Lenina

I'll show you all delivered! LOL.

Nice evening, meeting went well, I expected more film and the speakers were a bit out of touch but they showed up and the food was good. Got a new T shirt. Can't have enough T shirts.

See you miscreants tomorrow!

Love from LeeLee

alphaomega

I saw the Cirque show "O" tonight. It was breath stopping. I was in absolute awe. I couldn't help to think of what these performers demand from their bodies. And how I coykd demand the same from mine.

Well not contortionism and underwater acrobatics. But at the very least, sobriety. No ?

Sober and happy on day two in the land of debauchery and shenanigans.

Sweet dreams to all my silly little freaks.

AddictGuy

alpha,

sobriety and then everything else. today sobriety. tomorrow the world.

trachemys

"silly little freaks"? Who you callin silly and little?

Lenina

AO, aren't the Cirque folk amazing? They come here in October and we've seen a few of their shows....oh my! The music....the costumes....the demands of the body! Breathtaking! I might just see about hopping over to see it again. Do you have time to see the Atrium of the Bellagio? They change it up of the seasons and it's worth seeing, I think. And I think that's where they have that little art museum? It used to be free admission but you needed an appointment. An eclectic collection and worth the time to take a gander (no, AG and Trach, I don't mean dating a Goose bird, I meant having a look you silly boys).

The Rio had a show "The Treausures of Russia" like 25 years ago, we met up with my in Laws there to see it. Poor darling, sweet, innocent FIL did not know where to look while we were in the lobby! The cocktail waitresses about undid him! LOL They used to have a very good sea food buffet too. (Hush again, boys)

so glad you're having a good time! For your ride home, might I suggest ear buds, iPod and eye mask?

Love from Lenina

trachemys

BTDT, ended up in the median.

Lenina

Darling Trach, I believe AO has a driver. I would take a very dim view of my drivers being blindfolded and tuned up. We pay for airline tickets so we can enjoy the quick trip.

Hey, I saw a poor little turtle who grew up with a plastic six pack ring thingy around its middle! wowie!

Love from Lenina

strategery

The good thing is that AO wasn't the co-pilot.
Just for fun....

trachemys

You didn't know that our shell is basically skin? And it grows like that? Well, not everyone is into herps.

alphaomega

Good eve my little kukalala's

Good news is all cab drivers today had all their faculties about them. Can't say the same for the cabs themselves though. Seats missing and wads of bubblegum stuffed in the cup holders. This whole city smells vaguely of a toilet. Nothing a little dangly rear view mirror alpine air freshener can't mask. I return home and want to dip myself in hand sanitizer.

I had a meal tonight that actually gave me goosebumps. That is not an exaggeration. I heard much hullabaloo regarding Nobu and figured it couldn't possibly live up to the hype. Well, old DeNiro raised the bar, the catapulted right over it. Nom nom.

Saw Elton John. Old chaps still got it. Goosebumps continued right through the show.

Finished the night with biscotti from the Cake Boss guy. I dont know who this guy is, but I would like to marry him. And have his powder sugar dusted babies. The biscotti, coupled with an Americano ? Who needs alcohol ?

Tomorrow we will hike the Red Rocks. I'm so excited I probably won't sleep.

Thanks for letting me share my moments with you. I'm so joyful to be doing this sober.

I *will* celebrate 100 days on Sunday. Ain't nothing stopping me this time.

XO AO

Lenina

XO((((AO))))OX. I'm so very happy for you! I haven't been to LV in some years but the cabs haven't changed I see. For me, it's a distinctly unglamorous city. Lots of sparkles and flash that doesn't stand up to scrutiny, IMO. have seen some good shows but that was a long time ago,

So very happy you're having a faboo time! With sprinkles and sparkles and all! avoid that roller coaster in New York, New York.

I love the the spring time desert! The blooms, the subtle changes. Oh my the sun rises and sun sets. The early morning starry skies. Be careful of the jumping cholla. They hurt bad.

Do keep us updated!

love to all the creatures, feathered and scaled, sleek and furred!

LeeLee

Della1968

Finished the night with biscotti from the Cake Boss guy. I dont know who this guy is, but I would like to marry him. And have his powder sugar dusted babies. The biscotti, coupled with an Americano ? Who needs alcohol ?

LMAO!!!!

puffy

Robby... if you are around... I was just curious if you received any test results yet? Only if you want to share, please do. Want to know how you are doing?
Puffy.

RobbyRobot

Thanks Puffy.

No results as yet on the biopsies taken last Sunday and Monday. This week coming likely. Waiting is so boring and brings its own anxieties into play. They suspended treatment for my original throat problems (acid reflux damage) when they noticed on the scope I had two swollen lymph nodes. I was scoped twice Sunday and Monday respectively.

So for now, I'm absolutely restricted to fluids as I'll throw up anything as thick as yogurt. This is way better than I was a week ago when I went to emergency at that time I was throwing up even water. When they scoped me, they forced slightly open the sphincter muscle which is between the throat and stomach. So water, milk, juice, broth are okay. I drink enriched nourishment meal drinks like Ensure and Boost etc. I also can eat ice cream and popsicles. That's about all that's on the menu for now, lol.

I also now take special melt-on-my-tongue antacid pills to calm my reflux. They taste like candy, lol. For other meds like headache pills and so on I now have a pill crusher. Grinds it down to a powder which I mix a little with water and that works.

