Get Support Here Weekender October 23 until...Part 2
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,206
Drinking some delicious lemonade or "limonade" as it says on the tin.
Then I read how much bloody sugar was in it
It's 10% sugar! Nice though it is I won't be buying it again
Three teenage girls sitting nearby all hawking and spitting like tobacco chewing road crew. Lovely
Then I read how much bloody sugar was in it
It's 10% sugar! Nice though it is I won't be buying it again
Three teenage girls sitting nearby all hawking and spitting like tobacco chewing road crew. Lovely
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hello, W'enders --
Off to work. I generally like my job but I'll be glad when the week is over. Too much stuff stacking up, too little communication.
But things could always be worse.
Best to all and to all SR pooches and kitties.
Off to work. I generally like my job but I'll be glad when the week is over. Too much stuff stacking up, too little communication.
But things could always be worse.
Best to all and to all SR pooches and kitties.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm not even in England and it's sodden this morning. It's been raining all night.
I'm currently sitting in the auditorium of my kids school, waiting to hand my daughter her picture day order form. Her class is second to get pictures. Interesting to watch the teacher keep the class that's currently in here occupied. 7 and 8 year olds. They're playing the silence game at the moment. Before it was math drill
I'm currently sitting in the auditorium of my kids school, waiting to hand my daughter her picture day order form. Her class is second to get pictures. Interesting to watch the teacher keep the class that's currently in here occupied. 7 and 8 year olds. They're playing the silence game at the moment. Before it was math drill
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I came very close to buying San Pellegrino. So it's laden with sugar, Sao? I was going to try blood orange flavor.
BixBees, take care and see you Thursday.
I woke up around 5-6 am to my husband quietly asking me if I hate him now. He's trying the "poor, sad, pitiful me" tactic. It was sad.
Sometimes I think I do hate him.
It's going to be pretty sad over the next several months. I don't know exactly how we're going to unravel from one another, but emotionally, I'm just outta the game at this point. A wall as come down and slammed shut for me.
I screamed at him yesterday while he was talking on the phone with his mother - telling her things that weren't true, making me look bad (right in front of me, to tick me off). I completely lost it and told him to get the f**** out of my house. He left, and came in an hour later. I won't go into details about the relationship I don't have with his idiotic lunatic mother. Guess that's sayin' enough.
I have lost all patience with him and with them.
A sort of miracle will need to happen for me to come up with a yearly income I've never made before. It's quite disheartening at this point. I did the math last night and it's pretty scary.
If there's any sort of comfort zone left, I'll be leaving it shortly.
BixBees, take care and see you Thursday.
I woke up around 5-6 am to my husband quietly asking me if I hate him now. He's trying the "poor, sad, pitiful me" tactic. It was sad.
Sometimes I think I do hate him.
It's going to be pretty sad over the next several months. I don't know exactly how we're going to unravel from one another, but emotionally, I'm just outta the game at this point. A wall as come down and slammed shut for me.
I screamed at him yesterday while he was talking on the phone with his mother - telling her things that weren't true, making me look bad (right in front of me, to tick me off). I completely lost it and told him to get the f**** out of my house. He left, and came in an hour later. I won't go into details about the relationship I don't have with his idiotic lunatic mother. Guess that's sayin' enough.
I have lost all patience with him and with them.
A sort of miracle will need to happen for me to come up with a yearly income I've never made before. It's quite disheartening at this point. I did the math last night and it's pretty scary.
If there's any sort of comfort zone left, I'll be leaving it shortly.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
SP - it's very disheartening to hear your of your struggle, I'm sure many of us have experienced similar situations - I have. I do not lament on my current situation, which is pretty good actually when put into perspective. I am unemployable in my field. Without detail, I lost an incredible income to now being just a hair above food stamps level. I know it's difficult to face the unknown or an uncertain future.
You must do what is best for your own well being. Your mental health and peace of mind is more important that anything according to me.
Do what is in your best interest. And when you take that step, don't be wishy-washy about it. Don't look back and don't dwell on the 'what ifs' once you go forward. You will come out ahead in the end. You may have to struggle financially in the beginning. I am learning to do with a LOT less. If I don't find a suitable position within a year, I have to sell this house. And that means relocating to something - different...
sao - Did you know that an equal serving of orange juice or any other juice - yes 100% juice - has more sugar than that 12 oz can of SP drink? True dat!
If you don't drink them like I used to drink beer, you'll be okay. Unless you want to cut sugar completely out of your diet. Then more than 75% of the food/drink you consume is history. I guessed on the 75%, but it's prolly in the ball park.
So that denny's grand slam breakfast is most likely the worst possible meal one could eat.
You must do what is best for your own well being. Your mental health and peace of mind is more important that anything according to me.
