Weekends past - If this weekend was like others Weekenders 27 - 30 May 2022
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,707
Weekends past - If this weekend was like others Weekenders 27 - 30 May 2022
Weekends past - If this weekend was like others Weekenders 27 - 30 May 2022
Weekends Past
If this weekend was like others
I’d not know much of it,
I’d be blotto, comatose
And mostly, degenerate.
~~~
If this weekend was like others
Amidst the empty bottles,
An itch that can’t be scratched,
Then one more drink as I crash horizontal.
~~~
If this weekend was like others
There’d be regrets and memory loss,
Broken promises of ‘this is the last’
Whilst amid much crapulousness
~~~
If this weekend was like others
But wait! I broke the mould,
I refused my ache for alcohol
How will my sober life unfold?
~~~
Many sober weekends (and weekdays) on,
Nine years nearly, it will be
Since I chose the sober path,
Regrets? Not one, I reply happily.
~~~
A poem by Mags
If this is your first weekend sober, or one of many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Weekends Past
If this weekend was like others
I’d not know much of it,
I’d be blotto, comatose
And mostly, degenerate.
~~~
If this weekend was like others
Amidst the empty bottles,
An itch that can’t be scratched,
Then one more drink as I crash horizontal.
~~~
If this weekend was like others
There’d be regrets and memory loss,
Broken promises of ‘this is the last’
Whilst amid much crapulousness
~~~
If this weekend was like others
But wait! I broke the mould,
I refused my ache for alcohol
How will my sober life unfold?
~~~
Many sober weekends (and weekdays) on,
Nine years nearly, it will be
Since I chose the sober path,
Regrets? Not one, I reply happily.
~~~
A poem by Mags
If this is your first weekend sober, or one of many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
congratulations on shotgun 
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Congrats on almost nine years!
if this weekend was like the others, in my drinking days, it would be no different than my weekdays.
For what had begun many years ago as a pleasure, an occasion on occasion, became a daily compulsion.
Id be repulsed at what I’d become, scared of how much I’d drink, and filled with harm to body and soul each morning.
What had begun as me taking a drink now and then, became sometimes that my drink would take a drink. WTH?
I would find empty bottles that I had to bury deep in the trash. Had I really drunk that much? I would add water to the liquor bottles to make them even the morning after while I made coffee. Wow, the drink sometimes took control, and took a drink. That wasn’t my intention.
I realized what the next step would be……the drink was going to take me……😫. I sensed it. The evil in the hell i was lost in. I had to find a way out.
i have.
Don’t let the drink take you. It won’t if you don’t allow it in your life. It is NOT your friend, your solace. It’s a killer.
Put it away, forever. You can. Deny the ache that lies to you, deny the lies to yourself. The ache and beast will wither away and become an annoyance rather than your grim reaper.
if this weekend was like the others, in my drinking days, it would be no different than my weekdays.
For what had begun many years ago as a pleasure, an occasion on occasion, became a daily compulsion.
Id be repulsed at what I’d become, scared of how much I’d drink, and filled with harm to body and soul each morning.
What had begun as me taking a drink now and then, became sometimes that my drink would take a drink. WTH?
I would find empty bottles that I had to bury deep in the trash. Had I really drunk that much? I would add water to the liquor bottles to make them even the morning after while I made coffee. Wow, the drink sometimes took control, and took a drink. That wasn’t my intention.
I realized what the next step would be……the drink was going to take me……😫. I sensed it. The evil in the hell i was lost in. I had to find a way out.
i have.
Don’t let the drink take you. It won’t if you don’t allow it in your life. It is NOT your friend, your solace. It’s a killer.
Put it away, forever. You can. Deny the ache that lies to you, deny the lies to yourself. The ache and beast will wither away and become an annoyance rather than your grim reaper.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,064
Thank you Mags 
Many moons ago my weekends consisted of partying hard, losing control and being unashamedly wanton, throwing up all the next day, rinse and repeat. Happy memories
. Things progressed and I was drinking at home everyday after work - functioning alcoholic as they say 
. Years on I was unable to work due to health reasons and my drinking again increased.
Death of my partner in a freak accident a few days before Christmas 2011 hit me hard. Things escalated out of control. All day drinking commenced. It got worse and worse and I was barely functioning. Average consumption was 750ml vodka a day, plus a few beers and a bottle of wine.
I pleaded for help from the NHS but as written about previously found it more or less impossible to get. I was drowning. I found SR in 2014 but only dipped in and out. Finally 2018 with lots of help from this forum I got sober! Still can't believe that I did it.
If I can from those depths of despair then anyone can. It takes huge commitment, grit and determination. And a resolve like no other.
Many moons ago my weekends consisted of partying hard, losing control and being unashamedly wanton, throwing up all the next day, rinse and repeat. Happy memories
. Things progressed and I was drinking at home everyday after work - functioning alcoholic as they say . Years on I was unable to work due to health reasons and my drinking again increased.Death of my partner in a freak accident a few days before Christmas 2011 hit me hard. Things escalated out of control. All day drinking commenced. It got worse and worse and I was barely functioning. Average consumption was 750ml vodka a day, plus a few beers and a bottle of wine.
I pleaded for help from the NHS but as written about previously found it more or less impossible to get. I was drowning. I found SR in 2014 but only dipped in and out. Finally 2018 with lots of help from this forum I got sober! Still can't believe that I did it.
If I can from those depths of despair then anyone can. It takes huge commitment, grit and determination. And a resolve like no other.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,522
Thanks Mags. I'm IN for a sober weekend!
I like the poem Mags. As Free mentioned, congrats on almost 9 years!
I love the picture Free, very intriguing.
