Chasing555

Hi All. I struggle and have for years. I am also very psychological about the ways I try to rethink ideas of how to feel "okay" with things. It seems my problem is I feel like I am in too deep . After 12 years of drinking its part of the fabric of my flesh.

Monday when I had a pretty bad hangover I had a bad night sleeping that night. We all know what happens on the first night of sobriety and the second and the 3rd.

I thought to myself, "I cannot be anymore sober than I am right now." I was sober for real. And instead of me dwelling on this is day 1 or 2 which ever it was I forget, I decided to say this is the best I can do. I am sober and I can't get anymore sober than sober. So if I am sober on day 2 how is that any different than sober on a year, or two years, or 10? There isn't a difference.

My point being and I am trying to tell myself this is if I am sober I have have given 100% and have succeeded. All the work has been done. So that feeling of being to far in the hole is a false sense of reality because I am sober and i can't get anymore sober no matter how many years.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but thats just a silly idea I told myself the other day.

have a good one all

Soberintexas007

I have often thought about this idea myself. I have thought that if I only have one day sober, then I am just as sober as someone with 10 years. The difference, however, is that the person with 10 years is probably not dealing with as much craving as I am on Day 1, and so they may be more serene in their life than I am at Day 1. Also, I am guessing that someone at 10 years is a bit more confident that they will not relapse as easy as someone who has one day and has been chronically relapsing. The person with 10 years has probably learned to cope with triggers, etc.

QuietToday

Very true! When you're sober that is the peak, and so when you feel good sober, whether it's day 1 or 100, then ultimately that goodness is what you are striving to maintain forever.

If it works--- well, it works! Whatever keeps you sober and committed, keep it going!

Chasing555

I know what you mean Justbreathe. I have my moments of strength and moments of weaknesses.

But to just keep this a light conversation and upbeat you could always pretend you have 10 years. There is nothing stopping you from that. I am not saying go around lying about it. But inside your mind just pretend you kicked it and its gone.

Theoretically this would work. In practice it may not unless you are on your toes.

Chasing555

Hello,

We would feel better at day 100 right? Yes. But there is nothing more we can do to be "more sober." Deed was paid in full since we became sober so why even count days? Just enjoy the day.

Nevertheless

I have to disagree. When I was sober even a few weeks,booze still had my mind screwed up. I had to be sober several months before I looked back and realized just how much booze was running my life. It is something I was somehow blocking out early on.
Alcoholism is an injury,both mentally and physically. And it takes time to heal. So,I have to respectfully disagree. It takes several months to heal,and you can indeed be more sober than you are the first few days or weeks. And the feeling of regret,or being in a hole also takes time to heal and go away.

Fred

bookmaven

First and most important, if that is helping you stay sober it doesn't matter what I think.

It takes time to heal and although you might have a zero BAC your brain and body need time to recover just as much as someone who had a major operation. It's just that we can see that the surgical wound has healed and the stitches are ready to come out, but there is often weeks if not months of physical therapy and it takes work to rehabilitate the surrounding tissue and organs.

I see my own path kind of like that. I can't just quit alcohol and think everything is going to be peaches and cream, I have to retrain my brain into thinking like a sober person. I wouldn't get a knee replacement and then lay about all day because what difference would it make if I don't do the exercises to get the new knee to work properly? Bad knee or new knee that doesn't work have the same detrimental effect on my physical activity. But at least with the new knee and the exercise I have a fighting chance to overcome the original problem. So abstaining from alcohol AND training my brain to think like a sober person are equally important.

Well I hope that makes sense. It's really past my bedtime lol. Sometimes I get addicted to SR.

IOAA2

Hi.
Sober today has a meaning of being without alcohol in the body.
That’s the goal for a recovering alcoholic one day at a time in a row.

In the overall scheme of living in recovery that goal is painful for a relatively short period of time and becomes much easier with time IF we let it by working on our sober recovery which to me is healthy mental and emotional living and thinking. This is where so many fail and live a life of misery and early a miserable death.

This process requires a lot of changes in the way we thing and act on our thinking process.

This finally happened to me when I surrended to the fact I could no longer drink alcohol one day at a time in a row.
After that point I/we started to follow the directions of those with a good recovery history, which means time accumulated.

It will work if we work it.

BE WELL

doggonecarl

You may not want to count the days sober. But you do accumulate them, nonetheless. How? There is the "work" of getting sober and the "work" of staying sober. Don't slack off on the latter.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Chasing

Boleo

IMO there exists another level of sobriety sometimes called "Emotional Sobriety". It is a state of mind rather than a state of biology where emotional disturbances are less severe or at the very least, less frequent.

I myself had to do a lot of inventory before I began to see it, but a lot of times that I get disturbed are avoidable. I am not only responsible for my own happiness, but am at least partly the cause of my own disturbances as well. Most (if not all) of my suffering and misery is really about me having unrealistic expectations of how others should act or how the world should be run. I can be happy when everything goes wrong, or I can be miserable when everything goes right. It is my attitude which makes the difference, not just outside circumstances.

Some call it serenity. Some call it equanimity. I call it Spiritual Detachment.

tomsteve

Sober as in without drink just involved me not drinking any more. But I could be a LOT more sober- sober as in of sound mind.
Sober today is an extreme amount different than it was ten years ago.
I can always do better.
I shoot for perfection and accept progress.

Gottalife

The measure of sobriety is not the time since the last drink, it is the distance from the next. Was it Bill W who said that?

If sobriety was about repeating the first day sober, or second or third, what would be the point? My pattern as I later discovered was to keep making the same mistakes in my day to day life, which always lead me back to drinking.

It wasnt until I embarked on a program of change and spiritual growth on a daily basis, that I was able to stay sober. And almost everyday was different as I began to develop that spiritual detachment.

I was a very different person at ten years compared to ten days. Maybe the biggest difference was the ability to see the truth about myself. I was never too keen to look at that when I was new, until I saw very good reasons why I should.

SDH73

Hi, Chasing! I hear you, if you're sober you're sober. Enjoy it! Get out and live your life! No need to be dour and mopey.

I will say that in my case, stopping all the drinking was just the first step toward a life that I'd like to lead. Whether or not I'm interested in doing recovery work it just has to be done. Talking my AV down, getting through emotional days (I'm a dude, but I've had some rough emotions over the last couple months), anxiety, depression, etc. All things that I had to learn to deal with in a healthy way (or rather, am learning to deal with). And I'm sure there are plenty more lessons heading my way.

That said, this is your sober life...have a blast!

Fly N Buy

Hi Chasing, glad your with us!
I've never posted this before, but I promise you you're in the right place!

The world record for sobriety is 24 hours - all here today who have that have tied it. We only have today, just a daily reprieve is what I have learned and agree with.

That said, there is much cumulative knowledge gained about living sober(hmm, I think that's a book) from others. Kind of a road map for those who've come before so I don't have to totally reinvent the wheel - just how I drive the car.

Today I stay sober, give thanks in the morning and evening for my sobriety and learn about life.

Thanks for being part of the team! Welcome!