

..... (their response)
..... (the weird looks on their faces)
..... (the look on my face as it sinks in)

Um, he’s been staying at Jezebel’s house.

That night...talking to totally hammered ABF who is standing at the end of another woman’s driveway...because of bad cell service...

Me: Who is Jezebel? You lied to me! You are staying at some woman’s house!!! Etc. etc. Are you sleeping with her?

Him: Well, yesh and no. I sleep in her bed because it’s more comfortable than the other bed, but we don't have sex! Of coursh not! How could you even shay that!

Me: That’s BS, I know you are having sex with her!!!

Him: Sailor, I have never been so insulted in all my life. I would never have shex with her. She’s UGLY!! Come on, how could you think I’d do that ???

Once again, I grossly misjudged his standards...😘

Bekindalways

^^^^ Too funny Sailor.

Sailorgirl57

The last email I got from him said, I kid you not, “I had to drink because that one time on December 30 you made me fold the clothes. And it was the weekend.”

See? It IS my fault!

Upsidedown23

Wow this is a great thread! Some of these are hilarious but it’s also just so sad to see.

My ABF quacks plenty but I’m often taken in by them at the time because they are things like:

“I love you, I want to be better for you. I’m trying, it’s just hard”

“Starting tomorrow I’m going cold turkey, promise”

“You hate me don’t you? I don’t blame you, I’m a piece of shit”

“I didn’t mean to, I was just nervous and it was just meant to be one drink to take the edge off the anxiety but I went too far”

“I’ve pushed you too far this time, haven’t I? I wish I was dead so you could be happy”

I wonder if i’d find it easier to walk away if he was angry, accusing, trying to blame me, make dumb excuses as to why he is drunk, or tell me he doesn’t have a problem etc etc... but his quacks are all either self blaming, self loathing type comments, or empty promises and declarations of love and good intention.

I know ultimately that he is just extremely good at telling what I want to hear and that he never ever backs up his words with any actions. And I still fall for them nearly every time.

Pickupthepieces

Almost word for word what I experience.

This is what happens when I use to call him out on lieing about his relapse (gave up on calling him out these days). He tries to turn the tables on me by bringing up a lie of mine from 4 years ago.

Me: We are talking about todays relapse, not about something I have apologized for from 4 years ago.

A: Don't bring up the past it doesn't do us any good. You need to be supporting me now, not bringing up what I did. See, this is what I'm talking about. This stuff causes me to relapse

*Facepalm* uh you brought up the past. He knows what he's saying, he tries to confuse me so I will end the conversation.

Pickupthepieces

I know how you feel, I don't talk about myself to him anymore, he uses it against me.

He uses my own insecurities, or the stress I am going through to find out what exactly to say to me. I either shut up from being heartbroken or give in because he is acting like the person I need. It is not love, it is all a show to get what he wants.

Sailorgirl57

ABF #2 reasons for drinking:

-he said to turn right and I turned left

-in a casino I was watching someone else gamble, not him (for 30 seconds)

-in a poker game I beat him

-I asked him what time it was

-I was loooking across the room, not at him (for 30 seconds)

Boy, I don’t miss this jerk one bit. Cheater, alcoholic, and gambling addict. Verbally Abusive and had a really bad temper. He was such a bad drunk he kept a toothbrush and comb in a ziplock baggie behind the tavern in case he passed out in the parking lot bushes. He ended up moving to Reno. Perfect!! Reno ladies, watch out!

Babescake

The person gets it. He/she is ashamed and horrified from these postings. Why rub it in?

I never learn. Family hates us all. I get it.

trailmix

I don't see the "hate" here.

This is somewhat dark humour Babescake, I wouldn't expect that someone in early recovery would find it amusing at all.

I also don't expect that if someone came to SR looking for support regarding an alcoholic spouse and read the "funny" reminiscences in the Alcoholic Forum that they would find that amusing.

I don't see hate here, I see people expressing their experiences with a bit of humour, nothing more.

Carlotta

Babes, I am a double winner: a sober alcoholic and also someone who grew up in an alcoholic home and whose X was an alcoholic.
At times, I think that calling myself an Alcodie would be more appropriate but it sounds a bit too much like a designer dog

Anyway talking to you as someone who belongs on both side of the fence, I think that the F&F forum might not be the best place for someone in early recovery from alcoholism:
You are in the middle of a divorce and things are way too raw.

The same way than you can go to the newcomer forum or AA to express your hurt and anger, the people on the F&F need a space too.
A lot of them (like you) are in early recovery.

Alcoholism is a family issue which does not affect only the drinker.

You go to AA and you know, some of the war stories shared there would horrify any "normal" person yet people in AA laugh...
same on the quackers thread. People who have been damaged share a bond and like they say: laughter is the best medicine.

I m just a member and I can't (and won't because that would really be codependent of me) tell you where you can read and post but this might not be the safest environment for you.

Also some of the people on this side of SR are newcomers going through some serious s... at home. They need a place where they feel safe and understood. Lots of newcomers in the F&F forum have abusive drunk partners and have nowhere else to turn to to rant, vent and get support. I know you are hurting but try to put yourself in other people's shoes and realize that they are hurting too.

Wamama48

I didn't write this, ladyscribbler did. But I've been laughing at this for 3 days!!!!! Cats sweat? It just cracks me up! 😂
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
For future reference, other things that smell "exactly the same" as alcohol include but are not limited to: cat sweat, gasoline/diesel fuel, strong tea, vitamins, anything given to someone by a neighbor and pond water.
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).

DesertEyes

This thread got too big for the server and is continued over here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-4-a.html (QUACKERs.... Part 4)

Mike
Moderator, SR