Perfect sense! That resistance you feel is the Beast. There IT is, in full view, horrified at your thoughts of never drinking again and never changing your mind. ITs trying to reign you in, to not rush into anything (anything that will deprive IT of ITs life blood..alcohol). ITs scared now, poor thing! Can you feel the fear? Thats ITs fear.
Yes, the Beast will love reading those posts..
"Ah IT thinks, the good old times, when I could have my precious stuff on tap, when I had kaily well under my control, she gave me what I wanted, when I wanted it, I was so clever, she though I and she were one and the same. No matter the alcohol was killing her, no matter she was in despair, no matter I was stealing HER life, it's my survival that counts, she thought SHE needed the alcohol to live, but she has blown my cover now and knows it's me that needs it to survive."
It's you or IT simple as that, you cannot both thrive. And now IT is suffering and you are not. Observe IT suffering, observe IT twisting and turning, trying to manipulate your thoughts into why drinking is a good idea (good idea for IT, not for you). Observe IT digging ITs heels in and trying to drag you back from fully committing to never drinking. Observe this, and keep thinking, I do not drink now (it's always now) My god, ITs in a panic!
You are doing great kaily..your Beast, thats not doing so great..and thats great!!