Melissa and I are holding up. I'm sleeping a lot more than usual. My stomach always feels hungry and unsatisfied. I manage to ignore it mostly.

I'm naturally a bit anxious about the pending results. Worrying doesn't bring me anything useful, so I mitigate it as best I can. I've been through a lot already in my life experiences medically speaking, so I'm able to use those past trials and endurances to aid me today. I'm grateful I'm sober goes without saying.

Cow

Hello, belove tin can. I going through lot of medical stuff my self now. If I may, between you anxieties of diagnosis, the reflux, the swollen lymph, the testings, the hunger, the possible outcomes ...does you really cast off worry so easy? How does you mitigate this?

For me, I furious. But you have genuine acceptance. I look up to that, even though I not understand it. ~Moo Mwah

Leshar

Hello Robby and Cow,
I'm sorry to hear of your medical problems.
I have some too, comes with ageing. For me, accepting what is, is the only way to deal with it. Dealing with the present moment and what I can do in this is what I'm paying attention to at present.

Dee74

best to you Robby...and you Cow

D

RobbyRobot

(((Cow)))

I appreciate what you're saying friend. You know, its really my practiced ability from childhood to separate my thoughts from my feelings, and when required, keep them both distanced from my present "now" awareness. Once well separated and distanced, I can almost freely choose like working a dimmer switch whatever I want to tone down, including fears and anxieties. I believe I'm good at this from my experiences growing up as a polio survivor what with all those medical treatments and full body casts which one stint kept me in plaster in bed for 9 months. I missed a whole year of school. Grade 8. Earlier on I missed out on parts grade 5 into grade 6. I've spent over two years altogether in full body casts. This created huge opportunities to just chill and think, you know? It was like being imprisoned into a very small external world. My inner world was vast and unlimited in comparison to my raw external realities. I was never just the same coming out of those casts as I had been going in, you know? Since I was still an adolescent, these experiences changed me on fundamental levels.

I believe also my triumph over my alcoholism and mental illness has clearly proven to me I'm much more than just the summation of whatever makes me me, if you will. Schizophrenia mixed with alcoholism is one crazy train-ride, and had brought me unwillingly to some very dark and surreal experiences. Surviving all that has distinct benefits.

So yeah, I suppose its really about how I appreciate both my failures and my successes in life to help me define how I react to sudden misfortune. After my initial reaction is in play, I'm able to create chosen responses to mitigate my worries and fears. I still have them of course although at a much reduced level which is entirely workable. Once I have them diminished, its now much easier for me to examine rationally what is actually going on with me internally.

Its funny, I went to emergency a week ago today, Saturday. While there, my examining doctors and nurses often commented I didn't at all present as one who was undergoing severe dehydration. In fact, one doctor asked me to show how I could not even hold sips of water down as I had said I couldn't. So I did show. I took one little sip and my voice obviously changed, and one more sip and I immediately threw up into the sink much more than I had just sipped. This got me admitted on the spot and they scoped me on the Sunday and Monday. Apparently I'm rather opaque even to a trained observer. Sweet.

I have an extremely high pain thresh hold as well. Not just to physical pain and hurt, but also to emotional and mental pain as well. This is why I'm closer to a robot than whatever else human, lol.

I hope this was helpful as an insight into how I mitigate my internal struggles with my hardships. Thank you for asking friend.

Cow

Hi Robot, I always appreciate you words. ((bionic hugs))

I also has very comprehensive imagination ability from youth. And very high dissociation from pain. In fact, I choose intense pain during my cutting/self harm years, so pain no bother me much.

But now, when I think about hope for future, I realize, I not have capacity to suffer any more. I just not want to suffer any more. And none of my previous accomplishment or tolerance or endurance mean anything. Somehow, you come to much more positive outcome. I so glad you triumph and making best of you situations.

Moo Mwah, my friend.

RobbyRobot

You know, I too reached a point when I just couldn't endure another ounce of suffering. At the time I was drinking chronically. This final inability to resolve my suffering became my ideal bottom. Yes, I did not quit drinking simply from this realization. What happened was I began to appreciate how mortal I actually am. With my loss of hope for my future, I was of course overwhelmed with new depths of despair and misery. This opened me to the realization I was committed to actually drinking myself to an early death. Sure as spit I was. When you actually look death in the face and you see yourself looking back, its harrowing.

Cow, when all we have left for ourselves is nothing, at this same moment of taking stock of ourselves, being honest about our hopelessness, we also have a window of opportunity to change up our game plan into something that doesn't require emotional investments of hope. For me, hope isn't a feeling. Hope is more about how our imaginations can lift us from a slimy pit of morass to a clarity of vision which only a believer in the powers of human imagination sincerely appreciates. Hope empowers ourselves beyond our past endurances and capacities. Hope enriches opportunities for achievement no matter the circumstances. Hope is so powerful absolutely because of imagination's empowerments.

I hear you (((Cow))). Myself, I suggest you take another look at your past experiences with a mind not to how whatever failed, but more to how you survived even with such failure. Sure, by survival you lost something, it cost you, yes, of course. Nonetheless, there exists a real opportunity to take those experiences of survival and rebuild yourself differently. Please review your past experiences with an eye towards revolution of self.

Hey, I believe in YOU