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Old 09-02-2005, 12:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I'm new at this


I am new at this and I not to sure what to say. I have been clean for about 4 months now and it just seems to get harder. Everone that I talk to are user or don't understand what is going on with me. I got into trouble with the law and that is what made me see that what I was doing was not right. I am not sure why it seems to be hard and I was just looking for people that are going through the same things or have. I am open to any help that anyone will give me
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Old 09-02-2005, 12:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
everything is already ok
 
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Hi Trina,

Welcome to SR and congrats on your 4 months clean/sober. There is lots of information and support here have a look around. Say some more about whats going on with you.

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Old 09-02-2005, 05:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks for the info. well with work going on I just am so stressed out that I am worried about relapsing. My boyfriend comes home in a couple of months and I don't know how to even act. He says he is going to stay clean but saying one thing and doing another kinda scares me. I know that I follow in the wrong steps when I am around the wrong people and that is what worries me the most I am just hopeing that I can find other people to talk to that can help me and give me the best help that anyone can.
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Old 09-02-2005, 05:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
Keep On Keepin' On....
 
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Try to take it one day at a time. I have found that attending online meetings, talking to my sponser daily and remaining honest with my husband are the keys to my recovery. Be gentle with yourself, you are going through a rough time and there is no benefit in beating up on yourself. For today, worry about your own program...if you work a strong and solid program, you will know intuitively what to do when your boyfriend comes home. *(WE) PROMISE*

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Old 09-02-2005, 05:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
We all need each other.
 
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Hello Trina--Welcome to SR! Glad you found us. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Do you have any face to face support? I go to AA and have found it to be a life-saver and a great place to find clean and sober people who want the same things I do. You might find the same! Just a suggestion for ya......

Hope things get better soon, and I hope you stick around and post some more.

Hugs--

Last edited by lulu70; 09-02-2005 at 05:24 PM. Reason: Didn't make sense :)
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Old 09-02-2005, 05:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I am not in any AA groups or anything like that I am on a waiting list to get into a group at my therpist office. I think that once I get into that group it will get a little bit easier for me. I am so glad that I have found this site and I will be comming into talk and ask questions when I have them. My big thing right now is when my bf comes home that he is going to start using and I don't know what I am going to do at that point cause I am going to be so hurt that I am scared that I am going to start doing it again. I feel better about my life since I have quite smoking but for some reason it seems to be getting really hard right now it was easy for awhile now it is like all I can do is think about smokeing and drinking and it is not want I want to do and I know that but the thoughts won't go away and I keep thinking that if I just do it then everything will go away and I won't have so much stress. I am looking to find a sponsor to help me through this.
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Old 09-02-2005, 07:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
We all need each other.
 
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In my experience, the best way to find a sponsor is to go to a meeting. There is no waiting list for AA/NA; you can walk on in anytime you want. And they will welcome you with wide-open arms. If you have any questions, let us know. Many of us have found sobriety with the help of 12-step programs. And in my case, I have not only found sobriety, I have found blessed moments of peace, serenity, and contentment. PM me, if you'd like. I won't preach AA to you, but I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. I can't keep what I have got if I don't share it with others!

Hugs--
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Old 09-07-2005, 05:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I am scared to start going to AA/NA groups. I don't know what people will think of me and I am not sure if I can handle going. I am so confused I just don't know what to do right now. There is so much going on in my life I just wish that I could get high or even go drink. As the days go by it seems to get harder and harder. I know that I should start going to groups I just don't want people to look down on my cause I have a problem. Someone please help me with these fears of mine and help me see that it is ok to have these feelings of fear and confusion. There is just alot more to everything else going on in my life right now I just don't know how to handle it all and still not turn to my old ways of useing again
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Old 09-07-2005, 05:28 PM   #9 (permalink)
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(((((((Trina)))))))) First of all, take it easy on yourself, hon'. Everything about quitting drugs and alcohol is scary, unfamiliar, overwhelming, etc.....but you can get through it. Just take it one moment, one emotion, one thought, one craving at a time. All you can control is right now, this minute, and you don't have to have a drink or drug right now, right? We are here for you.....

As far as the meetings go, I won't try to force you to go, but I really think you might be really glad you did. NO ONE there will look down on you for being there and no one who isn't there needs to know you went. If nothing else, you might look up AA in your local phone book and give them a call. When you reach someone (sometimes the number is just an answering service and someone will call you back) just tell them what you have said here and see what they say. I KNOW it is scary, but so is drinking or drugging yourself to death.

I am glad you posted again. Keep hanging in there.

