dwtbd

Love that prisoner analogy

Fusion

Oh my Spryte, I hope you're OK! Just read back over my previous post and I sound a little strident, but I really do want you to absorb and understand this technique, AVRT, because it truly can set you free from your addiction.

Spryte, I'm so very glad that you're asking questions and I hope you ask more yet, as you learn. I do hope I haven't put you off, but AVRT was a life-changer for me.

Spryte, how are you today? Do you have any more questions, if so please post them.

Wholesome

This is a great analogy! My Beast counts time too and I find it hard not to notice but looking at it like my Beast is counting the time since I've imprisoned IT is a fantastic way to view it.

Spryte I've found that I'm less bored now that I'm free. There are tons of things to do and I have the energy and motivation to actually get out and do them! I don't worry about triggers anymore either, you can trust yourself and your BP. My boyfriends birthday is this weekend and he wants to go for dinner and drinks with a group of friends and family. I have every intention of going for the dinner and leaving once the drinks really start flowing. I just have no interest in watching people get drunk but I'd like to see everyone for an few hours to catch up and eat restaurant food. It gets easier as you get the hang of it.

spryte

Thanks for all the replies and the support! Tasty, you didn't turn me off! I'm here to learn.

One little success I have. The AV spoke this morning when thinking about the weekend and what I was going to do. I said to myself, 'Can the Beast make me raise a finger?" and I looked at my hand. No movement! Only I can raise my finger. I have control.

Looking forward to the weekend and I'm sure I will have more questions because I expect the Beast to be vocal.

I'm so glad I found this forum!

HelenofTroy

I love this! What a great way to look at it.

Fusion

That was a huge success and your action is one of the AVRT excercises, that I found SO beneficial in the early days.

Yes, your Beast may be vocal, ITs used to having ITs needs met by you - alcohol. But you're out of the addiction prison and the Beast is in it. There's a new prison warden, YOU: and the Beast and ITs desire for alcohol is now imprisoned.

At the weekend, remember what you've read - AV is to Beast - as Bark is to Dog. I used to envision my Beast on a chain, like a dog, barking away, completely ineffectively, it couldn't reach me, because of the chain (neo-cortex) IT just barked away via the AV, fruitlessly.

YOU have the power now, Spryte, don't let the Beast convince you otherwise, it's all hot air and bluff.

I'm so glad you found this forum too, Spryte.

spryte

Tasty, I like what you said about the AV being a prisoner. I am in control now!

So far the weekend is going well. I'm doing my best to keep busy. Only brief flare-ups of the AV.

I do the finger lifting exercise and I also think about never drinking again and feel the hope and joy and the fear. I recognize the fear as the AV, and the joy as ME.

spryte

So, what do you guys think about still attending AA meetings? I know it's contrary to Rational Recovery. I go mainly for the social aspect of it and to get me out of the house. In time, I hope to have more hobbies but right now I am gravitating towards what is comfortable and reliable and familiar. I find myself setting aside much of what is said, but I can find things to relate to. Especially the negative side of drinking. It helps affirm my BP, that it is the right thing to do because of how negative drinking is in my life and how destructive it is.

tursiops999

Sprite, my opinion is to do what works for you.

I participated in AA in my first year, before I learned about AVRT. The meetings helped me disrupt my evening habits, and I learned some very useful things. I don't go these days ... the "setting aside" started to feel confusing, and I had a lot of cognitive dissonance. But that's just my own experience and my own path.

I think the number one thing, is taking drinking off the table, making it not an option. After that, you'll have the freedom to pursue any and all actions that help build the life you want to live. Your choices may be different than someone else's, and they may change over time. With abstinence, it's all good.

tursiops999

Sorry that autocorrect insists on misspelling your name, Spr*te!

Algorithm

AVRT recognizes time counting as Addictive Voice.

The inclination to count time is part of the DNA of addiction itself, essentially a part of the Beast's makeup. Counting time is simply a residual from when the time since the last drink was a constant preoccupation. In addiction, my Beast would continually look back to its last drink, and look forward to its next one.

It would constantly remind me of how very long it had been since it was last fed its 'life-giving' precious stuff, and count down the hours and minutes to its next fix while I was at work, for example. Sometimes, it would even try and get me to feed it before making it home, if there was a lot of traffic on the way.

