Complexiti

Not to be sneered at by you would be a helpful start.

I was trying. Trying very hard, which is why I found this forum. Wasn't that trying? Or do you still think it was for a joke?

Sapling

What are you trying...Since you have found this site...To get better? To stop drinking for good. Have you looked into any of these yet?

LifeRing-Smart-SOS, CBT, AVRT....

I don't even know what these are...Because AA is my program of choice. But there are people on this site that know this stuff...Have you taken a look at any of these? I really would like to see you stop drinking...Because I know what it does to you...Maybe one of these or something else will work for you...What do you have to lose?

Complexiti

Sapling, I'm sure you are trying to help but I have never heard of an of those. At the moment I'm very tired, very cold, and I don't mean to be rude or nasty when I say things but it's difficult for me not to react when I know people can't and don't understand my situation and I won't say where I live.

I have my reasons for wanting my privacy and if I say where I live I will lose that. I ask you to accept Complexiti as Complexiti whoever/wherever Complexiti is.

I am Complexiti. I am an alcoholic. I am now drinking again but I hate myself for doing it and I honestly want to stop drinking. Not sure what else I should/could say to convince you of that? I'm cold and tired and have more problems than just my physical ones and my alcoholism that I have to cope with, but I can't say what they are on an open forum so I ask you to please accept me as I am and not keep asking me to elaborate.

My name is Complexiti and I am an alcoholic.

Whatever my real name is I am still an alcoholic.

And I want to stop drinking.

Sapling

Forget where you live...I don't think anybody cares...You are looking for a way to stop drinking...Why not make a post asking about those methods and see what kind of support you get on that. It might be the perfect plan for you...You won't know unless you try.

Complexiti

At the moment I am thinking wouldn't it be nice to go to bed, go to sleep, and not wake up again.

Sapling

That will solve about as much as continuing to drink...You can stop drinking...You have to put some effort into it. You can't wish it away complexity...It doesn't work like that.

Terminally Unique

Complexiti,

I just saw this thread, and I see that you value your privacy, and that you cannot get to meetings. Given your situation, Rational Recovery (RR) might interest you. RR teaches a method called AVRT, which can be learned from reading alone. It is completely private recovery, requiring neither meetings nor self-disclosure. There is an active thread on AVRT in the Secular Connections forum here on Sober Recovery. I can also send you additional information via Private Message if you want.

Take care.

Sapling

Thanks TU....That might be just the ticket he needs.

ElegantlyWasted

You can google SMART recovery as well. They have some great free worksheets. Very similar to RR I think. Best of luck!

Dee74

I've removed two posts.

This thread should be about the OPs recovery.

I'd like everyone here to now draw a line under the bickering and refocus, thanks.

let's make a fresh start.
D

SSIL75

You're in a tough spot, complexiti.

You deserve to live out the rest of your years in peace and sobriety. I am many others have recovered without AA, without meetings. Rational Recovery was also my program of choice and even then I used it minimally. I have been sober for 17 months and life on the whole is wonderful.

Again, you deserve to live out the rest of your life in peace.

Complexiti

I'm going to get there. I have to get there.

Complexiti

Feeling bad now as finished what I had and getting the chest pains again.

Complexiti

Not sure I can do it now.

Dee74

I believe you can

In my experience, when I went back to drinking trying to avoid withdrawal, eventually my insatiable appetite for booze overrode what my body could handle - I got sick and I had to stop & withdraw anyway.

Personally I think you're always better off starting sooner than later.

If, as you've said before, medical help is out of the question, you're not left with many options but to just get through it again Complexiti

D

PurpleCat

You can do it, Compelxiti. Believe in yourself!

Complexiti

Can't do it. Keep buying more booze as stopping causes shakes palpitations so need more to stop those. Can't do it. Don't know what to do. Think I'm ill. Really scared now. Very cold.

Dee74

I really think you need to revisit the idea of medical supervision Complexiti.

I know you have your reasons, but no matter how difficult medical care is to access or pay for, nothing is as important as your well-being.

I really hope you'll reconsider.

D

GirlFromCO

I fully agree with Dee, Complexiti. I strongly urge you to seek medical care right away. No matter what has kept you from going in the past, it can't be more important than your life.