Sapling

That's the second time I've heard that on this site....I have this vision of this colony of drunken CIA operatives living out in the middle of some desert in Africa...I don't know.
Well here is the gig....If this thread is all you have to keep you from picking up...Then give it everything you have. Make it your mission to give all you got to posting here and not having that first drink. Here is the important thing...You won't be letting us down....It's worse than that....You will be letting you down. I know...I did that for far to long....And it sucks. Hang in there...Forget about what you did yesterday...Don't worry about tomorrow...Just don't pick up a drink today.
There is a lot of info on this site to different methods....Websites...Books online...Tons of different sites for different ways to stop this insanity for good. Find one....And put your life into it. While you still have it. I wish you the best....I really do.

Complexiti

Now THAT comment is the one thing that makes me want to leave this forum. I am NOT a CIA operative living in the middle of a desert in Africa or anywhere else. And when I say I can't get out why don't you believe me? I can't spell it out in black and white but I have asked people to believe me when I say I can't get out apart from just going to the little store over the road. I'm still a cripple wherever I live and my only means of getting out are on my power chair.

Who cares where it is? You obviously don't.

So call me what you want. Call me a drunken CIA operative in the middle of a desert, what do you care?

What is this? A "have a go at new people in case they want to be sober" place?

I want to stop drinking. I need to stop drinking, I want to stop drinking and so far since I joined this forum I have not been drinking. So what is this CIA stuff?

Maxxy

please don't leave the forum complexiti - I've just been reading your thread and think you are doing amazingly well. Your thread has certainly inspired me to be stronger. Keep at it

Complexiti

I'm not going and I am going to keep up with not drinking. I was directed to this forum from a mental health forum where I had sought help even though my problems -[apart from being an alcoholic] are physical and not psychological.

Why did I go to that forum? Because I was searching for an online place where I could be anonymous, found that forum, and it is from there that I was directed here.

I am an alcoholic. I know that I am an alcoholic. And I have probably been an alcoholic for more years than I care to even think about. I am also severely physically disabled but that has nothing to do with my mental capacity nor my alcoholism as the accident that caused my disability had nothing to do with whether I had been drinking or not. Anyone could have had the same accident and resulted in the same situation I found myself.

I just feel very strongly that the comment

was totally uncalled for, and it has greatly distressed me, especially as I am fighting my demons so hard. It makes me wonder, and worry, why such comments were made?

liftandrun

Deep breath time. From my perception of this, comments are made out of frustration that a person who is in trouble is not doing everything possible to really stop drinking.

No one knows you here, so it isn't personal.

Sometimes the comments that sting the worst are the ones that need to be heard, however, if you think that what a poster has to say may trigger you to drink you can block them by clicking on the poster's name and choosing the 'block' option from the drop-down box.

I'm new too, let's get through this day and not drink.

GirlFromCO

Hey Complexiti, glad to hear you're staying strong. Like I said before, you're as anonymous as you want to be here. We're all here to talk about our own demons and it doesn't matter who you are or where you live. I'm certain the poster of the comment you found offensive had no ill intent whatsoever. Keep posting - we're glad to have you here Do you have any other means of support where you are, like friends or family members you can trust?

nonblondechef

It is difficult, at times, to read written words without hearing how the writer intended them to be heard. No inflection in voice, no smile, just script on a page. I personally have taken words that have been written to heart when in fact, I totally misunderstood what the author intended. Keep up the great work, Complexiti. We are alll here to better ourselves - welcome aboard!

Smiles,

T

Maxxy

Good. I am glad you staying.

If I'm honest that comment would have upset me too. I would have said - I do not need to explain my personal circumstances to anybody. I am here for support, I have asked for support.

Nobody should have to give their life's details and reasons why they drink to get support and congratulations for doing so well. The same with - nobody should have to follow the same program as others to get well.

I'm one of those that rambles on about my life, my day, my moment of waking up... you name it, I write it, but I also respect that others don't want to do that.

If you just want to post that you got through the day, then that's fine. Everybody has their own ways. I hope you have a good day/night (I'm in UK so usually out of sync with everybody else) Take care

HenryKrinkle

I'm not going to speak for Sapling, but I do understand where he is coming from.

No one is asking you to share your social security number, credit card number, name, address, phone number, or any other information that can be used to identify you. I just think it would be easier for us to help you if we understood more about your situation.

$0.02

Maxxy

I personally find this post patronising. Complexeti said that he couldn't get to meetings and could only get to one store and did not want to give any more information. Why press for for details? Why not just accept everybody at their word and support just the same?

HenryKrinkle

I do accept and support everybody. I've already posted several times in this thread. I just find it difficult to help someone who I feel is trying to be secretive and isn't willing to open up and be honest about their situation. There is nothing about that that is not accepting of other people.