Do what is in your best interest. And when you take that step, don't be wishy-washy about it. Don't look back and don't dwell on the 'what ifs' once you go forward. You will come out ahead in the end. You may have to struggle financially in the beginning. I am learning to do with a LOT less. If I don't find a suitable position within a year, I have to sell this house. And that means relocating to something - different...
sao - Did you know that an equal serving of orange juice or any other juice - yes 100% juice - has more sugar than that 12 oz can of SP drink? True dat!
If you don't drink them like I used to drink beer, you'll be okay. Unless you want to cut sugar completely out of your diet. Then more than 75% of the food/drink you consume is history. I guessed on the 75%, but it's prolly in the ball park.
So that denny's grand slam breakfast is most likely the worst possible meal one could eat.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Thanks, LBrain. I was nearly holding my breath for someone to reply to that one, lol.
This has been a long time coming, well relatively, as we've only been married four years. I guess I really screwed up. Royally. There was ambivalence early on, and it's been insidious.
In all honesty, I think he and I are both hard to live with (first marriage for us both). I am fair-minded, and I see we're both to blame, though he will deny any wrongdoing, and that's what makes it so difficult for me to maintain patience.
I am sorry for your financial situation, and I've kind of gathered from your posts that is what had happened.
This has been a long time coming, well relatively, as we've only been married four years. I guess I really screwed up. Royally. There was ambivalence early on, and it's been insidious.
In all honesty, I think he and I are both hard to live with (first marriage for us both). I am fair-minded, and I see we're both to blame, though he will deny any wrongdoing, and that's what makes it so difficult for me to maintain patience.
I am sorry for your financial situation, and I've kind of gathered from your posts that is what had happened.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I was all ready to take pooch to the vet when I realized that he was not really limping today and was putting weight on the foot. He weighs 110lbs...so I'm going to give it another day before running out to the vet. These things sometimes heal themselves. And....utility men are doing work in my backyard so I'm glad to have my dogs inside and making their presence known. Especially the huge german shepherd.
Soberpotamus. ..you will figure this out. Consider it a challenge. I can hear your mind ticking. So many times we stay in unhappy situations out of fear...when in reality, if we can overcome the fear we can be just fine, even better.
Hang in there Ruby...enjoy your vacation.
Soberpotamus. ..you will figure this out. Consider it a challenge. I can hear your mind ticking. So many times we stay in unhappy situations out of fear...when in reality, if we can overcome the fear we can be just fine, even better.
Hang in there Ruby...enjoy your vacation.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
HAF, glad to hear the doggy seems to be improving Katie's limp is as well. Fingers crossed they both heal without medical intervention.
I can't help but think he and I will be better off set free from this. We've tried counseling and it was a comical disaster. He went with me once. Afterward, my therapist told me I'd missed my calling as an attorney, lol. I ate him alive in there (not proud of it).
He seems to feel constantly challenged (or intimidated?) by me when it's not my intention at all. He takes things personally I don't intend to be personal slights. And it's caused me to examine my harshness, or callousness, or whatever "lack" I seem to have for emotional intelligence.
A good friend here at SR who I've shared details with seems to think he is intimidated and is beginning to use my dogs (whom I love dearly) as tools to "get me back."
He is unreasonable, truly unreasonable, 80% of the time during attempts on my part to discuss things. He is a brick wall, and not only does he refuse to consider options, but he seems to go as far as "defying" me in any way he can.
It feels hopeless to imagine staying in this, as short as life is, and just after catching my breath so to speak, after some sustained sobriety and mental & emotional stability. It seems ludicrous that I'd wake up to find myself in a stale and dying marriage.
He has no desire to travel with me, and he barely understands my needs for solitude and privacy in order to write.
He seems to be holding grudges after my being sober 2.5 years going on 3. I was willing to allow for that, however. I can understand that, but at some point it's time to move on.
After the dog spankings, and after threatening to keep the dogs from me should we split, I've had it with him.
Katie's limp is as well. Fingers crossed they both heal without medical intervention.I can't help but think he and I will be better off set free from this. We've tried counseling and it was a comical disaster. He went with me once. Afterward, my therapist told me I'd missed my calling as an attorney, lol. I ate him alive in there (not proud of it).
He seems to feel constantly challenged (or intimidated?) by me when it's not my intention at all. He takes things personally I don't intend to be personal slights. And it's caused me to examine my harshness, or callousness, or whatever "lack" I seem to have for emotional intelligence.
A good friend here at SR who I've shared details with seems to think he is intimidated and is beginning to use my dogs (whom I love dearly) as tools to "get me back."
He is unreasonable, truly unreasonable, 80% of the time during attempts on my part to discuss things. He is a brick wall, and not only does he refuse to consider options, but he seems to go as far as "defying" me in any way he can.
It feels hopeless to imagine staying in this, as short as life is, and just after catching my breath so to speak, after some sustained sobriety and mental & emotional stability. It seems ludicrous that I'd wake up to find myself in a stale and dying marriage.
He has no desire to travel with me, and he barely understands my needs for solitude and privacy in order to write.
