HealthyandSober needs help and support
My guess is that you are an alcoholic like me. I tried to blame pretty much everything for my problems except alcohol - my family, my friends, my job, my health, politics, whatever - but in the end of the day the real problem was my refusal/denial of the fact that alcohol was the problem. And that quitting was the solution.
Certainly it's not easy to to do this - because we all have issue in our life that we face. But I can tell you from experience that the answer is a simple one - quit drinking. Being sober allows you a much better chance to solve all the problems and issues, whereas drinking pretty much guarantees failure/pain/sadness.
Certainly it's not easy to to do this - because we all have issue in our life that we face. But I can tell you from experience that the answer is a simple one - quit drinking. Being sober allows you a much better chance to solve all the problems and issues, whereas drinking pretty much guarantees failure/pain/sadness.
Healthyandsober - Helpful things have already been said, and I agree with them all. Please know that you are not pathetic or a failure. You're weakening yourself by drinking - and that makes it hard to face challenges or to come up with solutions. I did the same thing - kept myself in a fog, thinking I was helping myself cope. It's a lie. You will get free and then you can decide what to do about a job that's more suitable for you (as Anna mentioned). Life will be so much better without alcohol.
I stayed sober last year by resisting the urges to drink the first weekends and the going to AA every nigh after work. I just hate my life so much and it is my work life I hate since getting fired from I job I hated last year I just found one after many months unemployed and I hate it too. What’s wrong with me!
I fear this has nothing to do with alcohol and I’m just a loser.
Drinking's not solving anything , its not relieving in any real way, its eating away at your self esteem and it is making everything harder for you, and leaving you worse off HAS.
I know these things to be true because I was there once too.
Noone can give 100 % to something when they're drinking.
Noone can really follow their dreams when their life is being torn apart by their drinking.
Noone thinks well of themselves when they're destroying themselves with alcohol again and again.
Noone can really be happy when their drinking is fuelling their unhappiness.
You're not a loser - you're an addict. Not the same.
Its a marathon not a sprint.
My life didn't change over night and yours probably won't either - but I really believe that if you got back into AA, posted here regularly and started seeing your doctor again about your depression....within a few weeks you'd be in a much better place mentally to assess your life, your job and what you want from the future
D
When I was drinking, I always felt hopeless. It wasn't until I'd been sober for a while that I began to feel better, like there was hope for me.
Stop drinking and give yourself time to heal and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.
Stop drinking and give yourself time to heal and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.
Hi HAS, Im sorry for your job situation. If you’ve been heavy drinking off/on since 2016 or before that, that is most likely one reason for the trouble. The best thing you can do for yourself is to not drink and stay sober. This will give you a clear head and help you be less anxious, depressed and hard on yourself.
Maybe there are other things going on as well. Maybe the field, job or company you work in is not a good fit. Have you talked to a counselor? Many community colleges have counselors who can provide job and career support and resources.
What about talking to your doctor to get back on antidepressants?
Please don’t call yourself stupid. It’s just not true. Though sometimes we do make poor choices. Please be kind to yourself.
I hope to see you keep posting here for support.
Maybe there are other things going on as well. Maybe the field, job or company you work in is not a good fit. Have you talked to a counselor? Many community colleges have counselors who can provide job and career support and resources.
What about talking to your doctor to get back on antidepressants?
Please don’t call yourself stupid. It’s just not true. Though sometimes we do make poor choices. Please be kind to yourself.
I hope to see you keep posting here for support.
H & S, you really need to get sober.
It's extremely difficult to deal with challenges on the job when you are going in to work hungover and with shaking hands.
I know because I did that too.
Drinking made me an anxious mess. I was totally crap at dealing with complex problems or interpersonal conflict. Everything was so difficult. I was paranoid and jumpy and thought people were having meetings about me every time they went into a room and closed the door to have a private conversation. I hated going to work.
Nothing is going to improve until you get sober. Then bit by bit, it will get better. You will be healthier and calmer and your concentration will start to improve. Your worst symptoms of anxiety should start to recede. If you have underlying problems with anxiety - like I do - you can deal with them rationally.
Going to work when drinking heavily is like walking into a fight with one hand tied behind your back. No wonder you are being beaten down. Give yourself a fair chance and get sober, then start looking for a new job. One where you can give it your proper attention.
We have your back. I promise you. We know what it's like!
It's extremely difficult to deal with challenges on the job when you are going in to work hungover and with shaking hands.
I know because I did that too.
Drinking made me an anxious mess. I was totally crap at dealing with complex problems or interpersonal conflict. Everything was so difficult. I was paranoid and jumpy and thought people were having meetings about me every time they went into a room and closed the door to have a private conversation. I hated going to work.
