AVRT Crash Course
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Zen, please don't let it eat away at you, that's what IT wants. You didn't go into vertigo completely, you stopped at a couple of sips and immediately reaffirmed your Big Plan.
The way I see this incident, which will never happen again, is you've now made a Big Plan that is firmly set in stone, forever. Please go forwards, with no recriminations, no self-doubt; for those thoughts are the fodder the Beast thrives on and will force -feed you, in order to go on to suggest a drink as a solution.
This episode is firmly behind you. As you've stated "You will never drink again, and you will never change your mind".
The way I see this incident, which will never happen again, is you've now made a Big Plan that is firmly set in stone, forever. Please go forwards, with no recriminations, no self-doubt; for those thoughts are the fodder the Beast thrives on and will force -feed you, in order to go on to suggest a drink as a solution.
This episode is firmly behind you. As you've stated "You will never drink again, and you will never change your mind".
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Zen I know you can , and I believe you will, hope you do too.
Another take away form this could be to shut the door on the AV on the whole idea of being 'early' in your BP.
In a couple posts about your trip, your AV kept reminding you how 'early' it was and therefore how nearly impossible sticking to a BP such a trip (insert anything here) is 'going' to be , you know so early and all.
Arbitrarily set your confidence level at 100% from second, minute , or day one any thing else is AV and can be dismissed, full stop. You absolutely got this( any thing else is AV )
Another take away form this could be to shut the door on the AV on the whole idea of being 'early' in your BP.
In a couple posts about your trip, your AV kept reminding you how 'early' it was and therefore how nearly impossible sticking to a BP such a trip (insert anything here) is 'going' to be , you know so early and all.
Arbitrarily set your confidence level at 100% from second, minute , or day one any thing else is AV and can be dismissed, full stop. You absolutely got this( any thing else is AV )
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
dwtbd you are right, IT was doing that, using time as an excuse. I didn't see it at the time but I see it now. My AV uses time against me a lot. The thoughts of drinking are easy to spot and dismiss. IT's use of my emotions/ memories and IT's use of time are trickier for me to recognize.
The idea of a "test" is the AV, the very same mentality that is behind the "just for today" tentative abstinence scheme. That "sense of relief" is also the AV, because it is essentially anxiety over the possibility of 'failing' the test. It all points to the possibility drinking some more alcohol.
The cardinal rule of addiction is "never say never" to the possible future use of alcohol and other drugs, and so the Beast seeks ways to retain the precious Option to drink or use some more in the future.
A large part of the AV's smoke screen, which keeps the addiction alive, is the illusion that not doing anything requires effort and practice. How much effort does not doing anything at all require?
What then? Would you drink?
Whose problem would those cravings be?
Your problem, or your Beast's problem?
If I may borrow a snippet from an explanation by tursiops999 in another thread:
... recognizing is the key -- recognizing and "dissociating", but not suppressing or arguing. The beast and it's bark are going to continue to exist...
It wants to meld it's identity with mine. My job is to recognize when it's trying to do that, and remember who I am.
It wants to meld it's identity with mine. My job is to recognize when it's trying to do that, and remember who I am.
Separation is the key.
I could feel my confidence in my ability to stay sober eroding almost as soon as we landed and beers were being handed out... But after I didn't drink said beer I really felt like I had it! I was so proud of myself and kept marveling at the fact that I wasn't consumed with the obsession and that I was really genuinely enjoying myself..... until that damn virgin cocktail.
The Beast would love for you to "marvel" at the fact that you didn't swallow any alcohol, and it were a miracle that you didn't do anything at all, and that the big, bad Beast was not stirring much, as if you were powerless before the Beast to control the peripherals (hands, feet, mouth).
Regarding your confidence eroding, the Beast will say "sure, you can say that you'll never drink again NOW, but you just wait, I'll get you THEN." If you realize that "I will never drink again" is the same thing as "I will never drink in the present moment," however, then this Beast ploy can be neutralized.
See: Static Time
Don't sell yourself short, zenchaser, which would only serve the Beast. You can do much better than to simply keep moving forward. You can actually end this, once and for all.
Originally Posted by Jack Trimpey
AVRT Axiom:
The function of the Addictive Voice is to grossly exaggerate the difficulty and suffering that discontinuing your vice will cause.
Corollary:
Ending your addiction is precisely as difficult as you decide it will be, and will take exactly as long as you permit.
The function of the Addictive Voice is to grossly exaggerate the difficulty and suffering that discontinuing your vice will cause.
Corollary:
Ending your addiction is precisely as difficult as you decide it will be, and will take exactly as long as you permit.
The idea that if you don't stand guard, always looking over your shoulder and watching out for the big, bad Beast, which is doing push-ups, waiting to pounce and get you, is one of the most elemental forms of relapse anxiety. So is the idea that you must be very careful, or you'll inexplicably explode into drunkenness, as if you didn't control the peripherals.
The idea in AVRT is to live comfortably and naturally in the presence of bodily desires that you never act upon, and which cannot possibly fulfill themselves. The lingering fear that it's not really over is a part of addiction, but it is also Addictive Voice, since it suggests that more drinking may be in the cards. Relapse anxiety is AV by definition.
It is just the Beast barking, and the only thing IT can do is to bark AV. If you aren't going to drink, then the Beast barks in vain. Poor thing.
The idea in AVRT is to live comfortably and naturally in the presence of bodily desires that you never act upon, and which cannot possibly fulfill themselves. The lingering fear that it's not really over is a part of addiction, but it is also Addictive Voice, since it suggests that more drinking may be in the cards. Relapse anxiety is AV by definition.