Maxxy

I'll answer this then leave the thread and probably the board.

So because you feel they are being secretive, you struggle to help. Why not read the thread and leave it at that? There are plenty others out there than can help.

isn't willing to open up and be honest It's only been a few days. Not everybody writes their life story in their first few posts.

Who are you or anyone to judge what somebody asking for help should write about themselves?

I fear Complexiti's thread has been turned into a circus now, so I'll leave the board and hope that he/she (sorry!) get's some genuine unconditional support.

HenryKrinkle

That's what I was doing, helping out the best I could. But then Sapling made a comment and a lot of people jumped on him. I was just saying that can relate to his comment and understood where he was coming from.

Again, no one is putting conditions on supporting Complexiti. I'm just making the observation that better help and support could be provided with a more open dialog.

Dee74

let's all relax.

I'd ask everyone to think about how they're putting their message across - some of us are pretty darn raw....what might seem well-meaning, jocular witty or gently satirical to you may be offensive to others.

In the same vein, everyone here has the right to ask questions, providing it's within the rules.

Everyone here has the same fundamental right not to answer those questions.

If a thread upsets you, it's probably best find another thread to post on.

Complexiti - I'm disabled too - although I'm not in chair. I do understand mobility issues and I understand that socialising with others can sometimes be difficult too.

I never went to AA, I never joined any group but SR - but I really really wanted to quit drinking and to change my life.

It took a ton of commitment and effort & a lot of changes but I did it - I believe you can too

I hope you, and everybody else, sticks around

D

Complexiti

I just don't want to say where I live. It isn't in the US and it isn't in Europe but I don't want to say where it is - I'm not being secretive, I just don't want to say where I live. I have my reasons for that, and I came here hoping for anonymity and privacy - a place where I could talk about my alcoholism and how I'm trying so hard to become sober. A place where I could talk about the demon sitting on my shoulder saying go on, buy a bottle, have another drink, it won't hurt you.

No. I won't say where I live. And if by refusing to say I live in X country means that I have to leave this forum then I will.

I am an alcoholic. And I want to stop drinking. So far, since I joined this forum I have not bought a bottle and haven't been drinking.

But my privacy is important to me. So please don't ask me questions that I can't, won't answer. Just accept what I say and what I say is that I am an alcoholic and I want to stop drinking.

And I need everyone here to please help me because I can't do it without help and online is the only way I can get help.

Please don't drive me away from here just because I want to keep my identity private, because I need your help. All of you.

BillyPilgrim

Complexiti, you are totally right, we are here to stop drinking, anything else is up to us. Please feel you can stay, I was scared when I came on this site, as I was when I first went to AA. I dont want all and sundry knowing my business. Getting better is important, let that be your only mantra

Gifford

Complexiti, I too have just had to go to the shop to buy some groceries. I read this thread before I went, and your resolve not to buy booze helped me also. I came back with biscuits and crisps only, so thank you for helping me.

TallWater

Nobody here wants to drive you away, and many of us are proud of you for wanting and needing to stop drinking (and following through). Even though some of us can be brash with our replies we're all here because we want to give and receive as much support as our quiddity allows.

PurpleCat

Complexiti - stay and don't worry about giving up personal information. If you want to share, fine. If you don't, it's none of our business.

I am proud of you that you have resisted so far. You might want to try one of the daily threads for support - February just started in this area, or you can join us in January which is in the support area now. Best of luck to you!

Complexiti

Thank you. I am scared of giving information about myself for reasons I can't explain. As yet I haven't looked anywhere else on the forum apart from this thread maybe because I'm sort of hiding here? Hiding in my thread and therefore in my mind? Not admitting my alcoholism except on this thread and I think if I look elsewhere on the forum I will be opening myself to things I don't want to admit.

I am Complexiti only of course that is not my real name. But Complexiti is who I am here even though it is I, not Complexiti, who is the alcoholic. Complexiti is speaking for me, speaking the words I can't admit to anywhere else but here.

I am an alcoholic. Complexiti isn't. Complexiti is just speaking for me, saying things that I can't say. I can come here and say my name is Complexiti and I am an alcoholic but that doesn't mean that I am pretending not to be an alcoholic, it just means that I don't want to say who I am.

I'm not sure if that makes sense although it does to me. I'm hiding behind a made up name in order to tell the truth about myself, and the truth is that I am an alcoholic and I know it and I have to admit it.

Do I want to stop drinking? Yes. That's why I'm here.

Will I be able to carry on as I am at the moment, not drinking? I don't know, I just hope and pray that I can.

This is not a joke, not a wind-up, it is me. Me who is an alcoholic who is hiding behind the name Complexiti, but I am a real person whatever my name is and wherever I live.

I want to stop drinking. It's as simple as that.