Venecia

Hi, all,

I've not been very attentive to the Weekenders this round, but my kind thoughts are with all.

Phoenix, Sao's observation got me thinking that I'd seen your story in the Recovery section but had yet to read it. Well, I did. It was very moving; I am glad you're here with us on SR.

An uneventful few days for me, save for going out to dinner with a friend last night. The worst weather I've driven in in a long time. I used to be a calm winter driver, having grown up on a steep hill in northern Wisconsin. But things are different now. Our winters are mild.

Take care.

STDragon

Good timing on the discussion about too much SR. I was thinking about that the last little while. Not too much SR per say too much thinking about SR and recovery and not drinking and such. I'm beginning to get episodes of 'euphoric recall' followed by feelings of regret or more like mourning, missing out. I wonder sometimes if that's because it's all I think about these days. Being and staying sober, not drinking.

STDragon

Sorry to hear your troubles with the bugs Tetra. Reminds me of when we had our lice breakout. My daughter brought it home then my son had an outbreak. I even found one on my wife's head. I kept my hair cut super short the whole time. We were picking nits for months.

Asa

Broke down and drank Saturday night after three weeks sober. Hangover was just as brutal as it was last time I drank. I'm glad in a way, some part of my brain was saying maybe it was OK to drink, maybe it won't be bad this time... now I can put that voice to rest.

PhoenixJ

support offered Asa

Dee74

I'm glad you made it back Asa

Think about what you can do differently this time, what you can add to your programme

D

saoutchik

You don't talk too much at all Brenda, don't worry.

Welcome back Asa, we don't always succeed first time, i'm sure you will get there in the end. If you should contemplate picking up I recommend posting here or elsewhere on SR beforehand.

Recycling day here.

petals

Morning guys. Oh tetra your landlord needs to sort it out for you it's just horrible.
Hope everyone is doing ok. Welcome back asa.
Dory brain won't let me post much else to any individuals...sorry.
I had 3 very big decisions to chew over....i have reached a decision on 2 of them.. ... just need to say to myself that it's done and dusted and stop mulling over them.
Decision 3 will have to wait as I've got a new issue to worry over. Mr P will be out of work on Friday and there is no way we can get by on my rubbish wages 😟. To be fair he is already looking for a job.... it's just so worrying.
Hugs to all
Xx

LadyBlue0527

STDragon, I think too much of anything is not good. The euphoric recall and then regret and mourning are all part of this path. The more you stay sober though the less it happens.

I want to offer something to anyone feeling this way. It could be that it is too much but beware of something. I was happier than a pig in the mud when I was sober last time. I quit and had almost 9 months when I began the feelings of "too much". Too much AA, too much SR, tired of reading stories about drinking and recovery every day. I thought I had it made in the shade at that point. I was sober and ecstatic about it. Time to start drawing away from having to deal with reading about it and attending meetings every day. I just wanted to live my life happy and sober. I slowly walked away from every sober tool I had acquired. Even made it almost 9 more months without a drink. Although, honestly, those euphoric recall thoughts were strengthening. I knew it and I did nothing about it. Until finally, the day came where I drank.

In finality, although you may feel you're ok with sobriety there will never come a time in your life where you shouldn't be flexing and exercising those sobriety muscles in some form. That's just what recovery is. Do you have to be on this board 10 hours a day? Do you have to attend nineteen million meetings a week of whatever your program of choice is? No. But.....you can never lose mindfulness of the road you're on. The AV never leaves, it just takes a vacation but is always watching from the wings. Long after every craving has left and long after your comfort zone is where you like it to be.

biminiblue

Clocking in.



The eagle is missing from the nest, I am verklempt.

I knew this day was coming but I feel like tetra's mom.

biminiblue

okay, I went to the eagle forum. Baby slipped and fell (flew) to the ground, so he's out!

Like Dee always says, it doesn't have to be graceful.







Hope everything turns out okay.

BixBees505

LadyBlue, thank you for your post this morning. Very real, very true. Even as early in sobriety as I am, I sense a staleness to my routines. It doesn't bother me...yet. I think it will take putting more energy and openness into it to keep finding fresh ways to flex/grow sober muscles.

Thanks all...off to my day.

redfalcon

Tetra can you catch the bugs and put them in an envelope, and then slide them under your landlords door? Maybe that might help him get off his butt!!!!

Welcome back Asa- new recovery plan time? Or some tweaks at least?

It's bed time for me. Have a great next 24 guys.

Red

biminiblue

The eagle is on the ground. I read the chatroll. The parents are attempting to lure it back to the nest - 60 feet up a pine tree. The youngster had what they're calling an, "accidental fledge," so basically it slipped and fell out of the nest. S/he is 72 days old, they usually fledge at 80 days. The parents brought it a fish on the ground and then took the fish to the nest to try to get the young one to fly to the nest.

More will be revealed. It doesn't appear the bird was injured, it has made some short flights. What an amazing story, I'm glad I followed this family - I've learned so much about eagles!

BrendaChenowyth

Omg today was SO bad. Couldn't sleep worth a crap. Got sick from my Carnation Breakfast drink. Med passes took forever. Now of course as always when I leave the nursing home, my head feels like it's gonna explode. I'm actually in good spirits despite it all. I should study but might nap first, after I help mama.

saoutchik

Petals, i'm sorry to hear about your husband. I wish him good luck in finding a new job asap. I'm sure that whatever decisions you arrive at will be the right ones.

Thank you for your excellent post LadyBlue. Euphoric recall is very apt. Whenever the thought of drinking comes uninvited into my thoughts it is always a vision of myself enjoying a couple of beers or a glass or two of wine with a meal or maybe a small single malt with a book before bedtime. The reality of my drinking was about as far away from that airbrushed fantasy as you can get.

biminiblue- good luck to the eaglet, lets hope he or she makes it back.

Glad you are still in good spirits BC.

I have had a good day at work myself for a change.

Tetra

I stayed late at work tonight and went for a walk after work so I could put off coming back to this hovel for a while longer. I was still typing at 7 PM and I was seriously considering buying one of those blow up mattresses and a sleeping bag. But I'm paying for this place as it is and that's not my job.

I used to get lonely in bed at night but not this lonely!

I'm in a serious funk tonight. The few little bright spots in my day was the scone with butter and jam I had for break, and tonight when I was out walking I got stopped by some tourists looking for directions. It gives me a warm glow to be able to point people in the right direction. I remember how I was treated on my first and only trip to Northern Ireland but that's another story.

Like my friend says "you have to focus on the little things in life".

Oh my dad gave me a print out of some tips he got online about getting rid of bedbugs. Number 2 is 'do not panic'. I'm long past that stage.

saoutchik

I would get as much photographic evidence as you can Tetra, not easy I know but your landlord really needs to do something about it.
It might be worthwhile emailing your local newspaper or contacting your radio station if you get no action. No one likes bad publicity.

petals

thanks Saou, i just feel totally exhausted by it all.I will defer from even thinking about big decision 3 until i know where we are at with his job situation......

BixBees505

I've got some realities I'd like to escape.