Quinnleigh

I went to a family picnic yesterday where everyone was drinking but me (and the children). It was no problem and I continued to be happy about being free.

But I was struck by a new perspective, as I looked at each person sitting there with cups of poison, I thought about how 50-100 years ago in society smoking was considered normal, cool, people smoked inside workplaces, onscreen in movies, you were a sissy if you didnt smoke.... Now in society, whilst it still persists, smoking is seen as the poisonous deathly thing it is...

And I thought, perhaps in 50-100 years alcohol will suffer the same fate, and society will no longer be conned and brainwashed from birth that drinking is "part of normal life"...

So glad we are all ahead of the game!

I am still very early in my freedom, but Im dreaming every night of drinking. Its not affecting me as such, but just wonder why this is happening....

Admiral

I think that decline has already begun, but it won't reach the same level of intolerance that cigarettes have earned. I think that back in the 50's and 60's people drank a LOT more than they do today. The show "Mad men" is supposed to be a fairly accurate depiction of life in that time period and if you watch the show you'll see that they drink non stop; at the office, before meetings, after meetings, at lunch, after work... You could never get away with that today, it simply isn't tolerated, at least not in the USA. I hear that in Russia it's still that way and that it's considered a serious problem.

As for the dreams, they are normal and I think you'll find that pretty much everyone around here has them. I have them on a fairly regular basis and have for a long time.

Junebugapril

I was a little girl in the 50's and 60's. Maybe I am a rarity, but I never saw much drinking in my family or among their neighbors and friends. Just at weddings, and sometimes at parties. When my family had people over, most of the time there wasn't any booze.

My mom's sister and her husband were most likely alcoholics though, I did see them drink a lot.

Quinnleigh

I had my first panel hearing today after being caught drinking at work 6 weeks ago now.... It was intense and emotional and stressful. My first thought when I got out was "a drink would really calm all this down" and my second thought was


I smiled, felt empowered, the beast evaporated, I took a few deep breaths and walked on.

I know if I can get through this I can get through anything without alcohol. And life has already begun to get immeasurably better, and I cant wait for the rest.

D104

Hi Quinnleigh, how many days have you managed to keep the beast at bay? Was it difficult at the start?

Quinnleigh

I dont really count because from the minute I decided I was a "non drinker" that was it. Having said that it has only been 10 days but feels like more.

I did have 2 fault starts... and then the real moment came when I arrived at ENOUGH and NO MATTER WHAT, and then AVRT/RR and the Allen Carr book kicked in and I havent looked back.

Was it hard at first? Sure, but I got to the point where I really wanted it, couldnt go further the way I was going, and I had tools: the Allen Carr book has you celebrate when you come across a trigger e.g walking past the bottle shop "Isnt it great! I dont have to waste my money on that poison anymore" which really helped my mindset in the first few days and the AVRT, (and some mindfulness / meditation) gave me the awareness to catch the Addictive voice when it trys to make a move.

And NO Matter What, Im a non drinker. And its only been 10 days, but wow the changes and the good things that have already started to creep into my life.... worth it..

D104

That is awesome. I have ordered the Allen Carr book (waiting on delivery) and only discovered AVRT today but already I can feel my mindset shift from panic and worry about failing to excitement about starting a new sober life.
Kudos to you for taming the beast :-)

Quinnleigh

D104, Ive just noticed your a fellow Aussie

When you asked if it was hard at first, I later recalled a line in the AC book that said "It's not hard because you stopped drinking but because you started."...

And I like it.

Good luck to you on your journey. I am as novice as they come but if I can be of any assistance let me or someone here know, the folk are very helpful and experienced.

x Q

FeelingGreat

Quinn, I was wondering how the hearing went as you mentioned earlier you had that in front of you. There's been a huge change from when you first started to now.

D104 - I hope you reach the state of mind where sobriety becomes the only option. I've gone 35 weeks now, and have had cravings and unexpected temptation, but never seriously contemplated drinking because i got to the stage where my mind was made up.
We have NSW and WA doing well here; QLD pride is at stake

Tippingpoint

Really glad to see you on the right track Quinnleigh!

