Anna

I hope you change your mind about the dr or ER.

Please let us know how you're doing.

jocata

We are here for you complexiti. You can at least share your thoughts and feelings with us. We can share our experience, strength and hope with you. Just keep reading as many threads as u can. There are online anonymous support groups you can hook up with. Tons of help and support.

Don't give up my friend. You can whip this enemy.

God bless.

choublak

You will find support here, but as far as detox and medical help goes, you are responsible for that.

You are able to leave your house, so that's not why you can't get help. I'm sure there is SOMETHING available where you live, wherever that is.

Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of. It simply is what it is.

People here understand where you are coming from. They will listen (read) and give their feedback, share experiences without any judgment.

GirlFromCO

Hi Complexiti,

Welcome to SR. Nobody here is going to try to find out who you are, so please don't worry. We only know what you tell us about yourself. SR has been a great resource for me as I've struggled to recover from my addiction to alcohol. Everyone comes here with the hope of getting better. You can come here anytime, day or night, and there's always someone to talk to Nobody will judge you for what you're going through because many of us have been where you are.

Complexiti

I feel terrible this morning but I knew I would. Frightened. Just want to get through the day now.

HenryKrinkle

Hang in there Complexiti. Just remember that going to the store and buying more alcohol will just prolong the bad feelings. Removing the alcohol is the only way to start feeling better.

You can do this. Lots of people here at SR have done it, and you can too. It may be painful at first, and it may be a struggle, but it can be done, and you will feel better if you can stop the drinking.

Complexiti

I can't go to the store, I am far too wobbly to go out. Also raining on and off and I can't go out in the rain. Just got to hang on about another 4½ hours and the store will be closed so can't buy any after that.

I am very cold - can't eat anything - no bread so can't even make a sandwich but not hungry - just feel sick and so angry with myself as I knew this was going to happen once I bought that first bottle. Think I have bought and drunk two x litre bottles of vodka and one litre of wine last week. Bought last bottle Friday but still had some left so I don't know why I bought that bottle.

I say each time I get over feeling so ill like this that never again, and then when I'm feeling fine again I think oh well, another bottle won't hurt will it. And the viscous circle starts again.

Have to go to the store to buy food and those horrible bottles are just sitting on the shelves and I have to pass them to get to what I need. He used to have them in the far corner but moved everything round and now they are just inside the doorway so no way of getting past them.

sobersloan

Good morning Complexiti

How are you feeling? I know it's tough.... detoxing is the worst, but if you can make it today without buying a bottle you will have won a small battle.... small battles win the war. Please know you are loved and supported. We've all been where you are now.... making that decision not to drink. In fact, it's a decision we continue to make every minute of every day.

Despite what we may want to think, there is no such thing as functional alcoholic. Booze affects all aspects our life from decision making, to relationships and muscle control.

Talk to us!! We're here for you.

Complexiti

Well I am still here, which I suppose must mean that I really really do want to stop drinking. I did not go over to the store yesterday and even though it is not raining this morning so I could go, I am going to do my best not to - I need some things but do not trust myself to go past those rows of alcohol and not just pick one up.

Store closes in about four hours and is not open again this afternoon so I should be able to manage another four hours.

I felt really ill yesterday and kept falling asleep at the computer from about 8pm but have to stay up for someone's medication. Gave up and gave it an hour early then actually slept for about about 9½ hours so she had it nearly two hours late this morning - a gap of nearly 10 hours when she is supposed to have it every 8 hours.

I feel better that I finally had some proper sleep but it is not good for me to be in bed that long really as it hurts physically, and bad that her medication times were messed up. Hope she will be OK.

Dee74

have you got something you can set as an alarm Complexiti?
a watch, a clock, a mobile phone?

D

Complexiti

I have an alarm clock but can never hear it. The problem also if it did wake me I would not be able to get back to sleep, so had I gone to bed 8pm and set it for 11pm I would then be awake most of the night.

Viscous circle really.

But I did not buy a bottle yesterday as I couldn't get out and by the time it stopped raining the store was closed. Only I have to go over there some time today if I can get out and am scared of going past the rows of bottles.

Complexiti

Well I went to the store and managed to get past the bottles although I did so nearly reach out to take one.

I'm not shaky at all but still rather wobbly and still extremely tired, but that could be because of not eating. Just drinking coffee although only two mugs of regular, the rest decaff. Hope the decaff I ordered comes soon as I don't want to have to go to the store again - it's too tempting.

Another hour before I can go to bed.

artsoul

It gets easier......:ghug3
Just picture those bottles with a big label that says "POISON" with a skull and crossbones on it. Like drinking antifreeze.......

Congrats on making it through your first trip to the store!

Complexiti

It was more difficult yesterday when I went to the store again as I had to get something from a shelf opposite the bottles and I automatically turned round and put my hand out to take one. But didn't.

This morning I thought I must go and get something to drink, really must get a bottle for the weekend. Luckily it was raining so I couldn't go as I can't go out in the rain.

soberjim

Hi Complexiti...NIce to hear you didn't get anything yesterday! Like artsoul said. Try to imagine those bottles as "POISON".

Jim

Complexiti

Still managing but the problem is that now the alcohol has presumably left my system I am feeling reasonably well and that little voice is niggling in my head saying go on, you are ok now so go on and buy another bottle, it won't hurt.

I know I mustn't give in but that voice is so insistent and it's very hard to ignore it.

Dee74

The problem I found with white knuckling (just trying not to drink day after day) is it's very exhausting and when I got tired I got vulnerable.

I think it's vital to find support and use it, and to make real changes in your life.

Can you think of anything at all to add what you've been doing, complexiti?

D

Sapling

Try drinking something like Gatorade instead of coffee...That's what they pumped into me in rehab...The electrolytes helped a lot. I actually grew to like the stuff. You can't keep depending on the weather...Try going to an AA meeting...It can't hurt to be around people doing the same thing you are. Make a list of what you need at the store. No alcohol...Get it....And get out.

Complexiti

Looks like I am still here. Still have not bought a bottle. If it is OK I would like to stick with this thread for the time being and not look through the rest of the forum because I feel I must concentrate on myself. Concentrate on not buying any alcohol. Concentrate on trying not to want any alcohol.

It's difficult.

For reasons I can't explain there is no way of me going anywhere to shop except the little store and there are no AA meetings anywhere near where I live. I can't get out in any case. Also different culture, different language. Don't want to say any more, can't say any more.

This forum, this thread, is my only way of helping myself to stop drinking because as long as I can write here and say no I didn't buy a bottle and no I didn't have a drink yesterday then it means I mustn't buy a bottle today.

See if I keep writing here and I give in to my weakness then I will have let you all down.

Dee74

then I hope it gets easier for you, Complexiti

D