Kaily, sorry to read about your partner dying back in 2011, I didn't know that. The part in your post about seeking help from the NHS and not getting it is spot on. It's pot luck if you can get the right sort of help from them.
I hope everyone has a good weekend
I like the poem Mags. As Free mentioned, congrats on almost 9 years!
I love the picture Free, very intriguing.
Kaily, sorry to read about your partner dying back in 2011, I didn't know that. The part in your post about seeking help from the NHS and not getting it is spot on. It's pot luck if you can get the right sort of help from them.
I hope everyone has a good weekend
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,163
Crapulousness!
I just wanted to type that. Lol
Pretty much described my life, weekends.
Only difference in my weekends from my weekdays is my wife would join in the drinking. Maybe throw in some shots for added crapulousness.
Now?
I don't drink, wife don't drink, crapulousness is gone.
I just wanted to type that. Lol
Pretty much described my life, weekends.
Only difference in my weekends from my weekdays is my wife would join in the drinking. Maybe throw in some shots for added crapulousness.
Now?
I don't drink, wife don't drink, crapulousness is gone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,426
Kaily, sorry that happened in 2011. Life can be rough sometimes.
Saturdays would often include just enough yard work to get a feeling of having been productive, then it would be a trip to the beer cave and the floodgates would open. Sundays would nearly always bring a massive hangover.
Saturdays would often include just enough yard work to get a feeling of having been productive, then it would be a trip to the beer cave and the floodgates would open. Sundays would nearly always bring a massive hangover.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi Weekenders,
Mags, thanks for the new thread and your poem is spot on. Almost 9 years, amazing! I'm with FK, I love the word crapulousness. That about sums up my drinking.
Kaily, I'm so sorry to learn about the death of your partner. My drinking got ever more out of control after the death of my husband. He had cancer, but at least there was time to prepare. How you've turned things around is an inspiration.
Free, great post. Do you know who the artist/sculptor is in the photo? I love sculpture. Such a powerful image.
Happy to be here and I'm in for a sober weekend!
Mags, thanks for the new thread and your poem is spot on. Almost 9 years, amazing! I'm with FK, I love the word crapulousness. That about sums up my drinking.
Kaily, I'm so sorry to learn about the death of your partner. My drinking got ever more out of control after the death of my husband. He had cancer, but at least there was time to prepare. How you've turned things around is an inspiration.
Free, great post. Do you know who the artist/sculptor is in the photo? I love sculpture. Such a powerful image.
Happy to be here and I'm in for a sober weekend!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'M IN!
Good to "see" everyone.
We have a holiday Monday here in the states. In the past, that would have been an excuse for a weekend of absolute crapulousness for me. Three whole days to do "whatever!" I'd start the weekend by getting the bare minimum done around the house on Saturday morning (usually somewhat hungover from the night before), so that I could feel like I didn't waste the entire holiday weekend. My younger daughter would be with her dad, usually, (older moved out of the house before things got really out of control) so I'd have no more responsibilities until Tuesday. Drinking would start in the afternoon on Saturday, and the rest of the weekend would be a blur. Sunday morning I'd be hungover, and start drinking again pretty much as soon as I could function, usually by early afternoon. Monday would be another hangover, and maybe I'd take it a bit easier that day, so that I could be fairly decent at work on Tuesday. In later years of my worst drinking, I only worked part time, so you can just imagine that I had little control on Monday, either. Most of this drinking was done in groups of "friends," so I could justify it by saying I was a "social drinker." That worked for years until I realized there was nothing social about the way my friends and I drank. It was just an excuse. When I think back on those times, I sometimes feel so much regret for the wasted time and opportunities. I can't change the past, so now, I try my best to make the most of the weekends, and the time after work each day, too. I work, I play, I have time to just relax. It's just lovely. I'm never going back.
A chapter has really closed now. I went and picked up dear Chauncey's ashes. They are in a lovely little carved wooden box, that goes inside a velvet bag that is embroidered with "Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge." I shed a few more tears, of course. The pain is lessening, but I still feel pangs of loss and grief when I get home and there is no wiggly little guy who is so happy to see me.
Good to "see" everyone.
We have a holiday Monday here in the states. In the past, that would have been an excuse for a weekend of absolute crapulousness for me. Three whole days to do "whatever!" I'd start the weekend by getting the bare minimum done around the house on Saturday morning (usually somewhat hungover from the night before), so that I could feel like I didn't waste the entire holiday weekend. My younger daughter would be with her dad, usually, (older moved out of the house before things got really out of control) so I'd have no more responsibilities until Tuesday. Drinking would start in the afternoon on Saturday, and the rest of the weekend would be a blur. Sunday morning I'd be hungover, and start drinking again pretty much as soon as I could function, usually by early afternoon. Monday would be another hangover, and maybe I'd take it a bit easier that day, so that I could be fairly decent at work on Tuesday. In later years of my worst drinking, I only worked part time, so you can just imagine that I had little control on Monday, either. Most of this drinking was done in groups of "friends," so I could justify it by saying I was a "social drinker." That worked for years until I realized there was nothing social about the way my friends and I drank. It was just an excuse. When I think back on those times, I sometimes feel so much regret for the wasted time and opportunities. I can't change the past, so now, I try my best to make the most of the weekends, and the time after work each day, too. I work, I play, I have time to just relax. It's just lovely. I'm never going back.
A chapter has really closed now. I went and picked up dear Chauncey's ashes. They are in a lovely little carved wooden box, that goes inside a velvet bag that is embroidered with "Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge." I shed a few more tears, of course. The pain is lessening, but I still feel pangs of loss and grief when I get home and there is no wiggly little guy who is so happy to see me.
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