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Worst drunk ever hopes to launch into AVRT

Old 11-27-2012, 02:42 PM
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hey tammy wheres the free crash course at and whats the book you guys are talking about because i want to get my hands on both if you dont mind x
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Old 11-27-2012, 03:40 PM
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SheCat, the Crash Course is found by googling AVRT / Rational Recovery. I can't link directly to it because it is a commercial website, but it is very easy to find.

The book is called Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction, by Jack Trimpey. You can find it from the RR website, or from Amazon for less than 5 bucks.
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Old 11-27-2012, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Quinnleigh View Post
Yes thank you I will. I just find everyone there seems to be doing AA and "counting days" and that doesnt work for me. In my mind, Im done, I dont need to wait to succeed, Im already a non drinker doing my life. I just re read the Allen Carr book, and he says not to count. Why count? It's over. but I'll give it a go, maybe others are doing AVRT too...
Nah, a lot of people aren't doing AA but some are. We're all kinda just floundering through! I am trying AA but not convinced it is for me.
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Quinnleigh View Post
Yes thank you I will. I just find everyone there seems to be doing AA and "counting days" and that doesnt work for me. In my mind, Im done, I dont need to wait to succeed, Im already a non drinker doing my life. I just re read the Allen Carr book, and he says not to count. Why count? It's over. but I'll give it a go, maybe others are doing AVRT too...
Maybe just check it out and see if it seems helpful. I didn't discover AVRT till I was a few months along in the process so just found the support to be helpful early on...

However, I think it is prudent to be building a foundation from which you rely on no one other than yourself for sobriety. I'm not sure if all the monthly groups are the same but by 6 months or so there were just a handful of us left that we're still committed to sobriety. When you see 90% of a working group of individuals fail like that it can be a convenient example for your beast to point to.

If you've got both arms around AVRT and are comfortable with the support you're getting here then you may not need the group thing.

The one thing I know to be true is that there is no right and no wrong...each of us must find their way through and for each of us it will be a little different.
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Old 11-29-2012, 03:05 PM
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I am stuggling. As I was caught drinking at work, I found out I am to go through a disciplinary hearing / court type process and Im petrified.

I realise its all fine and dandy to be a non-drinker on a normal day but when you get hit with stressful scary news, "it" takes over, becomes my "friend" and I have drunk or taken drugs so long I dont have any other tools in my box to deal with these emotions.

I must learn some. Im scared of losing my job, my accomodation, and my reputation is up sh*t creek. I want to drink (sorry, IT wants to drink).

Or more accurately I dont want to feel this pain / fear etc.
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Old 11-29-2012, 04:27 PM
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Sorry you're struggling Quinnleigh. That kind of work stress is a common trigger...just feels so natural to hide from that stuff by getting loaded.

You just need to work through this and find a way to get through the craving. Most cravings only last a short time and are easily dealt with.

- have something to eat.

- lay down and have a rest or a nap.

- eat something sweet - ice cream works for me!

- go for a run or a bike or some other kind of exercise.

- rent a movie.

- meditate on the craving - sit still and really become present so that you can observe that craving with curiosity and mindfulness. By turning all of your senses toward your craving you'll find that it quickly whithers in the light.

Obviously drinking or using now is only going to make your work situation that much worse...but you know that.

Think how cool it would be to get through this entire episode in full sobriety.

You can do this QL.
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Old 11-29-2012, 04:30 PM
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I dont have any other tools in my box to deal with these emotions.
Please remember that drinking was never ever an effective tool for dealing with stress. Drinking inevitably exacerbates stress. That quote is AV.

You do NOT need to develop better coping skills to stop drinking. You need to develop better coping skills to lead a happier life, maybe, but it is in no way tied to drinking. Again...AV

These emotions can sometimes overwhelm us and make us feel like we will surely die from the stress. You won't. You will get through this. and you will be stronger for it.
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Old 11-29-2012, 04:37 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Quinn,

I can only imagine the stress that you are under. I would imagine that the AV thoughts in your head are trying to take over. Just remember what I said before. Your emotions and nerves are frayed beyond belief. It may seem like the darkest day, but it probably really isn't. Think about the fact if you could walk into the hearing and tell them honestly that you are very serious and committed to accepting responsibility, and committed to not drinking.

If it were me, and I was in the same boat (which I was dangerously close to getting into btw. I sometimes drank during the workday) and still drinking, I would arrive to the hearing a complete mess. My brain would not allow me to respond appropriately, nor think clearly.

