Complexiti

Sorry where do I go to talk?

Anna

Right here where you are.

Welcome!

We can offer lots of support.

dorito281211

Welcome! How are you doing today? Happy Saturday

Complexiti

Can't work this place out - where to post - and no way of knowing if someone has answered unless I keep my computer open here all the time.

And I am so tired and need to sleep but if I switch off the computer or even go somewhere else I can't find this again.

Dee74

you'll get used to it Complexiti - it's a bit bewildering at first, but it really is pretty simple once you get the hang of it

You can always click 'my posts' (near the middle of the big blue toolbar* that runs across the top of every page here)

then click on my threads that drops down as an option - that will take you to back to this thread

Welcome

D

*This is the same as least's 'big blue bar' LOL

least

do you mean chat? chat is on the dark blue bar top of page on the right side. click on it for a menu.

CaiHong

Hi Complexities,
Welcome to the forum.
CaiHong

Complexiti

No, not chat - can't really do chat. Mean just talk as in type here.

Too frightened to do chat.

Too many reasons and don't want anyone to knw I am here.

ontherightpath

Hi complexiti, u can post your thoughts and feelings here, or start a new thread. When people read it, they will respond. We are here to support each other. Welcome to sr!

jocata

Welcome complexiti. It's completely anonymous. No one is going to know who you are unless you want them to.

Can you at least tell us what you are struggling with. I promise you are not alone with it.

God bless.

choublak

I hope you're okay and not in a dangerous situation. There are forums here for alcoholism and addiction, and if you are living with an alcoholic/addict, there are forums for that, too.

Complexiti

I am drinking and I feel so ill. Can go weeks no drink then start again and that is where I am now. Been drinking for maybe a week now.

Don't have much left and know I will feel even worse when it has gone and the alcohol tries to leave my system.

I hate it. I suppose I am drunk but I am a functioning alcoholic and can hide it but I know I am probably drunk. And I know how bad I will feel when this wears off and I have no more alcohol in the house.

I hate myself

artsoul

Welcome, Complexiti -

I'm so sorry you're in a bad place - we all understand what that feels like. It's hard to stop after a week of drinking and could even be dangerous..... Can you get to a doctor or ER? I know it's the last thing you probably want to do right now (especially when you're feeling sick), but sometimes we just have to be willing to accept help.

Drinking took me to a dark place and made me hate myself, too. You don't have to live like this. We're here to support you, so keep posting/reading.:ghug3

jocata

Complexiti, you are on a forum where people understand exactly how you feel. There is life beyond the bottle my friend. We are here to support you. Keep reading other threads and please keep posting how you are feeling and thinking.

I promise you are not alone in this.

God bless.

2granddaughters

You are certainly one of us. Looking forward to hearing more from you as we go along.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R.

Dee74

many of us know exactly how you're feeling - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Complexiti

Getting to a doctor or ER is out of the question - sorry but I cannot go into details as to why.

I have just one drink left in the bottle [vodka] and have the choice of drinking it now, saving it so that the morning wake-up desperation feeling will go, or chucking it down the sink.

I know what I should do but knowing what I should do is not an easy option for me.

Must explain - I think this is a US site? I am not in the US so sorry if I should not be here.

I am also very wary about saying much and no, it is not the alcohol that is making me paranoid, but I do not want to say much about me or where I am.

It is enough to know that I am an alcoholic. I accept that fact. Have known for many years that I am an alcoholic. And know that I have to stop drinking.

But it is hard. Because alcohol blanks out all the bad things, blanks out physical pain - and just does its best to destroy my health.

I suppose I am drunk but think I am actually capable of talking logically?

HenryKrinkle

Stopping drinking without medical supervision is dangerous at best and may result in death. Only you know the reason why you can't go see a doctor. You have declined to share that with us. You are going to have to decide if risking death from alcohol withdrawal is a better option than doing whatever it takes to see a doctor that will help you. Of course, the other option is to continue drinking, which will lead to further misery and probably death, sooner or later.

It is clear from your posts that you need to stop drinking, and it is good that you acknowledge that.

Yes, as you say, "it is hard." But, nothing is going to improve unless you seek help and stop drinking once and for all. All of the bad things, blanks, physical pain are going to persist until you figure out away to stop putting poison in your body. It appears to me you are having a really hard time doing this on your own. I would really encourage you to seek help to deal with this.

Complexiti

I am safe, I know that. I also know how suddenly stopping drinking can affect me. I have been there before and know I will have at least 24 hours of the shakes, feeling terrible - have diabolical diarrhoea - and then I get over it and say never again, I will never drink again.

And I can be alcohol-free for a week, a month - even longer, but then I find that I have bought another bottle and so it starts again.

The vodka has gone. Down the sink. So I have none in the house.

Whether I will have the courage and strength not to buy another bottle tomorrow is something I do not know.

I am an alcoholic. I know that. I also know that I really do want to stop drinking but at the moment it is something I need help with, and where I live I cannot get that help.

I hope I will be able to find it here, if you will please accept me and my hope.

Dee74

We're an international site

I'm sorry to hear that because it's absolutely the safest and most responsible thing to do.

I detoxed by myself a lot, with no apparent last effects - but the last time - with no change in my drinking behaviour - I had some ministrokes.

Not everyone nearly dies of course - but noone here can predict the course of your withdrawal or what other problem you may have.

I will forever carry the legacy of my last detox - nothing is more important than your health and well being, Complexiti

whatever your reasons are for not seeing a Dr, I hope you'll reconsider them

D