He seems to be holding grudges after my being sober 2.5 years going on 3. I was willing to allow for that, however. I can understand that, but at some point it's time to move on.
After the dog spankings, and after threatening to keep the dogs from me should we split, I've had it with him.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
took a shower and washed my hair with 'real' shampoo. and scented soap etc.
my hair was getting like straw. Two weeks of using 'hunter soap' is not good for hair. As I was getting ready to head out for a haircut there was an intervention. So I guess I'll let it go for another week.
Steady rain but not as cold here. As I was watching the leaves rain down yesterday it brought an awareness to the fact that it was also happening in my yard. Raking up wet leaves is easier than dry leaves... but you get wet doing it.
SP - in my first marriage I was to the point of hating waking up every day. I trembled when she arrived home. It was not a good feeling. And it was finally at the 4 year point when I said enough of this. I struggled to make it work for too long. All it did was give me anxiety - extreme anxiety.
I recall my work place wanted me to go to counseling to get over the breakup. I laughed at them and said, 'Are you kidding? This is the best I've felt in a long time.' They assumed I would be crushed over the divorce. They monitored every aspect of my life - came with the territory. Outsiders have no idea what goes on in one's personal life. And whenever I hear someone talk about something gone wrong in a relationship, I know there are two sides to the story. No-one ever can know what you experience. It is your own and only you know what's best for you.
I got tired of everyone telling me what a sweet girl she was. Sure she was. But they didn't know the 'whole story'.
SP - I see you posted as I was typing. We went to counseling. When we left we both laughed at the counselor. Most of the time they don't have a clue.
my hair was getting like straw. Two weeks of using 'hunter soap' is not good for hair. As I was getting ready to head out for a haircut there was an intervention. So I guess I'll let it go for another week.
Steady rain but not as cold here. As I was watching the leaves rain down yesterday it brought an awareness to the fact that it was also happening in my yard. Raking up wet leaves is easier than dry leaves... but you get wet doing it.
SP - in my first marriage I was to the point of hating waking up every day. I trembled when she arrived home. It was not a good feeling. And it was finally at the 4 year point when I said enough of this. I struggled to make it work for too long. All it did was give me anxiety - extreme anxiety.
I recall my work place wanted me to go to counseling to get over the breakup. I laughed at them and said, 'Are you kidding? This is the best I've felt in a long time.' They assumed I would be crushed over the divorce. They monitored every aspect of my life - came with the territory. Outsiders have no idea what goes on in one's personal life. And whenever I hear someone talk about something gone wrong in a relationship, I know there are two sides to the story. No-one ever can know what you experience. It is your own and only you know what's best for you.
I got tired of everyone telling me what a sweet girl she was. Sure she was. But they didn't know the 'whole story'.
SP - I see you posted as I was typing. We went to counseling. When we left we both laughed at the counselor. Most of the time they don't have a clue.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Ugh, oh wow that sounds so familiar, LBrain. I cringe when he comes in the front door. It's sad.
He is also "the sweetest guy" according to his friends and relatives. He's made me into the enemy, I know it. It disgusts me to no end.
He is also "the sweetest guy" according to his friends and relatives. He's made me into the enemy, I know it. It disgusts me to no end.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
(((Potamus))) Ditto what everyone has said....especially the part about staying in a relationship out of fear. I'd rather live in a cardboard box than be in a bad relationship. You deserve peace and peace of mind in your life. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
HaF, I'm glad your dog is improving.
SoberP, in the beginning it's always hard to think of what you'll do and what will happen. As untenable as it feels, there's no rush to do it all now. Take your time and make plans. It sounds like you're researching options and that's good.
I'm feeling pretty much in the same situation. It can't go on forever but there's no hurry.
I'm sitting with s warm cat on my lap, watching TV, planning on putting a chicken in to roast. Have to plan my timing because I have to get the kids at 2:45. I've got a couple of hours.
SoberP, in the beginning it's always hard to think of what you'll do and what will happen. As untenable as it feels, there's no rush to do it all now. Take your time and make plans. It sounds like you're researching options and that's good.
I'm feeling pretty much in the same situation. It can't go on forever but there's no hurry.
I'm sitting with s warm cat on my lap, watching TV, planning on putting a chicken in to roast. Have to plan my timing because I have to get the kids at 2:45. I've got a couple of hours.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Ruby, I know you've been in a terribly trying situation, and I can certainly appreciate how hard it must be, especially with children.
I think most of the change for people in situations like we're in must be internal at first, lots, if not most of it.
I think most of the change for people in situations like we're in must be internal at first, lots, if not most of it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: maine
Posts: 204
I have stayed in a sick relationship for 30 years. Starting drinking 30 years ago. Not blaming it on him. I own a good half of the sickness. Now I am a tiny growing bud of sobriety and will leave, when the time is safe. Please don't let yourself suffer anymore. We took a couple of hostages too. (2 daughters.) Thanks for listening.
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