Hawkeye13

Great job on staying sober through a difficult time HAS!

You have had extended sober time before and it will happen again.
Remember how good it feels?

Build one day at a time, and remember you are a worthy person who deserves a great life.

Don't accept anything less!

Healthyandsober

Thank you Hawkeye,

I am still on the right track and I will stay here.

I can't wait to see how i feel once i have more sober time. I have high hopes that my life may change but I have to be realistic as well. My problem will still be there.

thank you for stopping by.

Healthyandsober

Thank you!

I am still here and going thru dangerous territory named the weekend. Also having issues with my apartment. I signed a very bad lease with a loophole that could potentially get me evicted. My husband is blaming me for showing up hangover half drunk and signing the lease before a lawyer see it like he wanted.

I am just such a prize. Anyways I am scared and very anxious really don't know how to deal with life, work leases apartments rent, my dogs, my relations non existent with my family, my non existed career

I feel the panic and fear building inside an i really need to be vigilant for this weekend. I can't drink again.

so i will be here lurking and reading. man some of these post are sooo sad, legal issues, being older (i mean i feel very old already), loss of family, freedom.

addiction is truly insane and scary. anyways I am here today

Healthyandsober

by the way smoke two cigarettes today. i guess is better than drinking but i hate cigarettes so much. Also as usual my face is destroy, every time i detox i get pimples everywhere and to be honest i look yellow. ahh such a complexion

I have not been to AA again yet but i know i had to do it, it helped before.

Dee74

I hope you'll get to AA again soon HAS - I think it will really help

D

Healthyandsober

I am working up the courage Dee

Purplrks3647

Glad you're posting and planning to hang out through the weekend...same here....we can get through it together

Healthyandsober

I hope so Purpls, well i will i have to. Thank you for saying hi!

I did not sleep last night ugh, between waking up crying at 3am and waking up at 6 to take my dogs out i did not slept much.

im tired, scared with such a sense of doom

today i just want to stay sober. this is my only wish for today.

Healthyandsober

When is this day going to be over? I hate Fridays.

I am really struggling today i mean its minute by minute and I am smoking which for some reason i hate unless drunk.

Great im going to die anyways.

Dee74

I'm sorry fridays are tough for you HAS,. Maybe you can try not smoking anymore tonight - might help you start off tomorrow the right way?

D

Healthyandsober

I am trying but everything is a trigger. Early days are hell for me I just want to drink wine and my brain is my enemy.

for my job there is a drug test as a requirement to employment so guess what i did i google drug test and alcohol how long and so on but i don't drink anymore soooo.

I cleaned the apartment, i took the dogs for a walk, i cook, ate watch TV and reading here but to no avail. my brain said better drink today as alcohol disappear in 48 hours so you have saturday and sunday.

i am never going to change my life if i don't stay strong and i feel i can't. i know i could go to a meeting i hate that simple answer.

thank you Dee,

Healthyandsober

i should have never go back to drinking when i had those 58 days because i just can't find the way back.

what is going to take another job loss, another crisis, ER visit, looney tunes, divorce, the big C

i should have never touch this thank God i was never into or near other drugs i would be lost. i have an addictive personality and i am just a weak individual.

I don't want or can't go to rehab. one the money i can't check out for months spend lots of money trying to fix this. i don't have the money anyways.

okay rant over.

Dee74

HAS I often say that all we have to do to day is stay sober - it doesn't always have to be graceful

For me recovery in the early days is not about never thinking about drinking - it's about thinking about it - but not doing it anyway.

You're doing great

DS

least

As our beloved CarolD used to say: you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. It took me a lot of failures to finally get to that point. But since I made that decision, I've been sober for 9 yrs now, and loving it. I love being awake and aware when I should be. I love waking up each morning feeling good. I love that I finally respect myself again. I love being responsible. I take wonderful care of my cats and dog and their happiness and health are another benefit of staying sober.

I hope you'll be able to stay sober long enough to feel the benefits. It takes a while sober before you start to feel better.

CreativeThinker

I didn't go to rehab and I was able to get sober. Like Least said, "you have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink"! In the beginning it's harder than hell. However, if you divert your thought of drinking towards a healthier addiction (workout, go for a walk...) or do anything that will take your mind off the craving (take a shower, read a good book, cook a nice dinner, clean the house, do the laundry...), eventually what is a new way becomes the norm. Nothing changes unless you are willing to change. You can do this...just take it one day, hour or second at a time. The further you get from that last drink, the easier it will be to not drink...and the closer you will be to finding a new life. Just don't pick up that drink...no matter what!

xoxo

CT

Healthyandsober

Thank you for taking the time to reply least and CT,

you have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink"!

the above has to be a verb for me because i just can white knuckle forever. i have to do something to support this decision because i forget easily how much this addiction has taken from me.

This is not crack or meth this is old legal booze the party maker the healer of all misfortunes and failures and my best friend continuously since i was 15. my first drink was at 6 so there was something wrong even then.

i had lost so much, myself the biggest and most dramatic lost. i don't know who i am. my friends, if any , jobs, husband all my life was design by me to allow and adjust my drinking.All the very dramatic and awful event consequences of my drinking i just drank some more and swear to be more vigilant and careful but who can be careful while intoxicated?

i never fully learn to drive too i decided early on after wrecking to cars one involving injuring a horse (yes i am a foreigner from a small island) i decided i will kill someone so no driving. so you see i am / was all ready for my glamours life of sipping wine and smoking cigarettes. I never gave a though to anything else who or which did not fit with my drinking.

I am lost without it and I am doom with it. Catch 22 right as Americans said because of that not so good book.

so I am back to the only help i have at my disposal and this time even if i hate it i will fall all out into it. AA

thank you for being here. i am hopeless but there is this little hope inside of me that tells me if you handle this if you get out of it you would never feel this way again and you will be who you are and were mean to be.

thank you all

Purplrks3647

(((HAS))) It's the AV lying to you if you feel "hopeless" or "lost without it" ~ I try to remind myself of how horrible I felt through two relationship breakups....it felt unbearable at those times and I was devastated....now I feel like I have to "divorce" alcohol, and one day I'll look back at drinking like I see those two idiots!

Stay close....let us know how the meeting goes....shoot, I should go to one too!

Healthyandsober

Thank you purple,

I am not doing well. I have been on a bender since yesterday i cave in. I have wine vodka and beer and it really feels like a wish death.

my husband is beside himself and told me he is leaving if he comes back and i am still drinking. i can't stop so he will leave and with him the only thing i had left. i will probably lose my lovely dogs too. i just can't stop and i wish i were dead.

i am so sorry i failed everyone i really tried but could not quit.

Purplrks3647

I found this website and there are hotlines you can call....it's just one link but there are many places that can be found through a google search. Sometimes it helps just to have someone to speak with on the phone.

https://addictionresource.com/alcoho...ment/hotlines/

Dee74

I really hope you can find it in yourself to stop again HAS.

Alcoholism is like a fire - it gets worse the more we feed it.

Maybe you'll need to do more than posting and trying this time- I really think AA is worth another try - can it be worse than this? I doubt it.

D