It is just the Beast barking, and the only thing IT can do is to bark AV. If you aren't going to drink, then the Beast barks in vain. Poor thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Algorithm wow! Thank you! I did not see how insidious my AV is and how rampant it is running. I'm shocked. You have given me a lot to think about. So much of my thinking is AV and I'm not even aware of IT. I really need to examine all of my thinking about this.
The Big Plan of AVRT is not simply 'swearing off', as they say. The BP brings the AV into consciousness, by creating the necessary separation between you and the Beast (I/It), and by providing a clear context against which the AV may stand out for recognition. The BP makes AV recognition easy.
The Addictive Voice is any thinking, imagery, or feeling that supports or suggests your possible future use of alcohol -- ever. The AV is also, quite simply, any thinking or feeling that contradicts your Big Plan in any way, shape, or form. This is why, without a Big Plan, there is no AVRT.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Yes I see it differently now. Any thought rooted in believing in any kind of struggle, at all, against abstinence is AV. Also feeling like any kind of victory against the AV is also AV because it supports the idea of a struggle. Huh go figure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Zen, I think you're fantastic for posting here, persevering, learning and applying AVRT. It's because of threads like this on Secular Connections, that I read, reread, absorbed, applied and finally made my Big Plan - and in so doing I most probably saved my life.
So although AVRT is a solitary one-step recovery; in the run-up to the BP, the learning phase, it's of great assistance to have people asking questions and in return, people explaining it: plus, people providing encouragement, or so I found.
So although AVRT is a solitary one-step recovery; in the run-up to the BP, the learning phase, it's of great assistance to have people asking questions and in return, people explaining it: plus, people providing encouragement, or so I found.
Hi all good thanks. All the lovely sunshine we are having now puts a brighter slant on everything in general plus I actually slept for nearly 8 hours last night which is something of a miracle!
Zenchaser no problem at all, its all about reading and learning from each other really doesn't matter what thread it is on.
Zenchaser no problem at all, its all about reading and learning from each other really doesn't matter what thread it is on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 98
Hi Kaily. So pleased to read you are good. You know I went back and read some of your old threads (I have read everyones old threads, I think I am a bit of a stalker lol). The difference between this, real, authentic you and how different you were when the Beast was in control, is striking. I don't think under Beast control you would have even seen the sun in ITs dark prison, it's refreshing to hear from you
I think the best thing is, you are no longer waiting to be rescued and at the mercy of the hopeless UK addiction services. You have rescued yourself, how empowering is that?
I think the best thing is, you are no longer waiting to be rescued and at the mercy of the hopeless UK addiction services. You have rescued yourself, how empowering is that?
Hi Kaily. So pleased to read you are good. You know I went back and read some of your old threads (I have read everyones old threads, I think I am a bit of a stalker lol). The difference between this, real, authentic you and how different you were when the Beast was in control, is striking. I don't think under Beast control you would have even seen the sun in ITs dark prison, it's refreshing to hear from you
I think the best thing is, you are no longer waiting to be rescued and at the mercy of the hopeless UK addiction services. You have rescued yourself, how empowering is that?
I think the best thing is, you are no longer waiting to be rescued and at the mercy of the hopeless UK addiction services. You have rescued yourself, how empowering is that?
I often go back in the history of people via their posts, its good to see where they started and track how far they have come.
I just reread some of mine and they cheered the beast up enormously and set the AV off but thats fine as I feel strong enough for that now.
As for making the big plan- I am struggling to say " Yes I have " even though I have if that makes any sense at all??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 98
Perfect sense! That resistance you feel is the Beast. There IT is, in full view, horrified at your thoughts of never drinking again and never changing your mind. ITs trying to reign you in, to not rush into anything (anything that will deprive IT of ITs life blood..alcohol). ITs scared now, poor thing! Can you feel the fear? Thats ITs fear.
Yes, the Beast will love reading those posts..
"Ah IT thinks, the good old times, when I could have my precious stuff on tap, when I had kaily well under my control, she gave me what I wanted, when I wanted it, I was so clever, she though I and she were one and the same. No matter the alcohol was killing her, no matter she was in despair, no matter I was stealing HER life, it's my survival that counts, she thought SHE needed the alcohol to live, but she has blown my cover now and knows it's me that needs it to survive."
It's you or IT simple as that, you cannot both thrive. And now IT is suffering and you are not. Observe IT suffering, observe IT twisting and turning, trying to manipulate your thoughts into why drinking is a good idea (good idea for IT, not for you). Observe IT digging ITs heels in and trying to drag you back from fully committing to never drinking. Observe this, and keep thinking, I do not drink now (it's always now) My god, ITs in a panic!
You are doing great kaily..your Beast, thats not doing so great..and thats great!!
Yes, the Beast will love reading those posts..
"Ah IT thinks, the good old times, when I could have my precious stuff on tap, when I had kaily well under my control, she gave me what I wanted, when I wanted it, I was so clever, she though I and she were one and the same. No matter the alcohol was killing her, no matter she was in despair, no matter I was stealing HER life, it's my survival that counts, she thought SHE needed the alcohol to live, but she has blown my cover now and knows it's me that needs it to survive."
It's you or IT simple as that, you cannot both thrive. And now IT is suffering and you are not. Observe IT suffering, observe IT twisting and turning, trying to manipulate your thoughts into why drinking is a good idea (good idea for IT, not for you). Observe IT digging ITs heels in and trying to drag you back from fully committing to never drinking. Observe this, and keep thinking, I do not drink now (it's always now) My god, ITs in a panic!
You are doing great kaily..your Beast, thats not doing so great..and thats great!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 98
This should have been never drinking again and never changing your mind.. back spaced too much! I never felt such panic in my life as I did from my Beast when I made this commitment to myself lol
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