Hey there...I wanted to welcome you as well to this site. It's one of my tools in staying sober. I also go to AA, since alcohol was definitely my DOC (drug of choice). I smoked pot off and on for awhile, but it was the alcohol that I always turned to and eventually knocked me on my arse--a few times.
Being nervous/unsure/anxious etc about going to meetings is COMPLETELY normal and I totally understand how you're feeling. A lot of people were exactly where you are right now...but keep in mind if you decide to go that route, you WILL be the most important person in that room as long as you let others know that you're new and it's your first meeting. It's kinda hard to comprehend for someone new to recovery...but the newcomers are what keep those that have been around sober. It's a reminder to us that it's no better "out there" using.
I had to be beaten down a lot while I was actively drinking until I really, really wanted to get help to staying sober. But, that's the path that I had to walk. I honestly believe that not all people that come into the rooms of AA are alcoholic. They may be hard drinkers--but that's really neither here nor there. As long as your using is causing heartache and pain to yourself, stopping will definitely alleviate it. I was definitely of the "hopeless variety" when I finally surrendered to my alcoholism, but I think that the way AA teaches you to live is good for anyone really--no matter if they have a problem with drinking or not.
Ummm...what else? Alcoholics Anonymous isn't for everyone--there are recovery programs that are more secular in nature--meaning they don't take the spiritual approach to recovery. Some of people get turned off to AA because it does use spirituality as it's foundation. I'm not going to get into the debate that some people go into about AA NOT being spiritual, but rather geared towards the Christian religion. I have my personal viewpoints about that and the results of a certain denomination holding dominion over Christian humankind--and other socities in general.
I, however, was not turned off to the concepts of AA because I'm a seeker of Truth.
There will be more people to welcome you shortly! PM me anytime you want!
Danielle