Hugs--
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Old 09-07-2005, 05:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I just wanted to say that sobriety is somewhat easier if we have support while we are going through it, especially the inital stages. Whether it be AA, personal counsellor, whatever, you need someone to talk to about what you are going through.

I have a counsellor and when I need other support I come here and read posts, answer some and I've been finding that it really helps to have others of like mind to talk to.

I hope that you try out AA, so many people are helped by that fellowship and you won't know unless you give it a go!!

good luck to you

lee
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Old 09-07-2005, 06:39 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks for the help I think that I might check into them as soon as I get back from my vacation. I just am not sure how to handle it all but being able to come in here and read the messege boards and hear what others have to say makes me feel so much better I know that with the help of everyone here I can make it through this no matter how hard it gets I know that I can do it I just have to put my mind to it and ask for help when it is needed.

Hugs
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Old 09-07-2005, 06:43 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome!
Glad you found us and yes you'll get a great deal of support. It can't be easy living with someone still using so be strong k?
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Old 09-07-2005, 06:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hi Baby!
Welcome to SR. You have found a great place for hope and support. I'm glad your here.
Bless, Trish
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Old 09-07-2005, 07:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Smile

I hope that I get the support and hope that I need here to help keep me on a straight line listening to what others have gone through and just being able to talk to people about what is going on makes it a little easier for me


thanks a bunch
hugs
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Old 09-07-2005, 07:20 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yup, we all stay sober together,one day at a time...
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Old 09-07-2005, 07:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
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That is the best way to do it one day at a time and that is what I am doing right now. I am so glad that I have found you guys it makes this so much better for me
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Old 09-08-2005, 07:48 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Hey there...I wanted to welcome you as well to this site. It's one of my tools in staying sober. I also go to AA, since alcohol was definitely my DOC (drug of choice). I smoked pot off and on for awhile, but it was the alcohol that I always turned to and eventually knocked me on my arse--a few times.
Being nervous/unsure/anxious etc about going to meetings is COMPLETELY normal and I totally understand how you're feeling. A lot of people were exactly where you are right now...but keep in mind if you decide to go that route, you WILL be the most important person in that room as long as you let others know that you're new and it's your first meeting. It's kinda hard to comprehend for someone new to recovery...but the newcomers are what keep those that have been around sober. It's a reminder to us that it's no better "out there" using.
I had to be beaten down a lot while I was actively drinking until I really, really wanted to get help to staying sober. But, that's the path that I had to walk. I honestly believe that not all people that come into the rooms of AA are alcoholic. They may be hard drinkers--but that's really neither here nor there. As long as your using is causing heartache and pain to yourself, stopping will definitely alleviate it. I was definitely of the "hopeless variety" when I finally surrendered to my alcoholism, but I think that the way AA teaches you to live is good for anyone really--no matter if they have a problem with drinking or not.
Ummm...what else? Alcoholics Anonymous isn't for everyone--there are recovery programs that are more secular in nature--meaning they don't take the spiritual approach to recovery. Some of people get turned off to AA because it does use spirituality as it's foundation. I'm not going to get into the debate that some people go into about AA NOT being spiritual, but rather geared towards the Christian religion. I have my personal viewpoints about that and the results of a certain denomination holding dominion over Christian humankind--and other socities in general.
I, however, was not turned off to the concepts of AA because I'm a seeker of Truth.
There will be more people to welcome you shortly! PM me anytime you want!


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Old 09-08-2005, 09:06 AM   #18 (permalink)
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B Trina, I NEVER would have thought I would be into AA/ NA or anything else A!

But you said it well: all of my freinds are users or don't understand.

YEP! How true.......

SO, if you don't want to be miserable, why not get involved in some sort of fellowship/ program?

AA saved my life. I smoked and drank all day everyday for almost 25 yrs.

Today, at home, traveling, or even on VACATION, I can look in the phone book and find an meeting.

THERE, no matter where I am in the world, I can find my new friends.

Sober ones, people WHO DO UNDERSTAND!!!!!

WHAT have you got to lose? OR, what have you got to GAIN???
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Old 09-08-2005, 04:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR BabyTrina!

Huge congrats on 4 months!! The good thing is that we can stay clean and sober one day at a time.

It will get better. The light may be right around the corner.
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Old 09-08-2005, 08:03 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Thanks for all the help. I am not sure how to start going to AA/NA I just don't know what to do or even if I can handle it. I want more to come from my life and I know that I need the help that is why I am so glad that I have found this site I can talk to people that know what I am talking about and it makes me feel alot better about what I am going through. Right now I just have big fears that I am going to go back to my old ways and that is not what I want to do right now. I would like to start going to AA/NA but I am really scared to go to them. I would like to know how to over come these fears about going to the meetings.

Hugs
Katrina
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