Nothing is going to improve until you get sober. Then bit by bit, it will get better. You will be healthier and calmer and your concentration will start to improve. Your worst symptoms of anxiety should start to recede. If you have underlying problems with anxiety - like I do - you can deal with them rationally.
Going to work when drinking heavily is like walking into a fight with one hand tied behind your back. No wonder you are being beaten down. Give yourself a fair chance and get sober, then start looking for a new job. One where you can give it your proper attention.
We have your back. I promise you. We know what it's like!
I agree with sentiments above. The immediate answer of what’s wrong is you are drinking. Take the booze off the table and you’ll take a big step for the better. If you’ve had a good stint of sobriety before, do you remember what a month, two months, six months of solid sobriety felt like? I do, and for me my whole world view changed. I had hope. Problems were still there, but manageable and in perspective. I enjoyed a passing smile, the sun on my face, thinking g of my goals and dreams. You can get there, just don’t pick up a drink.
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part of me deeply believe is not alcohol because i have limit my intake to weekends and i am not calling out sick.
the issue seems to be the same problems with my coworkers and performance. it just made me feel stupid.
thank you everyone for your response i will be sober from now on and see what happens. having no money will be a great motivator i guess.
the issue seems to be the same problems with my coworkers and performance. it just made me feel stupid.
thank you everyone for your response i will be sober from now on and see what happens. having no money will be a great motivator i guess.
Alcohol is a depressant. If you've got to the stage of alcoholism where you have been regularly drinking too much, your nervous system is probably shot to pieces.
I found I had to completely stop drinking to protect my mental health. I think of it this way: my body was already at a certain anxiety and depression setting because of the abuse from alcohol over years. Cutting down my intake would have been an improvement from the perspective of day to day competence, but from a mental health standpoint every drink kept me from getting better. The only thing that would allow the re-set of my mental health was complete abstinence.
Although I felt better within weeks (even days) of sobriety, it took some months for the 'air to clear' completely and for me to feel mentally free from the toxicity of alcohol. That's why sobriety is so important.
Honestly, you won't even know how bad it is until you get free of it and look back.
I was a complete wreck. I can't believe I tried to function like that.
I found I had to completely stop drinking to protect my mental health. I think of it this way: my body was already at a certain anxiety and depression setting because of the abuse from alcohol over years. Cutting down my intake would have been an improvement from the perspective of day to day competence, but from a mental health standpoint every drink kept me from getting better. The only thing that would allow the re-set of my mental health was complete abstinence.
Although I felt better within weeks (even days) of sobriety, it took some months for the 'air to clear' completely and for me to feel mentally free from the toxicity of alcohol. That's why sobriety is so important.
Honestly, you won't even know how bad it is until you get free of it and look back.
I was a complete wreck. I can't believe I tried to function like that.
HAS I've seen the difference in you sober posting and times when you've been drinking.
The difference is astoundng
You may have other issues that need addressing. I have no idea - but you'll deal with them much better when you're not drinking at all.
I believe that, even tho you might only be drinking on weekends, you're drinking enough then, and have for long enough, for it to affect you all week.
I don't mean you're drunk, but those feelings or fear, of inadequacy and guilt and shame are coming in very large part from alcohol and your addiction.
D
The difference is astoundng
You may have other issues that need addressing. I have no idea - but you'll deal with them much better when you're not drinking at all.
I believe that, even tho you might only be drinking on weekends, you're drinking enough then, and have for long enough, for it to affect you all week.
I don't mean you're drunk, but those feelings or fear, of inadequacy and guilt and shame are coming in very large part from alcohol and your addiction.
D
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Thank you Dee and miss perfumado and everyone really, Today its been bad my husband told me if i lose this job we are done he blames me for everything and i just can't cope. its terribly lonely and isolated the fact that i can't speak or have any one who have my back or can help me.
i have to get a hold of myself because i feel i am losing any control i may have. i feel hopeless.
Thank you for saying this about my post Dee, it give me hope to think if i stop i would be able to fix my life. sometimes i feel no matter what i do this life is ruined. i would like to start over.
i have to get a hold of myself because i feel i am losing any control i may have. i feel hopeless.
Thank you for saying this about my post Dee, it give me hope to think if i stop i would be able to fix my life. sometimes i feel no matter what i do this life is ruined. i would like to start over.
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Merry Christmas Dee and everyone! thank you for so much.
I know its aggravating seeing people failing all the time but its really nice to hear some kind words from someone when your own words are so unkind. it keeps you going i guess... don't know anymore i feel broken.
Happy holidays everyone!
I know its aggravating seeing people failing all the time but its really nice to hear some kind words from someone when your own words are so unkind. it keeps you going i guess... don't know anymore i feel broken.
Happy holidays everyone!
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