How long do you have before the hearing? If you have several days, the best thing you could do is:

1. don't drink
2. Get your head clear
3. Assemble a big plan. You don't have to grasp never again just yet. Just don't drink in the now (present)
4. Organize what you will say to convince them that you are worth a second chance and that your are committed to not drinking and that it is not for the job itself but for yourself personally. Lay out your plan and your resources(family, peer support, etc.)
5. Be honest

I couldn't do that while drinking. I would try and manipulate my way out of the situation, fake my way through it. In the end I would have screwed it up and lost my job.

I am the sole bread winner in my family and loosing my job would have been absolutely devestating. I am also in a small industry. The only thing I could do would be to relocate as everyone would have found out and I would have been forced to take a job that was not ideal.

Keeping your job and demostrating sobreity is the best plan. In time people will largely forget, move on, or otherwise not impact you.

We are here to support you. Have you been able to make it a few consecutive days yet without drinking?

Hang in there. I know it is difficult but once you stop new doors will open an you can move on with your life.
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Old 11-29-2012, 05:11 PM
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Man, you guys just ROCK.

It was everything I needed to hear.

Bless You.
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Old 11-29-2012, 05:17 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Quinnleigh View Post
I must learn some. Im scared of losing my job, my accomodation, and my reputation is up sh*t creek. I want to drink (sorry, IT wants to drink).

Or more accurately I dont want to feel this pain / fear etc.
Feelings and pains can be managed. Drinking is a lousy management choice, as we all understand in very personal ways. Better choices will create better results.

It really comes down to this:

What is quality of life for you, Quinnleigh? Where does the buck stop? Who has final authority and responsibility for your behaviors? Who do you answer too? What is stopping you from being the best you can be?

The answers are all too obvious, yeah?

You can deal and manage your pains and fears without drinking alcohol. Nothing is stopping you from being a non-drinker. Nothing. Think and wonder on that simple truth, and you'll make better choices going forward.
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Old 11-30-2012, 03:58 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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I shouldn't really characterize the beast as a craving as I don't think that is likely helpful when it comes to separation from the beast.

The strategies that I mentioned are all valid though.
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Old 11-30-2012, 06:30 PM
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[QUOTE=RobbyRobot;3694667]Drinking is a lousy management choice.

What is quality of life for you, Quinnleigh?
What is stopping you from being the best you can be?QUOTE]


This comment about quality of life really got to me: I assessed my QOL as I sit in my flat surrounded by dirty dishes, piles of clothes, unmade bed, piles of bills to be paid, flabby and out of shape, single, living a stones throw from the beautiful beach yet too lazy to go out and enjoy it, just wanting to mope around, watch fox. My QOL is **** just quietly.

How many of you nailed the Beast / AVRT first attempt?
I am not succeeding. Do I not want it enough?

But this assessment of my QOL has ignited something. Is this what I want? Is this how I want to live? The hearing is coming up and yes its scary but one day it will pass, do I still want to be living like this??? I am starting to want sobriety more.

I think I need to go through the book again.
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Old 11-30-2012, 07:55 PM
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Hi Quinn, I've been wondering how you're faring so it was great to see you logged in. I'm sorry you're still struggling. I prompted by previous posts, I looked up AVRT and while I think it would work with someone who has reached the ultimate stage of motivation, perhaps you weren't quite there when you started? But you seem to be getting there now. Beach walk for you straight after work I think! I want to share some of my strategies for handling the cravings in the first month or two. Pick and choose as they seem relevant for your situation. In no special order:
Don't let yourself get too hungry,
Buy a good quality juice after work (Boost or similar) to fill in the gap where you would normally turn to alcohol,
Walk part of your journey home from work if possible,
See your GP and get his/her support, and possibly meds to help you through the first stages,
When the wave of cravings comes over you, breathe deeply and consciously (this one has worked amazingly for me, not sure why),
Confide in good friends,
Go for a swim.
With you on this one Quinn!
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:34 AM
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quinn, i second that of feeling great,,, and all of the other pepps here,,, im now just gone past my 1st month,, ( im actually stopping counting now,, and i only did it for a "biggin meself up thing,),, i did it 1st go,, with the help of avrt,, rr the book,, and this place,,, these guys are just too cool for school!!! lol
the diference for me,, I REALLY WANTED THIS ,,,NOW ,, i stopped on a friday,, i figured if i really meant this,, then it had to stop NOW, not wait till monday,, like i used to do,,, like the book says,, now is now,, monday will be now,, only ,,then xxx
ive tried ao many other ways of attempting sobriety,,, over 10 yrs,,, and i guess for me,, i had to wait till i,yes,, I wanted the beast to "do one",,
i have had no cravings,, and ive been suprised at how easy this has been for me,, this time,, MY TIME .
i can honestly say,, i do not drink now,, or never will,, and i will never break my promise,,, for me,, the beast can just sod off, for all i care,,,
i love the me i have now,,, i love my life i have now,,i love my freedom,,,i have now,,
i do pop to newbies evryday,, there is a lot of different peeps there,, all trying to find their way,,, some i try to help,, some i cannot,,, but its rather interesting to check it all out,,, i have learnt such a lot from this whole site,, but i do feel more "myself" when here with theses dudes and dudettes xxx
so,,, just go for it,,, im not good at advice,, just merely telling my lil 2 p's worth,,, thinking of you,,
hugs and lv x cleoxxxxx
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:37 AM
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ps,,, for social occasions,,, i have a lovely juice,, a posh one,,, called v8,, tropiacl,, mixed with sparkling spring water,,, lush,,, and for xmas ,,ive treated myself to one helluva posh glass, where i will be sipping my "mocktails" from,,, and im giving everyone else , rubbish old plastic ones!!!!! lol
i also take kudzu vitamins,,, google it and see for yrself,,, good luck,,,, xx cleo xxxx
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Old 12-01-2012, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Quinnleigh View Post
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
Drinking is a lousy management choice.