Good stuff!

Mafalda

[QUOTE=Quinnleigh;3696257]

Mafalda

I sent that previous quote without my comment. That statement hit a chord with me. You talk about quality of life and let me tell you that you can have it all (on the surface) I have a great husband , great little boy , plenty of money , physically in good shape etc etc and no one can fire me because I own my own business. So being in a temporarily unfortunate situation might not be what leads you to drink. I am currently trying to find out myself why I am so in love with the feeling I get from alcohol. Haven't found out yet but I posted on this forum a few days ago and decided to stop and not wait for the train wreck jist because i still dont know why I drink. For how long , can't say and the idea of finality is also hard for me to fathom but you must decide that the rest of your life begins today. I wish you the best.

dawnrunner

Mafalda, it's great that you are quitting now when things are good! SO much better than waiting for a life wreck.

One thing AVRT stresses is that it is no mystery why anyone drinks or drugs: these activities bring pleasure, even if it is increasingly short-lived and costly.

The part of the brain that desires this pleasure is not rational. It doesn't care that alcohol/drugs will bring down the whole life in which it is implicated. It is like an unfortunate animal who will drink radiator coolant because it has a sweet taste, and then die of it.

The addictive voice loves it when we seek ever more complex explanations for drinking: My mother was unkind to me; I am too sensitive; I have a metabolic disorder; etc. These are great distractors while it drives us to the poison pleasure it craves.

Best wishes to you in your new plan for life! It is unbelievable, but that resolve to live as ourselves really is all we need. Well, plus some tips and some work and some alertness.

D104

Thanks Quinnleigh. I will take you up on the assistance soon I would imagine. I have given my cut off drinking date of 1/1/13. Might sound a bit cliche' but the whole new slate idea is enticing and I have a week or so to finish the Allen Carr book and really get into the mindset of sobriety.
Don't you worry FeelingGreat I will make QLD proud to have me as a resident.

Quinnleigh

Well Im only into my third week of freedom and its going well. I have caught my beast on a few occasions... but Im pleased it isnt on my back as much as I thought it would be. It just pops up randomly, usually with images of a bottle, and a craving "oh its been a hard day at work".... I respond "oh there you are **** off".... and purposefully redirect my thinking. Do you think this is right?


I went on my first sober date this week in my entire life. It was nerve wracking. The guy thought my non-drinking was ridiculous "c'mon it's Xmas"... and when he bought me a drink to the table, I got up and left.

I now know I want a non drinking partner! Or atleast someone who respects my position. I dont know if thats possible. It must be? How do y'all cope if your partner drinks? Is it an issue?

freshstart57

I think that is exactly right, Quinn. Observe, recognize and separate from your AV.

I don't have an alcoholic or even a drinking partner, so I have no direct experience to share with you. I think you did just great - you now have a boundary about alcohol that cannot be crossed. I found that I was lacking some other boundaries in my daily doings and insisting that the alcohol one be respected helped me with the other ones too.

I am sure there are lots of guys who would love to get to know a smart strong woman like you. Stay the course, Quinn. Onward!

D104

Congrats on your 3 weeks. You must feel very proud of yourself

soberlicious

I think the bolded part is more important than whether a partner drinks or not. Someone who pushes you to drink is just plain obnoxious. Obnoxious people suck.

I don't have an answer for you. I have dated people who drink and people who don't. Not drinking is no guarantee that someone is not batsh*t crazy...I do know that first hand. Regardless, someone elses drinking doesn't have any bearing on mine, it's more a matter of common interests. I find I do not have much in common with heavy drinkers because they focus on...well, heavy drinking. It would be the same if I met someone for example who was an extreme couponer or a doomsday prepper or a sasquatch hunter. Our interests just wouldn't match.

tammy711

Absolutely rolling on the floor laughing out loud!!!!! Awesome. Oh goodness!







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Quinnleigh

Hilarious! and also true, thank you.

I am committed to my ongoing health and wellbeing and I want someone who not only supports this in me, but does so for themselves (by not drinking heavily). (Just wanted to put it out there in case the universe is listening for requests!)...