I am safe, I know that. I also know how suddenly stopping drinking can affect me. I have been there before and know I will have at least 24 hours of the shakes, feeling terrible - have diabolical diarrhoea - and then I get over it and say never again, I will never drink again.
And I can be alcohol-free for a week, a month - even longer, but then I find that I have bought another bottle and so it starts again.
The vodka has gone. Down the sink. So I have none in the house.
Whether I will have the courage and strength not to buy another bottle tomorrow is something I do not know.
I am an alcoholic. I know that. I also know that I really do want to stop drinking but at the moment it is something I need help with, and where I live I cannot get that help.
I hope I will be able to find it here, if you will please accept me and my hope.