livinginhope

Music helps me through the bad spots. For me it's movies. I have a difficult time watching them at home. That's my trigger. I would pop in a movie and start into drinking. That's what I did with 90% of my drinking time. I can easily go out to watch one, but at home it's tough. I've managed to watch a few in the almost-eleven months I've been sober, but for the most part I just don't do it.

Misc72

I can relate. I have had a few lapses due to music and memories. I tend to remember the fun times when I hear certain songs. Now that I'm getting older alot of my favorites bands from the 80s rock era are either dead from drugs/booze or clean and sober... Not many of them are still living that party lifestyle at this age. Not sure how old you are? I love going to see live music when there is a member of the band that has cleaned up. Listening to the radio is hard though because you are captive. Stick with the talk radio until you have stronger sober muscles. I would not put on 80s rock at first because I wanted it to be like old times. Well it will never be like old times. I like new times better anyway...

PippoRossi

This is a great thread, very interesting. Thank you, everyone, for sharing your experiences. This, personally, isn't something I had ever heard of, music being a trigger, but it makes total sense how it would/could affect a person in sobriety.

Delizadee

I had to avoid a couple songs particularly for a very long time.

I didn't listen to radio for a few years.

Mainly I carried my phone around with netflix playing or podcasts are a huge thing for me.

I try to steer clear as far as sentimental pull on all the wrong heartstrings things go. I figure it's ok to block or numb myself to those things for now, if it keeps me in the safezone.
I start poking at it when I feel a little stronger and able to deal with it.. If I want to... It makes sense why it happens.
Over time I don't think all these things should hold such a strong grip on us if we are living a good life of recovery/recovered, but they might hang around in the back or pop up from time to time. I'd think that is normal just like the compulsion to drink.
Everything can be a trigger to us... some of them are just more deeply tied into our psyches.

So hope you're feeling not alone, it drives me crazy or makes me angry more often than I'd like to admit to myself. Other times I go WILD.

thomas11

It is without question my biggest trigger.

plop

thomas11, I had the same problem in early recovery. Certain songs and certain musicians simply would make me want to drink, so I had to go without music for weeks, which was a bit of a problem, as besides from being used to listening to music while drinking I was also used to listening to music while working. Music can certainly be a powerful trigger.

However, when I got a little bit better, I started to listen to music, but first I decided that if it would make me want to drink, I'd stop immediately. I took it one step at a time, and nowadays I can listen to any music without craving for alcohol – I can even listen to songs that used to be my "drinking songs".

Delilah1

Hi Jeff,

Just checking in to see how you are doing.

❤️Delilah

Dee74

I'm no psychologist but I learned a lot about myself

but it does occur to me maybe you're missing or pining for the carefree freedom you had back then and/or the excitement.

It may even go to the heart of how you define yourself.

If you can work out what you're missing - and work out whether its real or just rose coloured nostalgia - you can go a long way to healing that inner void

D

soberclover

I thought it was just me! Believe it or not it took 2 1/2 years in to my recovery before I was able to comfortably listen to music again. Especially in my car. Music was a super trigger for me too

AAPJ

I guess it just depends on what songs you choose. Here's one from an old American rocker that probably won't trigger you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlfCyHbLdpI

thomas11

HI Delilah1, thanks for checking in. I'm fine. I need to get this music thing ironed out at some point. I am going to put it on the back burner for awhile. I've got others things to focus on in the near future (like moving).

thomas11

It has to be rose colored nostalgia. I mean, it can only be that because it surely doesn't define who I am as a person anymore. But man, it does hit me like a Mack truck. its so powerful.

biminiblue

Jeff, have you tried Pandora (online radio)?

It's free and you can input genres. Seriously, meditation-type music, straight instrumental, new age, Latin guitar, classical, piano, and Christian (both contemporary and traditional worship music) were all safe for me, because I didn't listen to them when drinking or in my partying days.

I'm fine with all music now - but I still prefer different stuff in general from my old party days.

thomas11

That's a great idea. I generally like all types of music, it is only specific music that gets me riled up. I need to find some relaxing new genre's that I have no previous association with. I like jazz, I've heard classical music can be extremely therapeutic.

biminiblue

Good thing about Pandora is you can choose certain types of music or favorite artists to make a specialized/personalized "station," then Pandora runs with your choices and recommends other music that's similar. You can also have many different stations with different vibes to each station. I have a "quiet music" one, a "beach music" one, an "exercising beats" one, and then you can also do a station shuffle and get a mix of your chosen stations - OR you can rate songs and they are on a "best of (called thumbprint radio)" station for you to hear a variety of your chosen favorites.

You can block individual artists or single songs by downvoting them so that you don't hear them (or don't hear them again). I like the freedom and I like being introduced to new stuff.

Also, if you have a ROKU, the free version played through ROKU doesn't have as many ads as the online version. You can buy the subscription version and have no ads - the paid version isn't expensive, if ads annoy you.

WeaverBird

Thanks for this thread.

When I played No Doubt just then, it stressed my Dog so much he left the room. I know he likes reggae best

I've found all music alters my current emotion. I swear I can get high on dance music. I'm coming up for 4 months, and I don't want my mood altered since I'm feeling pretty zen (most of the time).