If you aren't sure about how long you'll remain abstinent, then time since the last drink seems meaningful, as though with each day, you are setting a new record, and increasing your odds of success. A quick look around any recovery community will reveal this not to be the case, however, with some people drinking again after 5,10, or even 20 years.

I can't disregard or forget entirely when I last drank, but any thoughts about how very long it has been, is just the same old Beast obsessed with the length of its own deprivation. This really should have been obvious, since the Beast has always counted time, for as long as it has existed, but I didn't recognize it at first.

Given the deep, DNA-like nature of time counting to the Beast, I don't expect that many people will drop the habit just because they have stopped indulging. The Beast never really dies, after all, and it will still do what it has always done. It counts, simply because it always has.

Now, I simply let the Beast count time, and move on.

Fusion

Bravo, Algorithm, you are the meister!

Wholesome

I have a question. I know that RR says not to worry about slippery places or mingling with other Beasts because we are protected by our BP's. I turned down a thing last night because I was frankly afraid to go. I was having tons of anxiety and stressing myself right out over it. Is that my Beast producing those feelings? Or is that me? I knew I wouldn't drink but the thought of being around it with other people's Beasts was doing my head in. I wasn't having images of drinks or cravings. I was having a lot of fear about turning down drinks or being questioned about why I wasn't drinking at a bar for a celebration.

You know what I've answered it myself. Of course, it's Beast. IT is making it seem harder than it is by creating fear that I may not be able to say no. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish because my feelings are feelings, it's not the same as a straight up thought or image. And why should I be afraid to be around it if it has no power over me anymore?

spryte

It's so nice to wake up hangover free! I love the benefits of not drinking. I'm still struggling with the AV. Boredom is tough for me. But I need to work at filling my life with activities and hobbies. I should see it as an opportunity.

Still doing the finger lifting exercise and the thinking of never drinking again exercise. That's working well for me.

Reading all the threads here with interest. Thanks to all for your contributions!

Fusion

Hi Spryte, yes once the drinking stops, there's lots of time available to fill with useful pastimes. Don't forget that, although 'you' may not like being bored - the Beast will be glad to take advantageous of your boredom and suggest that a drink will cure it.

Sometimes, my Beast, through ITs AV said 'you're bored, you might as well drink, there's nothing else to do'; but when I recognised it as AV and then dismissed it - I found the bored feeling soon dissipated.

Since stopping drinking, I've resumed past hobbies and activities and started new ones. But, we can't always fill every hour of the day and boredom and tedium can happen - but as a non-drinker, you can just sit with those feelings and they soon abate (or recognise the feelings as AV).

Wholesome

Yes! It is an opportunity. It may take a little imagination because drinking has been your main past time for awhile but it fact drinking is boring. Just you and IT. I've found that I'm less bored now that I've put some thought into what I want to do to fill the time I used to waste getting loaded. Spend some time envisioning how you want your new life to look like. What have you always wanted to do that drinking held you back from?

spryte

Today is my birthday and I expect to hear from the AV. I have made plans to go for a coffee with a friend and I'm going to go to an AA meeting as well.

Is it contrary to AVRT the concept of triggers, and planning for triggers? I guess the AV can speak up at any time and it's the same every time it speaks up. See the separation from the AV and realize that I am in control.

I feel good about my BP but still feel some fear, especially as the weekend approaches. I will be making plans to fill my time but expect to have periods of boredom.

I find the finger lifting exercise really good for reminding myself that the AV does not MAKE me do anything!

Shitzupuppy

Happy birthday. If it were my day, I'd have a big piece of birthday cake to celebrate! Give that AV the boot today!

Wholesome

HaPpY BiRtHdAy Spryte!!

Triggers can't make you drink even if they do make you uncomfortable. Early on I think it's a good idea to avoid things that make you uncomfortable if you can. Even though nothing can make you drink why put yourself through it. It's your BP and you get to make the rules so do what you think is right for you.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday

Fusion

Happy Birthday Spryte! I hope you enjoyed/are enjoying it (I'm not sure what time-zone you're in).

The Beast uses triggers, through ITs AV, as reasons or excuses to suggest that YOU give IT the drink. Anything could be used by the AV as a trigger, happy/sad........and so on. In AVRT we do not fear the AV and in turn, we do not fear the triggers which from experience, we know IT may use as a reason/excuse, to suggest a drink, through ITs AV.