Weekender 7-11 June2018
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
That's another beautiful piece, Bim.
That's the problem -I don't know myself.
I allow in my life only the piece of "myself" which succesfully go through the test of comparison against "proper" elements of life. And anything else is shut down.
At certain moments I rebel because it's too painful to live like this. But then I go back because living like myself is too deep into uncertain and too scary.
So, I go back and forth in this limbo.
And now I am going through the crisis when I am not going back.
I just can't do it any more.
That's the problem -I don't know myself.
I allow in my life only the piece of "myself" which succesfully go through the test of comparison against "proper" elements of life. And anything else is shut down.
At certain moments I rebel because it's too painful to live like this. But then I go back because living like myself is too deep into uncertain and too scary.
So, I go back and forth in this limbo.
And now I am going through the crisis when I am not going back.
I just can't do it any more.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Like bim, I try not to grab onto my thoughts, but let them wash over me.....I learned how to do this with my walking job. I delivered kidney health clothing bags into peoples' letterboxes for 2 years.....Oct 14-16. I had to walk for hours....and after I got fit enough and worked how to walk 3 hours and find bathrooms (ha....I drink a lot of water), I started loving it big time. It was the greatest meditative time for me....and I was outside and moving....so much to see and experience.
By the time I got home, whatever I had taken with me to mull over was sorted out....I can solve most things this way.....the things that I need my own answers for....just like all of your thoughts run free when you are boxing I imagine Midnight....
Shame you can't do it outside.
By the time I got home, whatever I had taken with me to mull over was sorted out....I can solve most things this way.....the things that I need my own answers for....just like all of your thoughts run free when you are boxing I imagine Midnight....
Shame you can't do it outside.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Uncertainty.....I think I am a pretty good example of someone who has walked through that. All I can say from the deepest part of my heart is that it is WORTH walking into the fear to follow your passions. Really worth it. ♥♥
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Thank you, Venus.
Though I obviously not a huge fan of Tony Robbins, one of my fav quotes goes to him:
"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with."
Totally agree, hands down.
Though I obviously not a huge fan of Tony Robbins, one of my fav quotes goes to him:
"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with."
Totally agree, hands down.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Actually, here's another one.
Maybe, I should give the guy a break.
"Remember in life we get what we tolerate! Where in your life is it time to draw the line in the sand and say no more! To yourself?To others?"
Maybe, I should give the guy a break.
"Remember in life we get what we tolerate! Where in your life is it time to draw the line in the sand and say no more! To yourself?To others?"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Haa, Midnight. Why don't you like Tony Robbins? He is relentlessly upbeat - I'll give him that. It's entertaining.
Hi, calmself. Perfect weather, I say. Perfect weather for getting my car inspected and picking up my tabs.
Hi, calmself. Perfect weather, I say. Perfect weather for getting my car inspected and picking up my tabs.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Haa, Midnight. Why don't you like Tony Robbins? He is relentlessly upbeat - I'll give him that. It's entertaining.
Hi, calmself. Perfect weather, I say. Perfect weather for getting my car inspected and picking up my tabs.
Hi, calmself. Perfect weather, I say. Perfect weather for getting my car inspected and picking up my tabs.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Part of it might be that you still have some anger about your recent assignment MidnightBlue.
Not feeling 100% myself though it is physical rather than mental. I had better not be coming down with anything.
Not feeling 100% myself though it is physical rather than mental. I had better not be coming down with anything.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Bim, I am keeping my grain of salt for anyone who praises importance of gratitude at every corner.
I know I am asking for trouble questioning absolute virtue of gratitude but for me it's not as simple as it meets the eye.
Quoting Tony Robbins: "You can't be grateful and angry at the same time".
Anger is here for a reason. Maybe, it's knocking on my door and desperately trying to attract my attention to the issue which needs to be resolved. Maybe, it's not the situation to call on gratitude.
Anger is an alert, alarm.
What I am going to do with it - that's another question. But just replacing it with gratitude without investigating what pain is hiding behind it - I don't think so.
I know I am asking for trouble questioning absolute virtue of gratitude but for me it's not as simple as it meets the eye.
Quoting Tony Robbins: "You can't be grateful and angry at the same time".
Anger is here for a reason. Maybe, it's knocking on my door and desperately trying to attract my attention to the issue which needs to be resolved. Maybe, it's not the situation to call on gratitude.
Anger is an alert, alarm.
What I am going to do with it - that's another question. But just replacing it with gratitude without investigating what pain is hiding behind it - I don't think so.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by calmself
Hey, GM! how often do we have to go for inspection? It's been a while since I went and i got the tabs this year already. What am i missing? Thanks for the reminder.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
Originally Posted by biminiblue
When you get your notice in the mail for new tabs, it will say, "You need an inspection." I think newer cars it's every two years. You wouldn't be able to get tabs if you needed one (inspection.)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
I actually went and got on the treadmill for a little while (with the tunes cranked up of course!) Now I'm more awake and getting ready to go into work....only I like to switch on autopilot and conserve my energy so no one tries to suck it out of me! 
See you all later
See you all later
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