What is quality of life for you, Quinnleigh?
What is stopping you from being the best you can be?

This comment about quality of life really got to me: I assessed my QOL as I sit in my flat surrounded by dirty dishes, piles of clothes, unmade bed, piles of bills to be paid, flabby and out of shape, single, living a stones throw from the beautiful beach yet too lazy to go out and enjoy it, just wanting to mope around, watch fox. My QOL is **** just quietly.

How many of you nailed the Beast / AVRT first attempt?
I am not succeeding. Do I not want it enough?

But this assessment of my QOL has ignited something. Is this what I want? Is this how I want to live? The hearing is coming up and yes its scary but one day it will pass, do I still want to be living like this??? I am starting to want sobriety more.

I think I need to go through the book again.
Have no concerns of "do you want it enough?"

You have honest want to be free of alcohol, and that is enough. It's not about "how much" ie quanity. It's all about quality.

You mention being ignited. Awesome!

There in resides your quality check, Quinn. Fan that flame with sincere desires and needs, and you'll be assured success. We never go wrong with being true to ourselves. Yeah, we're none of us perfect, and so we do have to mind The Beast, separate our AV from our true selves, yes for sure... nonetheless though, we must always know there is life after quitting drinking. A really wonderful, happy, and productive life to be sure.

AVRT is not about struggling. Its about do it and move on. Quit and do the next right thing to achieve quality of life sans-alcohol.

All that struggling is really just your Beast howling. I know your AV tells you it's you in pain, but it's lying to you, playing you. The addiction pain is totally being felt, yes. The responsibility to carry on and leave the pain behind is yours. It's not about fault or guilt. Its about your quality of life going forward. Leave the lousy for the Beast and move on. As you do more and more quality happenings in your daily life, your Beast will absolutely eventually fade into grey and be a distant thing in your awareness. It's AV bark will be boring, and pathetic.

You'll be living a quality life, free of drinking, free of your Beast, and free of your AV.

Awesome, eh?!!

Just a little of sincere want is always enough to fan and encourage real and lasting quality of life.

Great post, Quinn. Well done!

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Old 12-07-2012, 02:15 AM
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I asked the universe did I want it (sobriety) enough and some bad things happened and showed me I wanted it more than anything.

Ive been great ever since. Starting to feel like myself (a self I dont know really) ... went to a restaurant tonight, saw someone drinking my old brand of wine, felt a surge of the beast, and I was like 'oh there you are" and then went on to thinking how great this weeks been and how much better it can get....

Onwards and upwards...

Doing lots of mindfulness, gestalt therapy, meditiation, kundalini yoga.... Im like transforming into a person and feeling real genuine feelings, not drunk ones.... and even the bad feelings... Im learning to get through them...

Onwards and upwards...
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:59 AM
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Quinn, great to hear of your success so far. Your mood seems completely different from when you first posted and your words are full of hope. You deserve it because you're putting in the hard yards, in fact you're making me feel lazy. I'm going to try some of your strategies because although I've stopped drinking I've not replaced it with something constructive. Keep us updated.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:14 AM
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That was beautiful, Quinn, and you described my AVRT to a T. Nothing fancy or complicated, just a recognition and a separation with a Big Plan as a foundation and guided by an underlying mindfulness. Congratulations.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:20 AM
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Wow, Quinn! I love this. "I asked the universe did I want it (sobriety) enough".
That's a really good idea!
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